Hi, i'm Billie.
I am using this emai because i honestly don't have one.
I have a serious problem
My father has been having some serious issues as of lately.
He won't let me go anywhere or talk to anyone outside of school.
((which is where i am now))
i'm 17 i think i should at least have some freedom!!
He even took my car away.
Could this be because i'm getting closer to the age in which i'll be leaving home?
2007-10-23 06:27:38 · 28 answers · asked by Mercedes M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
one thing first i am a guy no cleavage.
two, i go to a private school, honor student, so i drove the car into a wall ok
but that was 6 months ago!
2007-10-23 10:02:56 · update #1
why don't you just ask your dad?
2007-10-23 06:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by 123456789 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK I'll take a stab at this.
In order to gain more freedom, you first have to show that you can handle it. Here are some ways you can show your parents that you're not a little boy any more.
Make the best grades you can. Study hard. If you need a tutor ask for one.
Do your chores without being asked.
Offer to help around the house - even if it's a job you don't like to do - like taking out the trash or cleaning the basement.
Be respectful of your parents' rules - even though they may seem stupid, foolish or otherwise restricting.
Make the kind of friends your parents would like - you know the kind, respectful, polite, kind, gentle, - just like you are.
Introduce your friends to your parents. They are the kind of kids your parents would approve of, aren't they (see above)
When you do go out with your friends, be sure to tell your parents where you're going, what you'll be doing, and when you expect to get home.
Respect your curfew - if your curfew is 30 minutes away and you see that you're going to be late getting home - call your folks right away. Even if you're only going to be 5 minutes late - call and let your folks know.
Join a club that interests you - history, chess, choir, sports etc. that will get you out of the house - with approval.
Get a part-time after school job - again out of the house, money in your pocket, parental approval - oh, but GRADES come first.
Things NOT to do -
Whine
Argue
Complain
Act out
These will only make your parents' resolve more steadfast.
Good luck. We're pulling for you
2007-10-23 13:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't say if there's been any other changes, such as in or with you? If he feels you are rebelling, he'll pull the reins tighter to stop you, or if your relationship between the two of you has changed, then that could account for it!
If you can honestly say you've not done anything to provoke this, such as hanging around with people he doesn't want you to, then it could be that, but if not, then he really does have a problem!
He could be worrying about you for a variety of reasons, but he could also have something else on his mind and is indirectly taking it out on you. This can be the case for many reasons, such as say, reading in the paper about a girl of your age that's been attacked, etc. All caring parents really feel for the parents and child, and want to make sure it doesn't happen to their children!
The best thing you can do is talk to your father and try to get to the bottom of it in a mature, sensible way. That will also help, because he will then see that you are mature and sensible and be more likely to be more lenient with you!
Good luck!
2007-10-23 14:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by Watsit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be more to it than that. Did you do something that caused his trust in you to suddenly cease? If so, you'll need to build that trust back up.
If not, then you need to have a calm talk with him and ask him why the sudden change? Ask him what his concerns are.
Ultimately, you will have "freedom" when you can take care of yourself. Until then, you will have to work out how to live within his rules.
2007-10-23 13:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by tonyend2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like is more to this than your age. How are your grades? Did you get caught:
drinking?
lying?
cheating?
sneaking in/out?
come home late? past curfew?
damage the car?
show too little respect?
Examine the last few weeks and look hard at yourself for the anser.
Then, ask your dad to sit down and talk with you because you know something is wrong and you want toresolve it. Parents have lots of outside stress in addition to their children.
If none of this works, go talk to your pastor (if you go to church) and ask for his assistance or the school guidance counselor.
Good luck
2007-10-23 13:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by tone 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are not on punishment? You didn't do anything to be grounded did you?
Ask your dad, but not in an accusing way. Don't go at him sounding defensive & whiny. Ask him if there is a reason why he took everything away. You may just have to deal with it for a while.
2007-10-23 13:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just doesn't wont you to start smoking, drinking or get in bad circle.... My parent did that too and I'm smoking and drinking every Saturday now for 3 years (I'm only 16)... But that is normal in our country.. I don't know where are you from.... I hope you will solve your problems... Sometimes helps just talking with that person.....
2007-10-23 13:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there could be many reasons for him acting this way. it is very possible that he is scared of losing you. but it could be other things as well. maybe something that you did, that you did realize. but your best bet is to sit down and talk with your father. you could both get things off your chest that have been bothering. it could be that he doesn't realize how overprotective he is being. you just need to ask. and please don't scream at him, that won't do any good.
2007-10-23 13:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound healthy. He could be suffering from mental illness of some sort. Can you talk to a teacher or trusted adult? Please let someone know about the situation..email me if you'd like to talk more.
If you're in crisis, please call
1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454).
You can talk to someone by email also at jo@samaritans.org (they set up counseling via email)
800-4-A-CHILD (help for anyone under 18)
1-800-25-ABUSE
800-999-9999 (covenant house crisis line for teens)
2007-10-23 13:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lynn A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly do you have a school councilor or another adult that your trust, if so talk to them immediately. i'm sorry to say it but you wont get the help you desperately need on here.
sounds like you father is being boarderline abusive and needs to seek professional help
all the best with this hun
2007-10-23 13:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by TONY D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not enough info to respond. You think losing your car is a Serious problem? Maybe to you . Maybe your dad has really SERIOUS problems, that you don't understand. Is it possible that he is trying to protect you from something? Have you tried to speak to him? Are you generally a good kid? Is something is going on in his life that ultimately affects yours? Are you boy crazy? Are you failing school?
More info please.
2007-10-23 13:34:33 · answer #11 · answered by Lissie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋