I live in Texas. My son is 6 months old. We have not formally adopted him yet but will in 1 month. I have an open adoption with my son's birthmother. We have a very good relationship.
My adopted son's maternal grandmother is a not a good person. She is convicted felon, has 3 kids who were taken away by CPS (including my son's birthmother) and still has 1 child in the foster care system. For some reason, she dead set on getting my son back though. She can't get her own son out of CPS but she wants my son. She threatens my son's birthmother all the time and has gone so far as to contact a lawyer. The lawyer tried to find out if his birthmother had been coerced.
Obviously there was no coercion. Do we have anything to worry about? I really need reassurance.
My son's birthmother let the adoption agency know what is going on and told them she is very happy with where her son is. I'm just concerned because she still seeks approval from her mom and can be easily influenced.
2007-10-23 08:45:40 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
Is there anything that can halt an adoption after the natural mother has terminated her parental rights?
2007-10-23 08:46:26 · update #1
I have a lawyer. My adoption agency talks to him. He definitely thinks were fine. My adoption agency is not concerned. I just really wanted reassurance and personal experience.
2007-10-23 08:55:14 · update #2
What do the courts legally define as coercion? Just curious what the grandmother might try to use against us.
2007-10-23 09:10:02 · update #3
Julie J: What are you talking about? His natural mother wants him to be with us. His maternal grandmother doesn't want him, she wants to win. She wants to control his natural mother. She asked his natural mother for money when she was 9 months pregnant. His maternal grandmother just got out of prison and isn't capable of raising her own son who is in the foster care system. My son's birthmother was raised in the foster system. Who in their right mind would think that my son should be with this woman instead of us.
2007-10-23 09:17:14 · update #4
She's 24. She's not a minor.
2007-10-23 10:51:22 · update #5
Summer: First off, I'm not infertile. I have chosen to adopt instead of having bio children. Second, she only contacted a lawyer and had the lawyer contact my son's birthmother. The lawyer is not going to check her background unless he takes the case. I honestly believe she is doing this to harass my son's birthmother. My son's birthmother is her only child that will have any contact with her anymore. She's mad because when my son's Birthmother chose adoption, she lost some of the control she had over her. I think she is trying to get back at her. The only stuff I know about her is from my son's birthmother. My birthmother wants my son with me, absolutely not with her. Do you not understand that my birthmother's 11 year old brother is still in the foster care system and his mother doesn't want him? If she wants a son, why doesn't she get her own son out of foster care? Because she doesn't want a son, she wants to be a control freak and make my son's birthmom's life hell.
2007-10-24 03:48:25 · update #6
first of all if the grandmother persists on the harassment...i would retain a restraining order. Second...it is soley the mother's choice to give this child up and no one can stop that except her. As soon as the mother signs the first paper she has given up her rights and there is nothing she can do. But I would recomend that you continue to have the open adoption. (for the birthmother's sake) It can be devistating to have to give a child up.
2007-10-23 11:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sandra G 2 · 4⤊ 3⤋
The grandmother really has no say in this situation. Once the birthmother has relinquished her rights as the child's parent there is no way to get her rights back. Since the adoption isn't finalized, the adoption agency has technical legal custody is my understanding (I am a birthmother and this was one of my worry points, what happens if for some reason the adopting parents are found unfit?) until it is finalized. James L. Gritter's The Spirit of Open Adoption is an excellent source for support, suggestions on how to handle such situations and others that arise as your child grows.
2007-10-23 22:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa F 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
As long as the birth mother's parental rights have been terminated, there is nothing she can do to block the adoption from being finalized, let alone the birth grandmother. As long as the birth mother is at least 18 which you said she is, then the birth grandmother has no legal rights to the child, no matter what her history is. As long as the birth mother has relinquished her rights, which I am assuming she did when the child was placed with you in the first place and the agency doesn't see a problem, then you should be fine. Hang in there for one more month! Doesn't the whole adoption process just feel like a roller-coaster sometimes?
2007-10-23 23:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Amy B 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If the laws in Texas are anyway similar to Florida, the maternal grandmother has no say in the adoption. It is only up to the birth parents. Once they (birth parents) have signed over their parental rights, that's it. She has no case considering her history. If the lawyers for both yourself and the birth mother have said that there is nothing the grandmother can do, I wouldn't worry about it.
2007-10-23 20:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by crazedchipmunk 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
hold on, something don't sound right. if the maternal grandmother has a shady back ground then the courts will find it out. all they have to do is dig. that's why we have social security numbers. and if she is such a criminal how can she afford a lawyer? somethings not right here. if the maternal grandmother is found fit, LET HER HAVE HER GRAND BABY. YOU ARE WRONG FOR WANTING TO KEEP THE CHILD AWAY FROM BLOOD FAMILY. IF YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY THEN GOD IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING.
2007-10-24 10:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
God love you.
How sad you have to go through this. Best wishes and congratulations all at one time.
I can't see how she can be a threat; an annoyance, sure...
Do you think she wants money?
You might consider that she possibly is rocking the boat in an effort to either extort you, or perhaps wants the child for some sort of personal, financial gain?
Is that too much of a conspiracy idea?
2007-10-23 22:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Elsie 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If you don't have a lawyer of your own, separate from the agency, HIRE ONE.
I doubt that grandmother has any standing, however, if it comes to a court battle, you might not either.
GET YOUR OWN LAWYER, one who specializes in this kind of law.
Hire one for your son's birthmother as well. Everyone is going to need representation.
good luck!
2007-10-23 16:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by mommy2squee 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I'm pretty sure there have been cases where the biological mom came back later and changed her mind and the baby was given back to her by the courts. I would THINK that the courts would have enough sense not to return the baby to the grandmother, but if she manages to push her daughter into fighting for it I don't know... especially if she gets proceedings started before your adoption is final My advice to you is to talk to you lawyer about all of this and document EVERYTHING - every phone call, every threat, every discussion with both the biological mother and the grandmother. Best of luck, hon.
2007-10-23 15:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by Stacie 3 · 2⤊ 5⤋
It sounds like empty threats. I think she's got the odds stacked against her if she wants your son, especially since his birth mother is not protesting the adoption by you. I think you should be fine but you may want to get the opionion of a lawyer in case something should happen. Since you have agreed to adopt the child verbally with the mother, in Texas that is enough! Good luck.
2007-10-23 15:50:56 · answer #9 · answered by Stina Lady 5 · 4⤊ 4⤋
I guess I would worry about the bio mother being easily infulienced. I hope she ins't though. I don't think the grandmother will have much influence on anything.
2007-10-24 00:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Kris 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋