In asian family, it is okay for a girl to stay with the parent because we are entiltle to take care of them forever. But boys, they have to leave home at age 18. I disagree with this because I think it is not the right age for someone who is 18 to leave home yet. !8 year old just graduated. They are not fully an adult yet. it is just the beginning of their adult life. They have no where else to go. Unless you are from a richer family than it might be easier for you, but for the poor adult that turn 18 or up. Its hard to start living by themselves. With the bills and car payment. Wow, they will not survived. I believe it is not weird for them to still live with their parents. Until they could get on their feet than they can leave but when they can't. they should still live with their parent. That just my point of view. What yours.
2007-10-23 10:32:15 · 15 answers · asked by Un4getableAsianGirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No i dont think it's weird or awkward at all, I bet more than half the time the kid feels like they need to get on their feet to owe their parents something. 18 - 21 Is still very young, they're still wondering what they want of life, what job, how they're going to live, marriage, things like that. They need a roof over their heads and food, i dont think when people are that young still and some clueless, that they should move out immediately! I agree, let them decide things first. Being there for your kid is just being a good parent, let them have a room for a few years, it won't do you harm. As long as they're thankful and understand, and don't just sit and waste their life, i think its sweet, but if they want to go and they know what they're doing, cool!
2007-10-23 10:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Blue 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't stereotype all Asian families as the same. Of my Chinese friends, one left at age 19, when he finished high school, but the other four lived with their parents until at least age 23, and one is 25 and just moving out now - and his parents are sad to see him go.
Of my Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi friends, maybe 1/2 stayed at home, and half moved away to study. The ones that stayed home don't have parents who are pushing them to get out of the house.
I'm not sure if this is an Asian thing, or maybe your parents, or the area you live in. Of course, some parents may think their kids need to become more independent, or feel that 18 is adult. That depends on the situation, but isn't an issue of ethnicity.
2007-10-23 10:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by drusillaslittleboot 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. It's tough today for kids to find affordable housing. Does he she want go to college..I would just insist that they have goals for thier future and make school mandatory if they are that age as conditions for living in the home. The IRS even allows an extended deduction for them to be dependents if they are over 18 but a full time student.
2007-10-23 10:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't find it weird at all. My daughter is 21 and still lives with me. I don't "take care" of her, she carries 18 units in college, the cost of living here is high and her college doesn't have any dorms, she would not be able to afford the cost of rent for an apartment even with a room mate. So she lives here, pays me "nominal" rent as well as paying for her needs (clothing, makeup, phone and some of her groceries). I don't mind it, she follows the rules here, carries a 3.5 GPA and also has a part time job.
2007-10-23 10:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the current generation of 'adults' (18-30) seem to think the world owes them a living. they expect everything done for them and whinge like a stuck pig when it doesnt happen. i've seen 28 year olds still living with their parents because its just too easy to stay and get everything done for you. its like they fear the real world. I left home at 16 to study and work; and my wife left home at 18, and we were married shortly after that. we have supported ourselves through doing all the ugly-nonglamourous jobs that existed just to make ends meet; and i'll tell you it makes you appreciate what you have got. since then we have graduated to more 'respectable' jobs and are now doing quite nicely thankyou; but i see many 'adults' who wont do the hard yards in work, and just expect riches and adoration to be heaped at their feet. old school time kinds, EARN IT, and prove you are worthy before expected to be given it all.
2007-10-23 10:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No matter your culture/ race/ sex or age-
As my child, and part of my family.
If you are going to college- SCHOOL is your job.
As a parent, I support you. That is my personal responsibility.
However, in return, You will earn that privilege by doing things around the house and working part time to pay for your own personal expenses.
After you are through with college, grad school (age 24 or so) then go get a great job, pay your college loans, and get a place of your own and take full responsiblity for yourself.
By that age, with life experience, education you can make the correct choices to establish a successful achievements that come with adult hood.
If you choose to "not" go to school and become a worker and make your way in the world, then do so. There is the door. You have chosen that life and it is YOUR responsibility, you are of legal age to make those choices with your life. I love you and good luck, make good choices.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NOW- here was my reality. [A very nontraditional youth]
I moved out at age 18, six months before I graduated from highschool, continued school and worked 40-60 hours a week to make my way in this world. Young and able!
I attended 7am collage classes and 6pm college classes and paid for them ALL myself while working a 40 + hour work week and living in a crappy apartment with NO social life. I had a cat and ate lots of bologna or peanut butter sandwiches in my car.
Ask me how it felt? Awesome! It was hard and I worked like a dog. I was raised dirt poor and VOWED to never be that way again- no matter what it took~ They raised me the best they could and Hard work is in my blood! I put my head down and JUST DID IT (as Nike says). By the time I completed college (paid for in cash-no loans) I actually had $17,000 in my savings account. Because, I did not waste money on anything, paid cash on ly and NO one could tell me that being "thrifty" "coupon queen" or what ever didn't work!
Fashion was a waste of money, get the classics and good quality clothes. If you looked at me, you thought I was a "Rich" woman, because I did NOT do trendy things. My clothes were from Sears, shoes from Thom McCann's and never worn a thing with a "label" on it. That doesn't impress me much. I'm too logical for that. Being creatively POOR, makes you a better person.
Created a successful business and traveled the world.
Married in my mid-thirties, created a family and changed my whole life again. [Now a very traditional wife, mother- a true honor to be loved by my husband- to bless us and afford to be this person for my whole family and community]
Today- I am a MOM, teacher, minister and sold my small business to pay for the education of my child in private school to give him so much more that I ever had. I make him work hard for it. I spend most weekends "honoring" my parents by helping them do the things they can't do anymore, with respect I do these without being told. See the family responsibility goes both ways, the child becomes the parent later in life, yet not only to the young, the old as well.
YOU earn respect in this world- not from others- from yourself.
Take the time to seriously "weigh" the issues. Peer pressure is not a concern in the "large picture" of life. What would you tell your child, when its your turn?
That is the lesson a school counselour told me at age 16, when I knew I was only a "B" student and too poor to get into a great college. She said WORK hard and make your way in this world and never step on the faces or hand that cross your path to help you reach your goals. I live by that- 30 years later! I will never be a money-rich woman, I give to charities and give my time to the ones that "can't" help themselves.
I am the richest, happiest person I know. My heart is full.
I started helping others at age 13 for a minim of 4 hours a week. That is still part of my life. How can you recieve, if you don't give more? I found that doing that simple, yet time consuming act, changed my life totally. Some one is always worse off than me. It reminds me to be humble and grateful.
2007-10-23 11:04:45 · answer #6 · answered by Denise W 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think for any culture if a child has their goals in life and living at home helps them to achieve that goal, there is nothing wrong with that. That's wonderful to have parents who are supportive enough to help their children achieve in life until they are capable to stand on their feet alone. I commend parents like that.
2007-10-23 10:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, 18 doesn't necessarily mean that they are ready to be on their own. Some 18 year olds just aren't mature enough to be resposible for themselves at 18 and need additional time to get there.
2007-10-23 11:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with YOU! I was 28 when I moved out of my parents house to get married and start another life. They never pressured me to move out and they never asked me for a red cent. They were happy as long as I was in their sight, because they knew I was safe. That was my parents though. It also depends on your parents financial background. If you are 28 and are lazy, always on the couch, that's one thing, I wouldn't want you there either. But if you work, are responsible and are a good kid, your parents should have no problem letting you stick around until you think you are ready.
2007-10-23 10:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by luckylady 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're right. If people move out right when they're 18 they will not have a good job and will still have to go to school, so they probably won't be able to support themselves.
2007-10-23 10:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋