My 5 yr old daughter is very rude my partner (not her father) and wont talk to him when he tries what to do?

Question

My daughter is very rude to my partner we ahve been together 2 yrs and her father hasn't been around since she was 2mths old. She wont talk to him pokes , her tounge out, sticks her finger up( not very often). It leaves me and my parnter arguing and yelling and he ends up hating me cos im not being a "good" mum. My daughter admits she doesn't care if i yell and send her to her room but when my partner does she cares and it does up set her. I hate yelling at her it hurts me. I need help.
What shoul i do? and answers to help woudl be GREAT.

Answer 1

Well, I think you've kind of put her in an unstable environment at a critical age. You shouldn't be living with someone you aren't married to, number one. At three years old, now 5, she likely just sees him as an intrusion on her expected monopoly on you. He no doubt is not being her "daddy" he's just this figure who takes you away from her. He should be someone who comes over sometimes, even every day maybe, but not someone who is living there. Also, kids know when someone likes them or not, it's an innate ability they have, so I am suspect of his attitude and feelings toward her. A 5 year old is generally very easy to get along with, but the issue here seems to be that she has this guy in her life, but it's not someone she sees as dad, and she is right. He's physically there, he's there like a dad as far as space and time go, but he's still not dad, and she recognizes that at the most simple level. I say all this assuming he is living with you, and make no mistake about it, nothing good ever comes of unmarried people living together. Personally, I would change the living arrangement.

Answer 2

I am not trying to pull a Dr. Phil on you, but it sounds to me that if you guys are aware that she is manipulative then you should also be aware that she continues to do it because it works. Do not allow her behavior to control your life, she is not to young to lose all things from her room except the bed and the dresser. When you put her into a time out chair or area make sure it is away form all walls and not in her bedroom out of your sight. You need to stop allowing her to get the whole family into arguments as long as she sees that she has the argument going she has accomplished what she wanted. It sounds to me like she is seeking attention and is getting rewarded with that attention even though it is not the attention she needs, but it works. Five is a tough age especially if she is in school for the first time children mock a lot more things in life once they start school, if this is a new behavior she seen someone do it and saw the attention it got .

Answer 3

She knows exactly what she is doing. She is trying to make you guys fight, hoping that he will leave and she will have you all to herself, or her real dad will come back. Neither one of you should yell at her, or fight with each other, but I would find some form of punishment, that would get her attention. What does she like to do the most? Well she would not be able to do it for 1 day, then 2days, and keep adding on 1 more day each time she does it. You have been together for 2 years, and should be working together not tearing each other apart.

Answer 4

your partner is right, you are not a good mother.

where do you think your child is going to learn respect??? on the streets???

this is your fault. you are allowing her to act this way. a 5 year old giving an adult the finger, sticking out her tongue, being rude in general is discusting behavior for a 5 year old!!!

bad behavior starts at home when the kids are young. you are teaching her that she can do as she wishes with no consequences that matter to her. when she is 15 are you going to allow her to shop lift? get drunk? stay out all night??? think about it, you are setting a pattern of bad behavior!!!

you better stop worrying about how disciplining your daughter is hurting you and think about what kind of life she is going to be living without a good upbringing.

your daughter will only do what you allow her to do. stop allowing her to misbehave and teach her to behave. she and you and your partner will be much happier in the end.

good luck!

Answer 5

I have an idea that you did not introduce your daughter to your "partner" very carefully. She was apparently 3 years old when you brought this person into her life. It was a big change for her to have you move someone new into her life at such a tender age. I have an idea that you will have a difficult time convincing your partner to make friends with her, but he is alienating himself to her by his anger and raising his voice at her. Until he calms down, she is going to continue to be angry with him.

Answer 6

ok, so what yuo need to do is get them together for a family meeting, i think the problem is she knows hes not her father and should not have to listen to him, trust me, when my mom was in and out of relationships, idid the same thing, its a phase, she will accept him after a while. Good Luck, By the way, your not a bad Mother.

Answer 7

Maybe you should try asking her why she acts the way she does towards him. Maybe she is jealous of the time you are spending with him. Maybe she is afraid that he is going to take you away from her.

Find a way to get them to have to do stuff together in order for them to build their own relationship. Maybe try not to fight or yell in front of her too. Maybe she has heard him yelling at you and that is why she is acting the way she is.

Answer 8

Sit them in a room together and everytime your daughter wises off make her go up to him and give him a hug and say sorry.

Answer 9

your child needs a spanking. she seems like she is being a brat. she knows she has you right where she wants you. if it upsets her that your partner yells at her and ends her to her room then tell her y'all are the adults and she isn't. your child might not agree and is not supposed to. Don't let her control you!