One of my best friends is getting married soon and she's asked me to be her "Man on honor". Although I'm straight it makes me a little uncomfortable and I don't know how to handle the situation without hurting her feelings?
2007-10-23 13:05:44 · 20 answers · asked by Brrr. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have mostly guy friends. I am going away to get married, but if I was to have a wedding at home with a "wedding party", I would have had at least two of my guy friends stand for me...in nice tuxes.
It doesn't mean that you aren't straight...my guy friends like beer, football, and fights...they are just better friends than most girls :)
2007-10-23 13:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by WorldTraveler 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Short answer yes. Long answer no.
My cousin has her brother as her 'man of honour'. He was the only other member of the wedding party except the bride and groom. All he did was hold her bouquet when the rings were exchanges and sign the legal documents. After the ceremony he became a 'guest' and sat with the family rather than up with the bride and groom. He wore a suit.
If you are not the only member of the wedding party I would think that being a 'man of honour' is a little odd. Why can't you be a groomsman instead but still help the bride?
I would be odd for you to stand up there with the girls (hopefully in something not too matching), go dress shopping, organise a bridal shower and bachelorette party and be the only male in a group of women.
If you like doing all those traditionaly female things and don't mind being the odd one out then go ahead and be the man of honour.
If not (and since you are uncomfortable then this seems like your option) tell her that you are flattered to be asked but believe another female friend might be more suited to the position due to all the mysterious female things that happen and that men should never know about. Of course if she unofficially needs help with a few things you won't mind being there for her.
2007-10-24 01:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Mixed gender bridal parties are becoming more and more popular these days.
You standing up there in no way reflects your "straightness" (or lack thereof) - it's a reflection of how important you are to the bride and that, regardless of your gender, she wants you by her side on one of the most important days of her life. And you can be called whatever you want - Man of Honor, Attendant of Honor, Groomsman...
I have a best guy friend standing on my side and my fiance has his sister standing on his side (my guy friend is wearing the same outfit as the groomsmen, but with a different tie that coordinates with the bridesmaids).
Go for it - it'll mean a lot to the bride and be a memorable experience for both of you.
2007-10-23 21:18:50 · answer #3 · answered by Muhnkee 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yep!! My fiance will have his female friend (since childhood) be his Best Woman. My fiance was also her "Honor Attendant" when she got married a few years ago. I love the idea. You should feel honored that she wants to include you in this way! The way I see it is, why not have your closest friends, whether they be male or female, in that place of honor on such a special occasion?? Plus, you can always do all the "guy" events leading up to the wedding with the groom & his groomsmen.
2007-10-23 20:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by sunflower 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely you can be. I'd go with the term attendant, but other than that it's a great idea. When I got married, my closest friend was female, and I wanted her to be my "best man", but my fiance at the time was dead set against it. I gave in and had some guy who I wasn't all that close to be my best man. Actually I let my now ex wife drive my friend away. I'll never do that again. If she wants you there, do and and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
Have fun at the wedding.
2007-10-23 20:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anthony B 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
She's not going to make you wear a dress or anything freaky.
If you are uncomfortable with being that untraditional just tell her. You are completely supportive and would love to help her in any way you can but you are a "color between the lines" type of guy and standing as a maid of honor would take that too far for your comfort level.
2007-10-23 20:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes. A guy can be the man of honor. You won't have to wear a dress, you would just stand in your tux on her side of the church. If it really makes you uncomfortable offer to be a groomsman. I have been to several weddings where men (straight) have been the man of honor.
2007-10-23 20:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lil Miss Answershine 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You wouldn't be a bridesmaid you would be an attendant. You could also use the title Attendant of Honor, instead of Man of Honor.
A growing trend is to have male and female friends and family on both sides of the alter. You would just wear the same tux, but stand on the brides side.
I think it's a great idea and you should be honored that your friend asked you!
2007-10-23 20:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by Reba 6 · 9⤊ 2⤋
I say go for it. It's her special day and she obviously thinks your her best friend and if you are...................you should have her happiness in mind above yours on this special occasion. I say go for it.
I think its the perfect opportunity to make a great speech. You could start with something like "Hello everyone, I'm ............ and I'm the maid of honor. And no I'm not a woman unfortunately (you can really add some great jokes in here, like how life would be easier if you were etc). And no I'm not gay......sorry guys!" You get my drift.
2007-10-23 21:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I would be honored if I were you.
Hey...Oprah was "best lady" for a guy friend of hers....I even saw it on her show!
Why not.....Obviously, you will wear a tux...never mind all the rude comments on here. I would be flattered. Yes, it has been done. And, if as you say she is one of your best friends, I would do it.....You DON'T have to go to the bridal shower!!
2007-10-23 20:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋