10 Jokes!Star if ya like?

Question

1.A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. "Haven't I seen you in here many times already? And didn't I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?"

"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in
anyway!"

2.Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?

Defendant: No, I did not.

Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?

Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder.

3.A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

4.There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand-- it being hot and him being thirsty-- he decided to stop. once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents", well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway.

Well, he gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. so he slapped it back onto the table and says, "fill 'er up." and the kid says, "sure thing, that'll be 10 cents."

To this the business man says, "but your sign says all you can drink for a dime."

"It is," the little boy replies, "that's all you can drink for a dime."

5.A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with Me on thi

this,buy a ticket!"

6.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

7.A nun asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some of the notes the children handed in:

Dear God: I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool.

Dear God: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have?

Dear God: Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other so much if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.

Dear God: If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.

Dear God: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all of them.

Dear God: In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You're on vacation?

Dear God: Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?

Dear God: Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?

Dear God: Did You mean for the Giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God: Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear God: I went to this wedding and they kissed right in the church. Is that okay?

Dear God: Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if You did, then I'm going to get my brother good.

Dear God: Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.

Dear God: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything

anything before. You can look it up.

Dear God: I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.

Dear God: You don't have to worry about me; I always look both ways

9.This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion Of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teac

9.The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The
Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around
Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger
returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that

owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your
Injun runnin'."

10.A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the t

of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?"

The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!"

It ends now :D

9.The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The
Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around
Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger
returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns th

that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your
Injun runnin'."

Answer 1

how does it end?

Answer 2

awww... i didnt get to finish it... heres a trick so next time i wont get halfway only... lol.. write it on the word program... then after u finish writing it... copy it and paste it onto the yahoo thing... this way, you'll negate the word limit and have as many words as u want...

but so far i like all ur jokes.. very funny... so ill give u a star and come back to it later...

Answer 3

Ha Ha! Funny! 10!

Answer 4

how does it enddddd
nooooooooooooooo
i bet it was funny

Answer 5

lol
that was pretty good !!