between seperate households/parents? What do you do if the parent keeps doing it?
2007-10-23 07:00:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can answer this question from plenty of experience. My parents got a divorce when I was about 13 and I got to play personal messenger for the both of them. No matter what it was, it was carried out through me. It wore me down plenty, and one day I just snapped and flipped out on my dad. I wish it didn't have to come out that way, but by doing that, it salvaged the situation so it didn't get passed on to my little sis.
2007-10-23 07:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Matt B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if a parent does this once in a while, it's ok. but if it's all of the time, it's not really fair to the child, because he is being put in the middle between you and the other parent.
You can let the other parent know, by phone or in person, that you'd like to receive the messages from him. You can always tell the other parent that the child sometimes isn't clear, and if you were to talk to each other, it might be easier and better understood.
If the other parent doesn't let YOU know, then ignore the messages give through the child?
2007-10-23 07:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very damaging and the children resent the people later on , once they have grown up and realized what the people were doing to them.
I would have a sit down with everyone involved and tell them they are not doing any good to their children by doing this. Also, I would tell them to go to family counselling as there is probably a deeper issue involved and this could help everyone involved. (The counselling will not get them back together, it will be used as a tool to bring up their children better and for better communication)
2007-10-23 08:09:43 · answer #3 · answered by glama_girl_4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure how damaging it is, except that it certainly puts a lot of undue stress on the kids, as well as causing them to lose respect for the parents.
If you have something to say, pick up the phone and SAY IT or email it, or whatever. Since when did kids become Western Union?
2007-10-23 07:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's particularly damaging to the children themselves, but it is certainly an immature, passive aggressive tactic undertaken by people too cowardly to deliver their own messages.
Convince the child to not relay any of the messages to you. The kid will then tell the other household that their ploy isn't working, and that might be enough to get them to act like adults and convey their own messages.
2007-10-23 07:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by damlovash 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs to talk to the parents about it...the child should not be used as a messenger. If you are the child, then refuse to deliver the message at all. If you are someone who is watching this happen, then talk to one or both of the parents about it.
2007-10-23 07:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Extremely damaging....
CHildren should not be used and abused like that. If the parent keeps doing it, someone needs to talk to the parent, like a clergyman, a friend, a relative, a guidance counselor,
another adult.
Good luck
2007-10-23 07:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by tone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell them its not healthy or fair on their children. That should never happen, the poor child!
2007-10-23 07:07:47 · answer #8 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋