How do I thank these people?

Question

Okay, I'm not completely sure what etiquette is in this situation. And people's opinions might help me out greatly. This is so why I love Yahoo Answers!

Anyway, I know that we get gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen and parents and all that jazz. What about the people who do smaller things for us? My cousin's best friend, who is pretty much like a cousin, is cutting the cake. My 13 year old cousin is going to be standing by the guest book. My mom's best friend is making pew bows, my mom's friend is playing the piano during the ceremony, etc. etc. What should I do for these people? Would it best to get them a small present or a gift card or cash/check or just a simple thank you note? If it's a present, how much should I spend? And if it's cash or check, how much would be appropriate? I am full willing to do whatever, I'm just curious as to what everyone else has done or what I'm "supposed" to do. Thanks so much for the help!

Answer 1

It is always nice to thank those who help even if it a small thank you. I had my wedding in my aunts backyard and my cousin helped to clean up before hand, so I gave him a thank you card and twenty dollars and he was thrilled. He didn't expect anything at all.

A couple of years ago I sang at my cousins wedding. I didn't expect to receive anything more than a thank you card but she gave be a charm to be put on a necklace and wrote a little explantion of what the charm represented. I was very happy with that.

I wouldn't spend more than twenty dollars on little gifts but I would try to get something that the person would enjoy having.

Hope this helped!!!

Answer 2

I think people actually participating in the ceremony (such as the minister and pianist) should definitely receive a gift or tip in the range of $50-100. You can simply buy a pretty thank you card and put the cash in there. You'll want to get a crisp, new $50 or $100 bill from the bank before the wedding instead of stuffing old bills in a card.

For smaller roles such as cutting the cake and standing by the gift book, I would buy a small gift to say thank you and spend no more than around $25-30. The same goes for fringe help such as the lady helping with the bows.

Answer 3

Definitley a nice and personal thank you note, that would be the most important thing, I would think. Then maybe a small gift, be it a pretty flowering plant for mom's friends, that shouldnt break the budget and plants always go down well. Maybe get the 13 year old a pretty pair of earrings, if she has pierced ears. Again, dont break the budget, you can get some pretty silver studs for not much over $10-15. And the cousin's friend, I would just get something small and pretty. Go into a gift shop and get maybe a pretty note book or a diary or something similar. You dont need to spend big bucks on these people, you have enough expenses and it is just going to get out of hand if you give thank you gifts that are expensive to everyone that offers to help. I am sure they offered to help just out of the goodness of their hearts, not to recieve anything in return. I think they will be pleasantly suprised if you give them nice little token presents for their help.

Answer 4

I don't really know what's 'proper' in this sort of situation as I've never been married, but I played piano at a friend's wedding and I got paid to do it. If you want to get everyone a gift, I would suggest buying candles for them, and maybe decorating a gift bag and sending a thank you note. I don't think that any more than $20 per person should be spent, it's more of a genuine thank you than an 'oh my gosh, if it wasn't for you i'd be lost!' kind of thing. Another idea would be to make a CD out of the songs you played at the reception and copy it and send it to everyone. It's your call, something small is appropriate. Hope this helps! And congrats on getting married.

Answer 5

The cake cutter, the pianist and the bow maker (often the florist) are normally people you would be paying for their services. In your case, you are lucky enough to have friends and family to do these things for you. Because these are usually "paid for" services, you should definitely give them something. I think a gift card (maybe $25 to $50 value would be nice - enough to show your appreciation, yet small enough to still benefit from their generosity) included with a note of thanks would be appropriate. As for the cousin attending the guest book, just a note of thanks would be sufficient, but if you could also include a smaller gift card (maybe enough to cover a CD or other inexpensive item).

Answer 6

I would first do the thank you note, it comes from the heart and doesnt seem like an 'i had to this' kinda gift, and if you feel that is not enough, a small gift would do great, no more then $30. no cash though. Good Luck!
p.s.-mayb an outing all together after all the hard work is done.

Answer 7

Typically, if you are using a facility's musician(s), a cash token of appreciation is given to the artist. I would apply the same philosophy here.

As far as for the rest, a small token of appreciation, perhaps a candle, plant or inexpensive item along with a thank you card is acceptable.

I had several family members who chipped in and I purchased those tea cup roses from a local nursery and then wrapped a ribbon matching my wedding colors around them. It's been over 10 years and even though my marriage didn't last, several aunts and friends still have those teas cups roses going!

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 8

I would say that it would be best to get them a gift card to show your appreciation. Anywhere from $25-$40 would be acceptable. It just shows that you appreciate their part in your wedding.

For those who have a larger part you can get them gift certificates. For those who are doing things like pew bows maybe a basket of handmade cookies or muffins or a box of chocolates or cookies.

For everyone involved in your wedding you should right a nice thank you note.

Answer 9

Guest book attendant should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. A small gift would be nice, but not required.

Cake cutter.Thank you card

Pew bows. TY card and a gift/gift card with an equal/comparable value of the services rendered. If she insists that that is your wedding present, then just a TY card and an invitation for lunch or to the rehersal dinner.

Piano player. A gift card or gift of equal value of the services rendered, If she says that that's your weding present, then a TY card and an invitation to lunch or the rehearsal dinner.

Good luck and congratulations

Answer 10

First of all, I don't mean to sound rude, but there is not a respectable 50 year old on the planet who would be interested in a 16 year old girl who can't spell. And how is a 50 yr old even attractive to a 16 yr old? There has got to be a shortage of cute boys at your school to even be thinking such atrocities. Women out there: We obviously need to breed better looking kids. So find a good looking man out there and reproduce some cuties!