How do I deal with a mommas boy?

Question

Okay, I have been with this boy for about a year and I LOVE HIM TO DEATH, but he is really stuck on his mom. His mother constantly disrepsects me because she views me as a threat. She feels as if I am taking her son away from her, and she is having trouble with letting him go. I am always uncomfortable around her because I know there is this invisible wall of hate or something between us. And the worst part about it is I don't know how to tell him he is a little too close to her. I am afraid that he would turn on me and take the side of his mom. I also feel as if he would consider me in the wrong because I shouldn't have a problem with him being close to his mom. I just can't take it anymore, I am sick of competing with her and always being second. I know eventually boys are suppose to grow away from their parents and become one with their mate, but I don't ever see him doing that. I see us constantly getting into arguements and my feelings always beeing last. What should I do?

Answer 1

Hun, My mom tried dateing a mommas boy for 5 years and he just never let go. His mom needs to let go but she wont. There aint anything wrong with you she just feels like he's all hers. I mean if you talk to him and he turns on you just because you tell him that than you may love him but if he can't stand up for you just a little that's sad. And most cases they NEVER grow apart...sadly. But no matter what you've got to talk to him. If he takes it horrible than maybe that shows you something about him. I know it's hard cuz' your so in love. See what we do for love...geez.

Answer 2

I would just let your boyfriend know how you feel. You have the right to express your feelings, especially if his mom is being disrespectful towards you. Some people are very close to their parents, I know I am, especially because I am an only child. But I do not let my mom get in the middle of my relationship with my boyfriend. My mom is pretty good and really never says anything negative about my boyfriend. On occausion though, I just have to remind her I won't tolerate it. I think even though his mom is his mom, he still needs to stand up for you when she says negative things about you. It is his job, and yes, there is a chance your boyfriend's mom really does view you as a threat, but she really needs to cut the embilical cord and your boyfriend needs to realize you are also an important part of his life. I wouldn't necessarily compare the role of mother with girlfriend, because they are unique. But if you do feel comfortable maybe even let his mom know you have more in common then she thinks, you both love him.
Take Care.
I also wanted to comment about the comment above me. I think you have a right to an opinion about his mother if you are married or not. I think the main thing is you are in a committed relationship, if you were just a fling or nothing serious then I could see how your opinion wouldn't be that valid. But you have been with him for a year, and that shows you are committed to eachother. The post above sounds bitter if anything.

Answer 3

Dump him. He's a sissy.

Man that never works. We always take up for momma. But when we marry, we leave our moms to be one with our wife. That onus is on the man. He has to enforce that. Of course, he ain't yo husband yet. But what you see now may be a window into his psyche, so he may not change.

Tip: Don't pee in the snow...er..don't eat yellow snow, and never live within a stones throw of your in-laws.

Answer 4

You are not his wife. And frankly you are a threat and I'll bet his mother can see right through you. Its you competing not her, and its your insecurities that are going to ruin your relationship. How about backing off and see if he really wants to marry you. Once he makes that sort of commitment, then you have a right to have an opinion about his mother. But not until then.

Answer 5

Dump him.