joekes...>?

Question

~.~I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.
~.~A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. "Haven't I seen you in here many times already? And didn't I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?"
"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in
anyway!"
~.~mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."
~.~The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table

was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
~A mother taught her daughter about sex.
She said,"If somebody feels the top part of your body, say stop. If somebody touches the bottom part, say don't."
One day the daughter came to the mother and said,"A boy in my class touched both the top and bottom parts, so I said, don't stop!"
~Two virgins get married.
As their first night together approaches, they wonder what they are supposed to do. So they decide to call the bride's mother.
The mother tells them to get undressed. They do.
Then she tells the bride that the groom should put the "Hardest part of his body into where you go to the bathroom."
An hour later, when the bride's mother calls back and asks how everything went, the bride says, "Well, I don't know, he has his head stuck in the toilet bowl, now what?"

The Family is sitting at the dinner table:
Son asks his father, " Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there are three kinds ofbreasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifties, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says,
"Mom, how many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree??"
"Yes dear.......
Dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration

Answer 1

Lol i love all of them

they are great!!!!



~xx* Star 4 u *xx~

Answer 2

Nice, I heard one or two before, but the rest were great!

Answer 3

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 4

lol. yea iv heard 1 of them b4. ther good tho lol.

Answer 5

That is a good one. you deserve a star thank you.

Answer 6

hahhahahahhahaha very good

Answer 7

good jokes, lol