I am 54 and recently separated from my husband. I'm, independent and I'm not looking for a meal ticket but I would like some kind of a steady relationship in the future ( not just platonic)
I have 'dipped my toes into the water' but find it difficult to know how to play it. I told the guy i thought he was amazing in bed.... and that I loved making love with him...I think he thought i wanted to marry him!!! I don't want to scare him off but I do want to tell him how good he makes me feel.... help?
2007-10-23 08:32:33 · 29 answers · asked by madlady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
jadore....... I have one guy in my life at the moment....don't read words that aren't written
2007-10-23 08:42:12 · update #1
Get yourself a copy of'Mars & Venus on a Date' by John Grey. perfect for new toe dippers. In the meantime praise only his bedroom technique. Anything else will have him running a mile - READ THE BOOK.
2007-10-23 08:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 55 and to my pleasure been separated for over 21 years, ultimately gaining a divorce in 1988. There is nothing wrong with telling a man how good he makes you feel. If he runs away from that, hopefully the next female will tell him what a jackass he is. Believe me, it won't feel very good.
Keep looking and be as discriminating as you like. And if you have to "play it', as in games, forget him. Most men just prefer the truth, politely told, as well as praise, if deserved. But praise for other things as well, besides sexual prowess. So at this age, you should not have to put up will a lot of tomfoolery.
Unless the jackass is looking for someone much younger than he is.
2007-10-23 15:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by Slick98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you two are on a date when it looks like the two of you will be compatible and that you might be lovers, say I am new at this dating thing and think I am going to enjoy it for a while. Eventually I would like a steady relationship, but I am not in a hurry to stop dating around. I might just enjoy the single life for a few years and then re assess my options.
2007-10-23 15:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't think that all men that age are like that.
Obviously, even though he is great in bed, his communication skills might not be very relationship-worthy.
Maybe you just need more time for him to understand what you mean when you say things.
In addition, if he doesn't know you well enough to understand what you mean, he obviously jumped into bed before the relationship was developed even a tiny bit.
You might have to skip this guy....
Best of luck to you. Lots of great guys in that age range available out there.
2007-10-23 15:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by gg 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all never ask people on the internet how to run your life. If you are not ready for marriage let him know. I know its scary when you start over again, but don't let fear rule you. Be open with him and let him know how you feel so he's not poking around in the dark and gets frustrated. Also, your fear probably is coming from emotional baggage from your recent separation so dont get your feet too "wet". Remember, good things come to those who wait.
2007-10-23 15:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by shewhosnameshallnotbespoken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do something with him that will connect you more on an emotional level, not physical. by opening your hearts to one another, you can tell him your situation. depending on how long you've been with your (ex) husband, you may just be seeking a body to be there for you right now, not a relationship. going right into a relationship after coming out of one is not going to be good in the long run-whoever you end up with may feel like a rebound person and may not stick around long
2007-10-23 15:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by cpiratesfreak14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Recently separated" is the same thing as "married." Get divorced. Don't date for awhile. Fall in love with YOU. Then you'll have something to offer someone else. Right now you're just trying to fix the wounds from your marriage. All you'll attract is the wrong kind of guy. You have to get to the point where you WANT to be with someone, you don't NEED to be. Good luck. You're worth it.
2007-10-23 15:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Diane S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest playing it up front and open. Let the men in your life know exactly what you want and don't be afraid to express yourself openly and honestly. At 54 you you don't want to be playing the games anymore. I would think the men you are dating would appreciate open and honest communication as well.
Besides if they don't do you really want them around anyway ?
2007-10-23 15:38:00 · answer #8 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somehow, I don't think your comments would have scared him off. Older guys and younger guys tend to have committment issues.
Maybe you should back off with the compliments too much. Pick up November's Cosmo and read on because it will give you some helpful pointers.
Be cool and slightly detached, but not too much.
2007-10-23 15:39:01 · answer #9 · answered by L M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that he makes you feel good, that should be enough for now. you dont need to throw out all your feelings at him all at once. Also, a great way to show someone how happy they are making you is to try to make them just as happy. You know if he gives you a random back massage, next time you give him one. If he takes you out to a great place to dinner, make him something fantastic as a surprise. Who knows? It might make him be the one that is blurting out too much! Just have fun with it! Good luck!
2007-10-23 15:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by Susan F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋