After discovering that we are expecting, my fiance and I decided to scrap our previous wedding ideas and have either a civil ceremony or an "elopement" in Niagara Falls in January.
I still want to have a get together with the girls before, and a friend offered to plan a shower, but I don't really feel comfortable with a traditional shower, because I don't want my friends to think they should bring a gift when they won't be at the wedding ceremony, I'd also like to celebrate us expecting a baby and while I'm at it, consolidate my bachelorette party in there too (I am pretty busy, and just don't have time for lots of parties)
Would it be appropriate to invite my friends over for dinner and then surprise them by telling them its a bachelorette/pre-wedding/pre-baby party? I really want to stay away from "showers" because I don't want my friends to think they need to bring a gift, I just want to spend time with my friends before getting married..
2007-10-23 07:46:01 · 9 answers · asked by lovesapples 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think it's great idea as far as the wedding related parties.... but please consider doing a separate baby shower.
Lots of reasons why I suggest this.
This is your first baby? If so, you will want - and deserve - a separate celebration for that child. People gather to celebrate your new role as a mom and the new member of the family.
The baby shower is for the baby. You will be able to show the child pictures from the baby shower as part of his/her "story".
While you may not need/want gifts for the wedding, you will soon realize that you will spend a small fortune on baby stuff, especially in the beginning. Your friends and family will want to help you. Whether they bring new stuff or hand me downs.
So go ahead and have the pre-wedding, bachelorette party for you, just like you describe... but give the baby his/her own celebration too.
Don't let that child look back and see that they were just lumped into a combined party for your wedding.
2007-10-23 08:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think thats an excellent idea! Though tell the best friend--who was going to be your MOH so she is in on it. Though honestly since these people are your closest friends I'd keep it tradition. Let your MOH do it, call it a shower. After all, she isn't going to have any of her former duties. All she'll have is this one party. They are going to get you a gift anyway. They WANT to and nothing you can say will talk them out of it. Though you could put on the invite, Please no gifts.
My cousin doesn't drink and doesn't want a traditional bachelorette party. We are just having an all-girl slumber party. Stay up talking, telling stories, popping popcorn and watching chick flicks.
Another friend wants everyone to go on a getaway w/e. Have some fun. She is debating a beach w/e or a Vegas trip. Just girls hanging out without the guys.
This is a party about you--and if you aren't into strippers and drinking--then don't make it such. Talk to your MOH about your wishes. I think combining a wedding shower/baby shower/bachelorette party is a great idea. But...I still think people will want to get you gifts. After all, they are close friends!
2007-10-23 07:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't invite them over and surprise them, i think that's a bad idea. Do however invite them for a "game" night, plan both types of games those appropriate for a bachelorett party and a baby shower. You would be surprised how much fun you can have just playing games. You could also have a "slumber party' incorporating these things.
2007-10-23 07:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by L H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throwing yoruself a bachelorette party is in poor taste. I know that presents are not involved, but it's still not propper etiquette as those are parties traditionally trown by others. . People will offer you to throw you a shower or party one as a surprise if they would like, it's your friends prerrogative to do so because they care about you, but certanly as you pointed out, they are not obligated to.
I would have a engagement/pregnancy annoucement instead where gifts are not expected.
Good luck
2007-10-23 07:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make it very informal and do a "ladies night out", you can get creative with the invites and plan some fun for all of you!
Trust me, the friends want to bring you gifts, after all that is what friends are for. They want to support you and be there for you and if that means helping out let them. You have a lot on your plate right now, if someone offers, take them up on it! Enjoy
2007-10-23 07:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by heathermichelle9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good idea to surprise them with it. That way they will not feel compelled to bring gifts if they know ahead of time that they are coming.
You could also have a dinner party at a restaurant so that you don't have all of the mess and clean up and preparation work that is involved with having a party at your house.
2007-10-23 09:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by Wedding Planner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about a slumber party? Everyone can wear their pjs, eat pizza, popcorn, cake and other fun food, do facials/nails/hair, gossip, talk about boys, watch movies, etc. You could rent some old 80s movies like Dirty Dancing or the Breakfast Club! For this all you need to pay for is the food and movie rentals. You can decorate if you want but don't have to.
2016-05-25 04:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by bernice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is really sweet that you just want to spent time with your friends. Tell your bf who will plan the shower, im sure ur friends will be thrilled, and if they still want to bring you a gift they can do so later congrats and good luck, but most importantly have fun :)
2007-10-23 07:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, don't do it the way you describe. That would be just rude.
But there's nothing wrong with just inviting your friends over for a meal and a get-together, just don't give it a name.
2007-10-24 02:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋