I have been with my fiance for 2 in a half years and we got engaged this last march and we are planning to get married april next year... my parents were happy at first.. then all the sudden they changed their mind and wanted us to wait.. and now less then 6 months left to go she is wanting us to wait until 2009... just to make sure this is really what we want... and now she is telling me they wont go unless its in 2009.. and starting a whole bunch of stuff, i kind of feel like its my choice and she should stand behind me in whatever choice i make...am i wrong for feeling this way??
2007-10-23 06:00:49 · 12 answers · asked by Kaley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not sure why your parents have a problem with your engagement now. You have been together for quite awhile now and if they had any misgiving with your fiancee, at any time, they should have told you then, not now. You should ask them why the sudden change of heart and hear their side of it. They may have a valid point and you should listen and decide for yourself if what they are saying should be addressed
Marriage is a big step, don't rush into it only because your in love. If you have any uneasy feelings about marrying this person by all means wait. Marriage can be wonderful but it can also be hell, make sure your mind, body and soul are on board.
After that I'd simply state to them that you have made the decision, have set the date and if they are too busy to attend then that is up to them.
Unless they are footing the bill, I'd continue with the plan and hope they will realize your decision is not up for debate.
2007-10-23 06:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is only looking out for you. She wants you to be sure this is exactly what you want.
She is being a little unreasonable by saying she won't attend.
Explain that getting married is really what you want and explain how much you care for your fiance.
If that doesn't work try and compromise with her by maybe changing the date of the wedding to a bit later next year.
I'm sure she's not trying to control your life she just wants you to make the best possible choice.
If you have a long talk with both your mum and dad and make it clear that you will be getting married and that you are certain it is the right choice.
I'm sure everything will work out and they will attend no matter what. No mother wants to miss their daughters big day. It's the only day she can make the biggest fuss possible. :)
Congratulations anyway for your engagement xx
2007-10-23 06:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is entirely your choice. Your mom is being silly.
Inform your mother that:
1. Given that you have been living with your fiance for 2 years, you are already considered common-law married in most states.
2. The wedding does not have to be expensive... just legal.
3. The official proof of marriage gives you rights, protections and benefits that common law marriage does NOT give. You need to be his beneficiary and have his power of attorney in case of emergencies. If he gets in a major accident and is stuck in a vegetative state, the common-law wife cannot yank the plug to release him AND would still wind up with all the hospital bills.
4. Divorces are cheap... around $300... and you are entitled to 1/2 of all community property accrued during the marriage.
2007-10-23 06:21:20 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents just want you happy. But no matter what you think and decide they should stand by you all the way. Once the wedding day is over they will turn around eventually. Some take longer than others. Do what you want to do, not what your parents want. Considering their thoughts is one thing but you making the final thought is what matters.
2007-10-23 06:09:08 · answer #4 · answered by runner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they should support you, they can not tell you what you feel inside and if they feel you are making a mistake they need to let you make it. I had this problem to and my life has been great because they will eventually come around. they should love you and should support you in anything you do, but sometimes is just takes a while. Stop and think for a minute, do you really want to be with him for ever? do you love him? if yes then go for it because he is going to be there with YOU for the rest of your life your parents are not.
hope i helped....
2007-10-23 06:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for feeling that way, however your parents also feel that you should be standing behind THEM. It's controversial, really. And depending on how much you rely on them today should be your judgement. Talk it out with your fiance.
2007-10-23 06:05:36 · answer #6 · answered by pertinential 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong, unless your parents are having financial problems or are in a bind and are paying for the wedding..... ask them about it.
If that's not a problem, then do what you will.
congratulations
2007-10-23 06:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I dont think it is wrong but I wish I would have lisne to my parents when thay told me to wate. I would havent when through as much as I did . My God be with you
2007-10-23 07:22:28 · answer #8 · answered by kwool73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not wrong. but you parents are probably scared that you are getting married. but once you guys get married, it wont matter. they will be happy that you are married to someone who makes you happy.
2007-10-23 06:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have courted long enough and you are old enough..... Take the big step and gitter done... Good luck and God bless Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-23 06:09:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋