Does this guy have feelings for me or am I wasting my time?

Question

Ive had this guy friend for over a yr..we met in school and I moved to another state but we've kept in contact. Recently I visited him and we kissed but never talked about our feelings (as I had to head back home). Then he contacted me and I invited him to visit me. He said he'd love to once he gets some free time (he's a huge school load). Last conversation he asked how long I'm going to be around (as i'm thinking of travelling). Told him at least a few mths so he said maybe at next vacation he will visit but he's thinking of going to his parents instead (who live in another country). I told him I wont invite him again. This is wrecking my head. I know family is important but I feel I'm wasting my time. What do you think? Also, I'm the one who is now saying 'hi' on chat. Maybe its that its so long distance its difficult. Please help me? ps we get on really well. Guys in particular what do you think?

Answer 1

Long distance is extremely difficult, you're right. You're just friends, right? (Kissing does not automatically make it more than that.) Could be he just sees you as a friend.

I wouldn't get upset that he apparently chose his family over you; that's a little immature, even though I understand where you're coming from and why you're frustrated. In that situation, I probably would have chosen my family as well because 1) they live in another country and I love to travel, 2) they can help pay for my trip there and back, 3) they don't expect anything from me and I can just kick back and relax, and 4) you two are just friends.

He might not be that into you, but it'll be a lot easier if you just ask him. Since you can't do it in person, do it over the phone; online is too easy to misinterpret what's being said. Ask him how he feels about you and where he sees the relationship heading. Scary for both of you, I know, but why waste time on something if he'll never see you as more than a friend? Make sure he knows that you like him and want something more out of the relationship - but realize that LDRs are very, very difficult and usually don't work out. Be careful, be honest, and keep communicating.