I'm nearing 30 years old and my heart feels in shambles. Everything I say seems to be just an excuse and I don't know how to fix things. I have no friends outside of two people whom I love dearly in my family... it seems I have given up most everything I cared about doing/cared about due to depression.
My abusive ex is now happily married with two kids and I cannot even keep a relationship together for longer than nine months. I may be pregnant (life threatening), but my boyfriend and I fight all the time about his new job (a girl causing problems for us there).
I almost died earlier this year and due to that + anxiety disorder and depression, I'm not working.
I have run out of money and can't take care of my bills... if I wasn't living with my mother, I'd most likely be in an institution or on the streets.
I have no idea how to get my life back on track. I'm afraid I'll end up hurting myself. How do people pull themselves back from the brink?
2007-10-23 08:25:50 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Lots of people pull themselves back from the brink.
You almost died earlier this year, and now you are alive! So live!
Lets pick apart your complaints.
Everything you say is just an excuse? Probably not. Sounds like you have some very real stuff going on.
You only have two friends and they're family? What's wrong with that? Most people don't have more than 3 or 4 close friends in a lifetime. So don't worry about the numbers - it's very high school. And you're actually friends with family? Some people don't even speak to their family! You're lucky!
And you can cultivate some other friends. But you might have to get through some things first. People aren't attracted to people who are depressed and anxious.
You have given up almost everything you cared about? Well, take something back up, then. Maybe not all of it, but pick one that gives you joy.
You abusive ex is happily married? Likely not. Abusive people are never happy. Quit idealizing his *great* relationship and worry about who he is abusing now. Remember that it isn't YOU anymore.
You might be pregnant? Congratulations! I'd love to be pregnant, and I don't think I ever will be again. In what way is it life threatening? If you are, you'd better get your poop in a group because you have somebody else relying on you.
Your boyfriend and you fight all the time about his new job? Do you trust him or not? If you don't, quit sleeping with him. If you do, then trust him. Make sure he's worthy of it. If somebody else hurt you, and you are taking it out on him, quit. It's not his fault.
You've run out of money? Get a job. Even your mother is probably tired of putting up with your sorry patoot. You'll feel better if you're productive anyway.
How do you put your life back on track?
Don't try to fix everything at once. Pick one thing you can fix, and just fix that one. Do that for one month. Then pick a second, and start working on that one.
Scared to try again? Welcome to the club. We've all been losers at one time or another and nobody ever got out of it by living caged by their fears. You don't have to fight all the monsters all the time, but you can pick one and kick it's butt.
Go to www.flylady.net and sign up to receive the e-mails. Do them. The positive messages will help you drag yourself out of the pit. Remember, you can do anything for 15 minutes.
People pull themselves back from the brink by doing it. Flylady says you clean your house by moving your arms and legs. Well, you put your life back together the same way.
I almost forgot. Take vitamin B complex. Exercise - even if it's only a 15 minute walk, and not some super duper workout that leaves you dripping and 10 lbs lighter. It isn't an all or nothing deal. If you take a 15 minute walk, it's still better than laying in front of the tv lamenting that you didn't jog 10 miles. And every day, accomplish at least one thing, and spend some time doing something that brings you joy.
2007-10-23 09:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be amazed at what you survive.
Been there. three tips:
1. find the happiness first.
2. eliminate thoughts that try to take you away from that happiness.
3. move from center. If they try to steal your center from you, then get rid of them.
2007-10-23 08:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to church. Accept Jesus into your life. Stop looking justification through people.
Get professional help. Most communities have free/sliding scale mental health services.
God Bless.
2007-10-23 08:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by Jeffrey P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋