I have a wonderful fiance and our wedding is this summer. There is this problem tho, his family is from Russia, and his twice divorced mother just started dating again, and will probably end up marrying this guy. The issue is Sergi and I are in our early 20's and we have a house together etc...His mother maria wants her boyfriend Jim to play "daddy" at our wedding...She is probably going to want our future children to call him "grandpa"...JIm is a nice guy, but he has not been of our lives till last week, Maria wants jim to play all the normal parts that a "normal father" would at a wedding,..I think she's pushing it too far. Also with our wedding so close, she is breaking plans with Sergi and I to hang our with Jim, she is so engrossed with Jim that I think she forgets she even has a son. When is enough...Enough
2007-10-23 09:53:53 · 7 answers · asked by Bride2Be 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Where is Sergi"s real dad? I would let your fiancee handle his mother and what her boyfriends part is in your wedding. Who know by the time you get married he may no longer be in the picture. As far as her breaking plans with you both I would let her be and be glad she has a man to keep her occupied that she is not causing problems for you. Plan your wedding and best wishes.
2007-10-25 08:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your fiance think about all this? If he is fine with it, let him play the "daddy role" at the wedding BUT you two should have the choice about your futre children. Now you say this will be her third marriage, what if it doesn't last? Sit down with your husband and talk about some posibilities.He may be gone after you have children are attached to him. Then after you two have decided talk with Maria and tell her your opinions on the situation. If she insits that Jim plays the role of the grandfather after you two decided not to, tell her no and stay firm. If he doesn't want Jim playing the Daddy role, than stay firm with that too. If your Mother-In-Law still insits and if he tries to do something fatherly ask them to leave. For heavan's sake! It is your wedding and your life. You chose how to lead it!
Good luck!
2007-10-23 17:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Justine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jim isn't your fiances father, won't he be there? Simply talk to Jim without the mothers interference and tell him that you like him so far but its alittle early to be calling him a family member. Unless of course he's paying for the wedding. Make that a joke, but he'll get it. I imagine this is alittle fast and furious for him too. Mom in law can invite a guest(Jim), but he's not anyone's father.
2007-10-23 17:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your fiance should sit down and talk about what you want to do with the situation, and when you have decided (because afterall it is YOUR wedding and children we're talking about), sit her down and see if she really does intentionally mean what she is doing. When you talk to her about it though, you should be kind of aware of her feelings though too. Sure she has been divorced a few times, and she's found someone..even for a few weeks...she's happy. Hey and if she is happy, you two should be happy..and if she's engrossed with Jim, then let her be, its better than being up in your business all of the time...
2007-10-23 17:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it is up to your husband. Is he comfortable with Sergi being in the "daddy," role and where is your fiance's real father? Is he going to be in the wedding?
The bottom line is that only your fiance can tell your Mom when enough is enough. You just have to back him up and give him the confidence to tell her.
As for her missing important wedding things. I would just remind her that she is missing things that will just be once in a life time. It is sad but it is her loss not yours.
2007-10-23 16:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her sure, you're all for that when Jim pays for the entire wedding just like a real father would do.
2007-10-23 17:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't let her bug you.The Summer is not here yet.Maybe by then your fiance will be able to tell the man to step back.Men really do know how to handle other men.You need to stop allowing them to get on your nerves.Drama will kill your marriage...hope this helps.
2007-10-23 17:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋