I notice in her school progress report, her grades have dropped. Need some parent help on something that worked for you.
2007-10-23 05:50:45 · 28 answers · asked by MOs fishin 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Depends on her age. Be watchful of what she views on TV and time spent online - Become the hang out house, worked for me- a bunch of extra effort, but you know where they are at all times. We made the family room, the after school, homework, snack, hangout room..The other kids appreciate it too.
Talk-Talk-Talk...and then show by example...kids dont do what we tell them---they do what they see us do
My Husband actually lived by this -- lol --
"10 rules for dating my little girl"
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
2007-10-23 06:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by L 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? Its not likely that you will be able to get her attention away from boys - not if she's a teen. You can outline rules for dating, but you can't change the way she feels.
You can help her improve her grades, though. Tell her you're worried about her grades and ask if there's anything you can do to help. Set specific homework times when she has to do her school work. Every day ask her what homework she has and have her tell you about her assignments. You don't have to look over her shoulder or check her work, but it will keep you more in the loop if you know what she's up to. Tell her her you don't expect perfection, but you want her to do her best.
If you want, you can impose consequences if her grades don't improve, but if she really is trying hard that might just stress her out or make her feel stupid. Its better to just be involved and supportive.
2007-10-23 06:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by Brandi C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to my advice! I have been there and done that. My daughter tied herself up around 1 guy from the time she was 12 years old until she married him at age 17. She refused to see other boys...and I could not do anything to convince her otherwise. She would not have anything to do with anyone but the guy she was with. Well..she married him at the age of 17 and she is now 28 with 5 kids, and separated from her husband. Do whatever you have to do to stop whatever seems wrong or not right to you. Don't even question it. I was too lax in how I handled things. I thought I was doing ok..but I have since found out I didn't do so well at all. PLEASE do not let her tie her whole life up over one or more boys. She must understand that life has so much more to offer than boys. Boys can come later when she has gone through school and college and has become what she wants to be in life. I will pray that she doesn't screw up her life like my daughter did and the lives of 5 kids. Do what feels right to you. Your instincts will guide you. She will be fine if you follow your instincts and put your foot down! She will love you for it later and thank you for keeping her from screwing up her life. Do not question yourself on your decisions. Good luck. I wish the best for you both.
2007-10-23 06:09:42 · answer #3 · answered by SeaMistress 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old your daughter is. Attention to boys is a normal part of growing up. Denying her this natural instinctive behavior will cause her to rebel and do what she wants to do behind your back. It's up to you to recognize this and allow her some privileges within boundaries. You must let her know that you understand this is a normal part of her growing up. Tell her if she likes a boy that you want to meet him and they can go out with a chaperon (depends on her age). Also she should be warned that this should not interfere with her grades, if so you would have to take away her privileges. Share this phase of your daughter's life with her. Enjoy it with her and don't make it into something taboo. It's a healthy part of growing up. Click my website below to learn more.
2007-10-23 06:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck dad! This is near impossible. And the worst thing you can do is force her to suppress it. My parents used to hit me and my sister for even LOOKING at boys or liking them. We had to supress those feelings. I began to rebel very badly and soon after I left the house (to go into foster care), lost my virginity within a month or two and was a bit promiscous for a bit. My sister grew up to be a stripper and has 3 kids with 3 guys(and has had 5 abortions). So please take my advice and suck it up, dont bear down on her too hard but dont let her get out of control either!
2007-10-23 06:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by t 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you find the answer to this one, they should write a book!
i dont have kids but I have nieces and all i know is the more you try to keep them from boys the more interested they become.
it is natural but the grades droppin is a problem.
talk to her about some kind of reward for good grades. some don't agree with this but it worked for me when i was in school. i made very good grades but also knew if i made bad grades there was a price to pay.
but again, i dont have children so perhaps i am not qualified to answer this.
2007-10-23 07:20:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you.I am not experiencing it with my daughters yet but son is going through it now.I have become less important in his life and the young ladies are taking my place.I had a hard time with it at first but relaxed and had to accept that he was growing up.All I can do is try to give him the information he needs to make good decisions for himself,set clear rules and punishments,love him unconditionally and leave the door open for him to talk to me..I pray often that I have instilled enough in him to respect himself enough to do the right thing.
2007-10-23 15:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start taking away some of her freedoms...cut the calls from boys, is she dating?? Put that on hold too until she can prove she can keep her grades up and have an interest in boys. She needs to understand her GRADES will get her thru school and college---not a boy giving her a good look!
2007-10-23 06:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by brooklyn7582 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Be sure to instill a sense of self esteem in her so she doesnt feel that she HAS to have a boys attention to feel good about herself. When you figure out how to do that, let me know, I got a 1 and 3 year old girls--blonde hair, blue eyes and stubborn as mules already.
2007-10-23 06:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by Valkyrie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put her on notice at home she's not to go out on school night, when she has homework no phone calls till it's finished. School work comes 1st everything else 2nd. if she has a cell phone take it away till grades inprove or going out. you have to take something away from them that really means a great deal to them. they have to remember responsibilites and the consiquences of things if something happens.
2007-10-23 06:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by jennajade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING ON EARTH THAT WONT SEVERELY MESS HER UP.
Sorry hormones control interest in boys. the need will out rank anything and if you attemtp to supress it ...
lets see councelling for years, annorexia, cutting helf, suicide attempts, becoming a violent member of a religious cult.
What you need to do is help her find a balance between friends, work and boys.
Ie she gets good grades you help her with boys... or get boys to help her stdy... onlybthis workd better the other way around.
Also... in uni lots of fit boys with the loosers left behind...
no study no uni boys with uni parties with lots of boys...
And no parents.
She dont study has to stay with mom and dad who will mess with her love life.
She goes to uni... no parents... boys can stay over any time and do anything she wants.
Likewise if she gets good grades she has to dress dorky and restricted. she gets good grades mum will pay for the mini skirt and boy attracting skimpy top.
ie use her hormones against her
2007-10-23 10:17:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋