ive been lonely all my life....suffered abuse, bullying and trauma.....im 30 with bpd and ptsd.
ive never made any friends...never had any relationships with any girl....never been employed or gained qualifications.....live in a one bedroom apartment on welfare.
i strongly feel at times that its been this way because my life has been being controlled, has been prevented from going the way id like it to go.
like...only certain people i can talk to.....those who are veted and approved by the unknown persecutors..
people and girls who id like to no..all told to stay away from me...not associate with me.......there might be a girl that i like.....but im not allowed to go near her or get involved......she is told to not go near me..
like im not being allowed to go my own way in life....im being made to do it there way......im being watched..
girls that i like are a no no for me....their being told to ostracize me......only the special selected, veted girls i can associate with
2007-10-23 13:37:50 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
these feelings for me are based in reality,
because, half the girls or people ive ever
tried to get to no or befriend or have formed
attachments to, have abandoned me.
i have a very low self esteem because of all
trauma ive been through in life...im clingy..
needy.....want intamacy to soon...i try not
to be like this...and no i need to work on it.
im very lonely and desperate has a person.
but i cant shake the feeling my lifes being
controlled....that im fenced off from the mainstream.
prevented from getting to know people who i want to
know.
or their being told to stay away.
ive had this paranoia since 16.
im 30 now, live alone with bpd and ptsd.
2007-10-23 13:38:07 · update #1
i know this thought is far fetched and outthere..but if youve been rejected half your life....never built up any relationships with anyone....thoughts like this dont seem so irrational.
plus if youve been bullied, abused the majority of your life, humiliated....it reinforces this idea...im a victim who has no control
2007-10-23 14:18:52 · update #2
You certainly were abused and messed up when young. But, that is the past. To answer your question, it is now time for you take control of your life and not let others have the control. You have this ability. You must trust yourself.
Stay with therapy. Discuss this question with your doctor.
You're stuck in a rut in your thinking processes. You've got to get out of this rut. Do you see a psychiatrist and take medication? This would help clear your thoughts. Once you're thinking correctly, your mood will change.
When your mood changes for the better, you will naturally attrack people to you. You will no longer be lonely. Hang in there. Talk to your doc.
2007-10-23 14:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! I am sorry to hear that dude. If you feel you are being controlled, try and take control of your own life and let those who are trying to control you know that you need to experience things for yourself. I Would understand why you would be depressed. Loneliness alone can cause great depression. Seek some sought of counseling if don't already have it. Believe that you can be who you truly are and not what people want to make you out to be. You are human and you deserve the very best. Happiness, love and lots of smiles are all yours to enjoy. Take care of yourself. You'll be OK!
2007-10-23 13:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jetish 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get off your butt, get a job and get off welfare. Stop being a burden to the rest of us. When you start supporting yourself your self esteem will improve. You have to make yourself valuable to society. When that happens people will want to be around you. If others are controlling your life it is because you let them. Stop whining and do something.
2007-10-23 14:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's a lot to bear. I think seeking counseling/treatment is a start in the right direction. I wish the best.
2007-10-23 13:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I can understand why you live alone and are lonely, you do too, if what you have written here is any indication of the truth. If you are in therapy, stay with it, you need it.
2007-10-23 13:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋