say you have a 20 year old daughter that moves out will you still be controlling and pushy like you were to her when she lived with you...in your house? or would you just let her go on with her own life?
2007-10-23 09:58:02 · 9 answers · asked by Talk Talk 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At some point all parents have to learn that you don't do your kids any favors by not letting them fall on their faces once in a while. We did when we were young, and it did us good. I try very hard to not interfere in my daughters lives, but I am supportive if asked to be. I am also very close to my daughters.
2007-10-23 10:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at age 20 she is an adult and can make her own decisions. You are still entitled to giving your thoughts and opinions, but she may or may not take them. It's possible that because you were too controlling and pushy that you gave her a reason to move out. At that age you have to lay off on the controlling and pushiness. It will only push them away and if you want them to listen to your advice then you need to befriend them, but not be too friendly.
2007-10-23 17:04:58 · answer #2 · answered by ~Sara~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to let go sometimes. Just because your child turns a certain age or when they first move out, there isn't a flip that switches off in our brain that says, "Oh you don't have to worry about them any more." So remember this is an adjustment for your parents too, not just you. Some parents handle it better than others.
Just give them little reminders like, "Okay, Mom I'm not a baby any more." "Okay Dad, at some point you're going to have to let me make some of my own choices..." etc... they will get the picture hopefully.
You may just want to sit down and talk with them. Let them know that you understand it isn't easy on them. Let them know that you are being smart and careful and that you need a little rope and a little space here.
2007-10-23 17:03:01 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I sent my 19 year old daughter off to college (bought her a car) and turned her loose. I have no control over her life,I can only give guidance and hope that lessons I taught her growing up have stayed with her.
Her mom and I divorced when she was a baby,but I have always been close to her,I had visitation every weekend and I never missed one.
She is on her own now,and it seems that she has no time for me right now (unless she needs money)
I'm hurt,but I hope this is only a phase she's going through.She's a great kid and I know sh'll do great things with her life.
I can't tell you what to do with your daughter,but I can suggest that you just let her go,.....help her through the hard times,and let her know that you'll always be there for her,and that she can always come home.
Rob in Pa.
2007-10-23 17:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by renume 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't pushy and controlling with my daughter when she lived in my house and I certainly wasn't pushy and controlling when she moved out.
2007-10-23 17:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess if she is on her own, paying her own bills, and I mean all of her own bills, doing laundry at her house or at the laundramat and asking for no assistance what so ever from me--then and only then would I be inclined to let her "go on with her life:. For a person to be truly independent and "go on with their lives" it means that they are paying their own way, buying their own car insurance, paying for their own education if they are in college, not asking for someone to help with any of their bills. Until this occurs-you are not really going on with your own life.
2007-10-23 17:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by GrammieN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is an adult & on her own. Depends what she is doing. Is she doing anything wrong that you can guide her on? If not, let her make her own decisions unless she is danger or it will hurt her or others somehow.
2007-10-23 17:18:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one well it all depends on how your daughter is with you if she is responsible id giver her some space but i would always be worried to know hows shes doing once in a while
2007-10-23 17:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kush 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let her love and be loved
but u have to learn here how to protect herslf from bad guyz
learn her
and u have to pray 4 her and learn her how to be close to god
2007-10-23 17:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by filo2000hh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋