20 / Female -- Parents seem completely uninterested in our lives.?

Question

Has anyone else experienced this?
Most parents I come across show an immense interest in the lives of their kids, from what they're studying in school, to where they're working, who they're dating, etc.
My parents seem to show absolutely no interest in our lives. It was as though they were completely oblivious to the fact that, surprise surprise, kids grow up, and we won't always just want to play catch in the backyard.
It goes further than that though. They're downright dead-weights. My brother is marrying into an Italian family next year, and the first thing out of my mother's mouth was a complaint about the location -- barely any congratulations!
Anyone else struggle with parents who seem inconvenienced to have children? Both of them make great money. Additionally, they haven't put any money aside for our weddings, educations, etc.
I'm independent and can manage on my own two feet, but it's simply about the fact that they don't seem to really care. It's a HASSLE for them.

Answer 1

My parents are the type of people who believe they raise their kids until they are 18 and leave them. I went through my wedding, my schooling and a miscarriage and births of my two kids among other life events without them. I haven't seen my mom in years and she's a grandma. Funny thing is she dotes on the youngest of her three. We are just cr@p in her opinion.

Answer 2

I can feel your pain, although we are adults, I think that we are always children too. because that's what were used to being. My Mom is the same way she has 6 of us and never offers advice, and forgets my birthday and oh lets see what else... I have been in counseling for years because of this... I have finally came to realize that we can't choose what our parents are but we can choose who to look at as a parent. I seem to find a great deal of women I work with have more motherly feelings toward me that my own mom does. So I have learned through lots of tears to let go and stop hurting myself by expecting her to be this great person and continually being let down... I hope you find a way to cope with your family, cause you deserve better.

Answer 3

Yeah, my dad has never been a warm person in the first place. He helped my mom barely raise my brother and I, and then moved on. I call him every few months, and if I didn't he would never call me. He only lives 10 miles away.

Last year, he drove from Ohio all the way to Florida to go to a resort. My brother lives in Florida now. My dad drove right by his house to get there (literally) and didn't even think to call to let him know he was in the state. My brother was crushed.

We both want his love, we both need him to care, but it doesn't seem to be in his nature. I know how you feel.

Answer 4

My grandma can be like this too...I call her an emotional vampire, such can drain all emotions (except despair and anguish) right out of you. I would definately talk to your parents about your concerns, maybe they don't realize that they are hurting you by being emotionally constipated. If after the talk and they don't change, then maybe you should (do what I do with my grandma) love them from afar.

Family-code word for a bunch of related strangers
Friends-code word for non related family you created...wishing that you could've been born into.

Answer 5

Very sorry to hearken to that. some human beings get great mum and dad, others regrettably do no longer. you're able to experience such as you could stand on your guy or woman 2 ft yet that form of emotional overlook could make it very complicated so which you would be able to construct some good and wholesome self esteem. detect a relative or older kin buddy that provides you greater balanced emotional help and concentration on people who're useful for you on your existence. it could be problematic to hearken to yet once you ultimately do no longer permit bypass of the harm the shortcoming of being concerned motives you're able to spend some years attempting to choose why and in particularly some discomfort. there is no actual answer you may get which will clarify their behaviour. upward thrust above it as quickly as you're able to on your existence and concentration on being the suitable sister, buddy and robust guy or woman you already are.

Answer 6

I really don't have a whole lot of advice to offer. I'm sorry you have to deal with this though. It has to be tough. Have you tried talking to them about how you are feeling about it? Ask if you have done anything to disappoint them? The only thing I can say is that SOMEday they will be older and they will need YOU. At that point, you can decide how you want to handle that.

Answer 7

well, people are different. Your parents are not interested - it's not very pleasant for you, but, on the other hand, you are an adult, and should have your own life. They should give you an education, and then you do whatever. I do not see why they must pay for your weddings and so on. I mean, some people do it, but it's not a must.

Answer 8

OK your 20 why do you care if they are uninterested most people want their parents to get off their backs and they do not have to put money aside for your weddings or even education if they don't want too you claim to be independent so why do you need their money or input anyway

Answer 9

My grandma was like this (fortunately I have a great mom). My grandma was always negative and didn't seem to even try to help (she was poor but she was a good cook and could offer her help in other ways). Maybe sit down with your parents and explain them to this. If they are used to be "sour" they might not realize how much they are doing it. Good luck!