How do you approach some one with something you heard on their voice mail but they don't know you knew how to access their voice mail? So one your wrong for listing to the voice mail but what you heard may lead to other problems in the relationship.
2007-10-23 07:06:33 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would tell Alec Baldwin to stop leaving messages on that other person's voicemail.
Sorry, easy joke. In all seriousness, you are invading a personal boundary with your (boyfriend? friend?). Much like your cell phone and email are your personal boundaries, so are they for your significant other. I think this stands throughout a live-in relationship and a marriage. Unfortunately, I would just keep this to yourself until something very serious (and obvious) occurs in which whatever issue is at hand becomes unavoidable.
Best,
EtG
2007-10-23 07:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by edthegent 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You invaded this persons privacy. There is no way of letting them know that you heard something that you found upsetting, without disclosing that you accessed their voice mail. The fact that you did this shows that you do not trust this person. Where there is trust, people respect each others boundaries. You have definitely crossed this line. So as I see it, you now have two options: say nothing and wonder about the voice mail message and what (if anything) it meant; or say something and this person then knows that you invaded their privacy and will be likely very unhappy with you for having done so. If the voice message indicated that this person may be cheating on you, then this is definitely something you would want to ask about, but the fact that you felt the need to invade this person's privacy shows distrust on your part. If these two elements of the relationship are true, then chances are it's not a good relationship. A relationship like this one is not healthy. It is a recipe for failure.
2007-10-23 07:22:14 · answer #2 · answered by ceegt 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What these people did was arguably very rude, but Attorney General and News 8? I don't think so. In my opinion you should allow the other parties to finish the work, just don't allow the one who bad- mouthed you to come on your property, I agree with that. I don't think you are entitled to a full refund. I would try to negotiate a discount for the total job. But otherwise, let this go. I am quite sure the party who allowed that message to be left has been reprimanded and if it happens again, most likely they will be standing in the unemployment line. You have reported this to the boss and that's all you can do. If in the end you are unhappy with the total job, you should definitely still report it to the Better Business Bureau and maybe tell your friends and family so they don't employ this company. Other than that, you need to let this go and next time, maybe get a few references before you hire a contractor, because you really don't need this kind of aggravation when you are spending rather a lot of your hard earned money.
2016-05-25 04:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure that you give us sufficient information to respond to your question.
You admit you were wrong for listening, but were you listening because there were already trust issues and you were desperately searching for some answers......or were you listening because you were bored or just plain nosy? (Which I sort of doubt....I tend to think the trust issue were already in place.) Were you listending to help them, or try and protect yourself? Not knowing the circumstance that prompted you to do something you freely admit was wrong, OR whatever it was you heard that was upsetting to you, makes it extremely hard to answer your question.
So I'll have to answer your question with a question: If you confront this person and tell them what you overheard (but hopefully you don't have to admit to the source), what do you hope to accomplish? More importantly - what will be accomplished? Will they react in anger, be uncontrollable, violent, resentful, bitter....or will they appreciate your intervention?
If there are serious trust issues between the two of you, the quite honestly what you overheard is probably not the real matter at hand. If you can't trust that person - and they have now proven they can't be trusted, then there seems to be little point in continuing the relationship. Whether you're involved as friends or romantically - any relationship not founded on trust is doomed to fail, and to be horribly miserable until it does.
It sounds like you need to resolve whether this relationship is worth continuing or not....and it sounds like if you opt to continue in it, that you need to stop "snooping" and start trusting.
2007-10-23 07:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell the truth. If you were suspicious enough to learn how to check the voice mail, there had to be some signs that lead you to do this. Explain that you've have felt something to be wrong and what lead you to feel that way then explain that your not proud of your self for breaking privacy but what you suspected proved to be true and its time to get everything out on the table and discuss it.
2007-10-23 07:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by misbotta 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not hide it. Secrets always come around like carma. Be honest and say hey I heard this voice mail on accident not meaning to and I think that we should talk about it. Tell them how you feal it could end up causing more problems if you leave it unsaid. I am firm on honesty. You shouldn't hide anything from anyone...it only leads to more drama in the end. Just be honest and say what you have to say.
2007-10-23 07:11:15 · answer #6 · answered by lulu 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is what you heard on the voice mail going to hurt your relationship with this person more than the violation of privacy by you listening to their voice mail with out permission ?
Is whats on the voice mail true or lies ?
I guess these are things you need to weigh out. With out more details as to what was on the message etc its hard to say
2007-10-23 07:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oops! That's what happens when you snoop!! Now you have more problems. How to handle the trust issue later might be a bigger issue than the issue at stake on the voice mail. Maybe. I don't know what you heard. That might be a bigger issue. Better to fess up to what you did and go from there. If you did this to me I would never be able to trust you again. That's just me though. Good luck to you.
2007-10-23 07:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends on what you heard. If it was something significant that might damage your relationship, then you just tell them. The relationship is already in danger, so what difference does it make if they get mad about you listening to their messages? If what upset you is not really that big a deal, then you just let it go and ignore it. Be careful you are not making a mountain out of a molehill... but if the mountain is there, you can't ignore it.
2007-10-23 07:10:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate. I used to go through my boyfriend's cell to find things. Once I found a text that really ticked me off. I just told him that I was feeling insecure(true) and spied on him(true), that I had seen this text and would he care to expain it. Just be honest. There is no reason to be a liar-EVER!! If you two have trust issues, you may just need to move on. I think that is what I need to do. It just takes courage to initiate a breakup, even when your 28 years old!! I think people spend so much time trying to heal a relationship that is doomed from the loss of trust. Lets work on ourselves for a change and be happy without the need for a relationship. Scary.
2007-10-23 07:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by hair princess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋