The reason I'm asking a question is that my two older brothers( I'm the youngest) are ganging up on me, and telling me i need to drop everything and move home to take care of my mom. I would gladly do it, but I cant quit my job, i have bills, a family and I'm in the middle of a semester at college, and we just signed a lease for a year on a new apartment ( a week prior to diagnosis). I Love my mom, and have been driving the 60 miles either everyday or every other day, i also am in charge of all of her financial matters, paperwork, etc. I have already gotten my mom enrolled in a program to help with nursing and other needs while I'm away...and currently my mom is in the hospital. My oldest brother is by her side 24 hours a day, but he is unable to care 100% for him self, he is high functioning autistic. My brothers have called me an in great to the family because I'm not there all day long to care for my mother. Any ideas on how to deal with , the cancer, my brothers etc. would be great
2007-10-23 07:22:25 · 11 answers · asked by brandy 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
You need to get in touch with a Social Worker, and/or hire a part-time nurse. Best of luck.
2007-10-23 07:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know the answer to that question.
The people I know that have died from lung cancer didnt live past 6 months. So with that said.
Have you thought about hiring a care giver maybe 3 days a week to give your brothers a rest and you going on the week end for visits.
Your brothers are under alot of stress, maybe they could share the cost of the care giver or does your mom have any sisters or brothers that are willing to help?
2007-10-26 14:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by Grogan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Mum was diagnosed with kidney cancer in May this year. When it was found it had spread to her liver and lung. She past away sept 7. I did that, I drop everything!! My mum was my best friend and i would not have missed caring for her (but it was very hard) !! I lost my job, my relationship has nearly ended and my life is a misery... But my Mum is dead now and she was THE ONLY person that mattered to me in that point in time. It wasnt about me it was about her..I have no regrets i was with her all the time, almost 24 hours a day i couldnt have thought of anything worse than getting a nurse or putting her in palliative care. She was my Mum
2007-10-23 22:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brothers should help you in sharing responsbilities. You should not have all the pressure on you even if you are the youngest. I don't know whether they have jobs and/or families or not but they can make time to help you. They may be putting it all on you because you are in charge of her financial matters maybe because she trusts you more, I don't know. Have them help you. Talk to a counselor or a trusted friend; maybe, they can give you insight on how to handle everything. I have done similar things with my mom and husband have died the last five years. It can get pretty overwhelming and you feel like nobody appreciates your efforts when you make most of the decisions.
2007-10-23 07:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Pea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 Miles
2016-04-10 00:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot do it all. They are desperate and want you to take over for them. Call a social worker in a hospital to see what options there are. The American Cancer Society may also have someone to advise you. Don't quit your job. You have a family and a life and that isn't realistic. If worse came to worse, could your mom move closer to you?
2007-10-24 15:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, your brothers need to get a grip on reality. If you have a family (children and husband) your responsibility is to them first.
Second, you say that only one of your brothers is incapable of caring for you mother. What is the other one doing? Why can't he help?
Third, it sounds like you are doing a lot of work for your mother already.
In terms of dealing with this, you may have to stick up for yourself if you have no other family or friends to come to your defense. Do you have a pastor/minister that can counsel you and your family?
God bless. (Try listening to "Facing Your Giants" by Max Lucado.)
2007-10-23 07:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jeffrey P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I´m sorry about your mom, and also your situation, first you have to think of is your mother´s health, so I can recomend you to buy her transfer factor advance plus, that is proved and works in such as cancer sida and some others. Is a natural medicine and does have any secondary effects. hope is useful
2007-10-23 10:44:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am very sorry about your mother, all you can do is all you can do, sounds like you are doing that, explain to your siblings you cannot drop "your" life, you will do everything in your power to help, but you have a life to be lived also, please do not allow you brothers to shame or guilt you into being all of the caregiver, your brothers want you to drop everything for you to be the caregiver, tells me alittle bit about your brothers, have a talk with mom, explain the situation, you owe her what you can do, you owe your brothers what you can do, nothing more... god's speed to you and your family.
2007-10-23 07:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by Beverly W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number 1, your children and family must come first. Just do what you can, and do not allow your brothers to stress you out.
2007-10-23 09:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋