We have a small farm that we do not live at - the house is old and needs some repairs but we have a lot of personal things that we keep there. My MIL had a key in case of emergencies because #1 she can see our farm from her house & #2 we still have utilities turned on there & in case of a problem with the gas or electric she had a key to get inside to turn off anything inside. I didn't have a problem with this until recently her boyfriend mentioned personal things we had .I asked how he knew about them & he told me he goes into the house about once a week to look around & make sure nothing is missing. I told him that he didn't need to do that because I am at the farm every day & I check the house when I'm there. 2 days later I went to the house earlier than usual & he was walking out of the house with my MIL. I asked why & he wanted to look at the books to find something to read. I took back the key & now no one in the family will speak to me. Should I have left the key with them
2007-10-23 12:57:19 · 21 answers · asked by Love being a Mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband can not stand his mom's boyfriend. He is like a 10 yo in a 65 yo man's body. My husband tried talking to him mom but she started crying and he felt bad about it. But he couldn't get her to understand he doesn't want other people in our home. But as for something to hide, no, I just like privacy. My old paycheck stubs or old love letters from hs are NO ONE's business to read through.
2007-10-23 13:09:20 · update #1
i think you were right to take the key away, personally I think that their behavior is strange.
2007-10-23 13:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
You were just in taking the key from them. It was inappropriate for them to continually go there and they abused the privelage of the key. You had told them going there everyday was not needed. I believe that people refusing to speak to you is childish and immature. Perhaps they didn't get the real story. It was not between you and other family members so they shouldn't take sides. What has your husband said about all of this? Hopefuly he will back you up completely. I would tell the family together tell them that you want to continue to have a relationship with them and hope that everyone can put this behind them.
2007-10-23 20:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it is done now. would have been better to approach your mother-in-law with a request that her friend not go through your personal stuff. if you are there everyday and your mom-in-law is also there everyday, how much guarding does this farm require? why keep personal documents in a place where you don't live? why don't you just lock the cupboards and drawers or move your valuables to one store and keep its key? so many solutions and so late! go back to mom-in-law with the new security measures and apologise for your hasty action but you were forced to do it since you felt her friend was taking advantage of HER good nature!! so diplomatic!!
2007-10-23 20:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by zaikai61 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did your husband have to say about it? Curious as it was his Mom that was doing this. Did he talk to her at all prior to you retrieving the key? Did you both agree on getting the keys back? Why didn't he request the key from his Mom instead of you?
Again just curious as the family silent treatment would have been avoided if he handled it and kept you out of it.
2007-10-23 20:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing...that was not a family member in your house..and your trusted your MIL to take care of things, and now her BF was looking at your personal things, and now that no one speaks to you ...i would make a point to say ...how would you feel if you gave me the key to YOUR house and i let a friend go over there and look thru all your things....
question tho, what does your husband think of all this ...he should be the one telling his mom and other family members how wrong that was and that they are the ones that broke that trust.
good luck
2007-10-23 20:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your house do with it as you please. Your mother-in-law was not using the key for what it was suppose to be used for. That was a total lack of respect to you, to go in after you said that they didn't need to, because you where there every day. If they will not speak, that is up to them, but I wonder how they would like someone going through their possessions, repeatedly, without their permission.
2007-10-23 20:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are at the property every day so there is no need for anyone else to have a key. Certainly not after being told not to enter.
2007-10-23 20:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by annvictorblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you're right. You shouldn't have people going into your home and just browsing about. It's nosey even if they are family. I get pissed off when my mother opens my mail when I'm away at college, and she wouldn't dare go into my room back home. But you should have gotten your husband to speak to his mother first. Well it's easy to look at things in hindsight, you've stepped in it, and it's going to take a lot of *** licking to get back to where you were.
2007-10-23 20:20:54 · answer #8 · answered by garion b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, that is your home, your privacy, and your MIL was wrong in taking someone there. They'll get over it, stick to your guns. They keep it up, tell them to give her the keys to their house so they can go through their stuff. They'll shut up.
2007-10-23 20:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO, what your MIL did was unacceptable. SHe had no right to allow her boyfriend into your house. Especially after you had told him it was unnecessary. Basically your MIL has betrayed your trust and owes you an apology.
2007-10-23 20:01:23 · answer #10 · answered by libaki 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
no you shouldn't have left the key with them...
you know what was going on, they were being nosey trespassers! if anyone doesn't like it too bad. if they say something to you, just say, it wasn't your house they were going through now was it.
2007-10-23 20:13:08 · answer #11 · answered by KRIS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋