I am looking for a good "punishment" for somebody. It is more of a consequence incase they do not change how they promised to change. They promised to answer questions and overall work on opening up. Any ideas would be appreciated.
2007-10-23 07:26:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well for all you people who think i am doing something wrong, i am the person looking for a punishment for myself. something that will help me to be able to follow through with opening up to the other person.
2007-10-23 08:25:24 · update #1
That doesn't call for punishment and that would only make the lack of communication worse. Some people are just more private about personal feelings than others, even in relationships. Some people are shy and have trouble opening and others are afraid of disapproval or ridicule if they do.
If it is hurting the relationship, then perhaps both of you need to consider counseling. Don't punish someone though for something like that.
2007-10-23 07:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by rumbler_12 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Gee, if you are that demanding then maybe that person shouldn't be with you. You sound too needy or you're nagging the person too much. Like one of those, I wondering what she/he is thinking, I wonder why she/he is doing that, I wonder if I should do that and then she/he'll open up... Gosh! I hate those type of people. No offense.
My boyfriend is like that. "Open up, Liss. Tell me what you are thinking." AUGHHH!!! All I could think is you should know and you should be more thoughtful. But that's a different drama.
That's just how the person is or that's how I am. I grew up on my own since 11. So, I really didn't talk to a lot of people and I don't trust a lot of people. That person is doing their best to trust you but if you keep nagging the person then, that person will think you are not a person who respect me so my opinions don't matter to you. At least, that's what I think when my boyfriend nags me to death. Just give them time and if you can't wait that long then leave the person. To me, you really don't care about them anyways if you're that annoyed.
2007-10-23 07:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't change because they promise to or for others. People change because they feel the need to. Someone is not going to change unless this person truly believes that they are doing wrong and that they want to do the right thing for themself. You have to get this person to believe that it is in their best interest to be more open and to communicate. You don't punish an adult, especially if this person is your significant other - that is childish and only makes matters worse. If indeed this is your significant other and you are not married to this person and they choose not to communicate with you then you move on.
2007-10-23 07:42:04 · answer #3 · answered by Camrygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Punishment? Is this person your partner or your child? If this person promise to change but doesn't or doesn't want to open up, it's probably b/c your treating them like a child instead of an adult. Talk to them about it, don't punish. You wouldn't like to be punish if the shoe was on the other foot and if you don't like where the relationship is heading...leave.
2007-10-23 07:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by bitterly_sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see if this is how it works---they better fly right and do what you want, or they will be "punished". The thing you want them to do is "open-up". Yep, I would definitely feel secure about opening up to someone who wants to punish me! Come to think of it, you sound like the kind of person who made me distance myself from people. Better to be alone than to be judged and found wanting.
2007-10-23 07:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have that person remind you anytime they think you are closing up. To practice opening up, I would make the effort to always talk to someone, where ever I am. In line somewhere, start chatting with the person in front of you. Start an online blog.
It will take a while, but I speak from experience, it can be done.
2007-10-23 07:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by laneydoll 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Mirror their behavior. Role play their behavior back to them. Hopefully they'll realize how frustrating it is to interact with someone who doesn't communicate openly.
But, I caution you...I find I'm like the person you are talking about. You need to do a little changing also. Try to be more understanding. Try to see and understand why they are not so free with their words, and why are they so private. Are they afraid of something? Afraid of reactions?
"We all do not have to agree. We should try to understand one another..."
2007-10-23 07:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by NAB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband does something he shouldn't have, nothing works better than having dish duty. A week of that really fixes the problem. And it can't be substituted for other duties around the house, it has to be in addition to them. Make sure they are not allowed to complain or ask for help.
2007-10-23 07:30:04 · answer #8 · answered by schatzi01 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you feel you need a punishment for this?
It sounds as though the person needs help not punishment in opening up, expressing their feelings, etc..
Perhaps you could be more supportive and they might gradually open up more.
I hope you find your answer.
2007-10-23 07:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ada D 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I hope I am reading your question correctly.....are you perhaps into BDSM? If this is the case....then there are many punnishments you could give him! Let me know if this is what you are looking for!!! I dont want to start talking about adult sexual issues if this is not the answer you are looking for :-)
2007-10-23 07:44:03 · answer #10 · answered by Amadore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋