My bf and i have been together for almost 5 yrs his mother sends him nasty emails about my mother and my family..shes american/ white and shes has a very closed mind..im cambodian so with that my mother is very into her dreams meaning things blah blah my bfs mother thinks my mom is wierd because she doesnt do or think the way that my bfs mom does..she says in her emails that my mom is wierd and negleted us as kids!..yeah that really pissed me off because my bf (justin) was basically raised by his father untill he left and now shes in the picture so wtf is she talking about? what should i say to her or do about it? shes always down'ing my family..? it really upsets me
2007-10-23 05:44:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
his dad left about 4 yrs ago
2007-10-23 05:45:12 · update #1
Hello, my name is Onist. First, I would like to say that you're strong for being able to put up with this so far. If this continues it could break not only your relationship but your self worth.
It's very important that you talk with your bf but also make sure you'll have an understanding. Both or you just your bf needs to tell is mother that these action are unacceptable and it must stop....(no other option it must stop!!!!)
Read foundation of love and love is shared agony at http://www.onistsense.com this will allow you and your bf to develop an understanding of how you'll need to approach this together. If you don't have your bf's full support then you have an escalating problem.
Good Luck!!!!!
2007-10-23 05:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by onist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your boyfriend say and feel about this? He's the one getting the emails and this is HIS mother so he should be the one dealing with this.
You two should sit down and talk about how you both want to handle this. Personally I think I'd ask him to inform his mom that he's not reading anymore of the negative emails and that as soon as he sees anything bad about your family he's erasing them. And then have him do just that. Maybe send back a note every time saying that he got the email but he's not listening.
Then just leave it alone. If his mom is capable of change she may come around. But in the long run all she needs to know is that your boyfriend loves you and you love him and neither of you is going to listen to the other ones family being put down. But then you have to mean that and not put his mom down either. Rise above her pettiness.
2007-10-23 13:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your BF needs to tell her to pipe down and respect his woman (you) or simply get out of his life. The fact that his dad had to rear him says a lot about her stability when the courts tend to favor the mothers keeping custody. She sounds like a psycho.
This is about boundaries. Your BF needs to stand up for you... is he doesn't, you need to resign yourself to having this escalate further after you marry him. If you do not intend to get married, I would say that "living together" is not saving you any trouble, and actually presents a series of legal liabilities... you might as well get the piece of paper.
Be prepared to block her e-mails and phone calls, have your phone numbers removed from publication, and perhaps even file a restraining order.
2007-10-23 13:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will not change so you have to accept her and just avoid her as much as possible but I do feel your bf should talk to her and defend you, after all he is your bf and she is his mother he is the only one who can really address the situation. She will end up old and alone if she keeps this up.
When you have to be with her or talk to her just be friendly and polite and when she gets rude just say you have to go and hang up. Best to live as far away aas possible!
2007-10-23 12:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know what she emails her son? Do you read his emails or is he sharing it with you? If he is sharing it with you. I hate to say it but your man is not to bright. Rather then him cause more problems he might want to put a stop to his mother bad mouthing you and your family. You have no control what comes out of her mouth. What you see now is the tip of the ice burg unless your soon to be husband lets his mother know that she needs to stop and he is not interested in hearing her bad mouth you or your family.
Know this, no matter what you say or do will go in one ear and out the other. It needs to come from her son.
2007-10-23 15:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell you bf. He needs to stand up to mom and protect you. IF he has no backbone for that, it sad to say he never will for anyone else that speaks bad about you.
Kind of weird how a guy raised by his dad has no spine.
2007-10-23 14:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by Jdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to talk to his mother and let her know how it effects you. If he is going to be with you for the rest of your life, he needs to take care of it now. Because it will cause problems for the rest of your relationship. she has no right to judge any body till she walked in their shoes. If he dose talk to her and nothing changes then you try. If nothing still changes i would deal with it hate best i could if you still want to be with him. Good luck. I hope all works out.
2007-10-23 12:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that close mindedness is a sign of low intelligence and lack of education.
Or better yet, have your BF tell her.
2007-10-23 12:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Fancy That 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her your with her son and if he dosent mind your moms culture ,whats it to her .She raised her children hands on so what does absentee mom have to gripe about?
2007-10-23 13:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by oatesmokid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your bf needs to tell her to shut up.
2007-10-23 12:51:15 · answer #10 · answered by blakesgal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋