Why do people say we are less polite today than we used to be?

Question

In my opinion, people are generally respectful of other people in public, even strangers. Why do people think we are so rude today? Is it because not everyone knows which is the salad fork? or.. are we actually more rude?

There are a lot of us and we have to deal with interacting with strangers on a daily basis. But how many are assuming someone is rude just because they didn't hold the door for you? Maybe they interact with so many strangers a day, there isn't time to nod at every person and hold every door. Maybe to them, being polite is leaving you to your person space. Isn't just as rude to assume everyone all the time should maintain a high level of awareness of everyone else around them?

I don't think people should go around slamming doors on people and burping in people's faces, but I think most people don't. Are we just so sensitive that when someone does act in a rude manner we blame everyone and say the world has become a ruder place?

Serious answers pls.

I lived in the NY area for more than 15 yrs and am familiar with the people there.

Now I live in the Bay Area.

mc_bbchs_2010:

I understand what you mean, but when you live in a major city with a population well over a million people, you simply can't nod to everyone. That doesn't mean you don't nod to the people you know, like work mates. That doesn't mean you are rude to your date or sig. other and don't open doors for them.

If you literally saw over 200 people in an hour in a major city, would you really nod to everyone and considerate rude if they didn't nod back?

I think to say that people are ruder because there are people who walk the streets and bad mouth people today may not work as such a great example because you cannot rule out that people acting in such a ways 100 years ago. I think people still yelled at other people on the street and made offensive gestures.

I try and be generally polite to people, but I cannot stop and pull out chairs, nod and open doors for everyone. I am in a mass of people every day. Sure I will nod if I see one person in passing me on a quiet street and will wave a thank you at the person who let me into their lane in traffic, but when I walk past hundreds of people, I am polite by not making a seen or making it difficult for someone to move around me. I am always polite to my work mates, friends and family. But do I contribute to the idea of generally rude population by taking the time to be nice to everyone possible?

Thank you for all of your answers!

I would like to add one more thought:

If there are more of us cramped together than there used to be, should the idea of what is polite evolve to better fit today's society in those heavily populated areas?

Answer 1

It is about population density, the value of people's time, and a little self delusion.

I will start with the third issue. Many people see old movies of an idealist past with well-mannered children and dads in smoking jackets and confuse it with our actual past. By comparing that world to our current one, ours seems ruder.

Next, there used to be less people. If you passed 50 people on the street, it was a busy day. Now you pass 5000 in New York on a typical day. No one has the time or energy to 'tip their hat' to 5000 people. Therefore, people simply stop saying hi when on the street (which they would have done if there were only a few people on the street with them).

If you want to test this hypothesis, take a few people from a crowded city and put them in a small town for a week. They will become every bit as friendly as everyone else...while they are there.

Answer 2

I think that people are stressed more these days and more likely to run out of patience. Every day life is a struggle and it is easier to be rude than polite. I think everyone should be nicer to each other and the world would be a better place. It really annoys me when I put extra effort in, say, holding a door open for someone when I'm struggling with 20 bags and a baby, only for them to walk right past me without an acknowledgement, never mind a thank you. If these idiots would say thanks, more people would hold the door open an so on, I am always polite because I would be embarrassed not to be. I think in general this 'keeping up with the jones' attitude is to blame. These peple don't care though as everyone can see their new conservatory and that makes it worthwhile.....till next door buys a new car..........

Answer 3

Everything was better in the 70's/ People try, but they just dont have the basic manners and friendliness anymore. Not all of it is the cashiers fault either. The public is downright rude and mean about 40% of the time. It wears on you after a time. Also, people arent making enough money to survive on, and it all seems so futile. Lose one crap job, and go get another that isnt any better. I know a guy with a masters degree now working at Wendy's for a time. Just NO JOBS to be had. Gotta make some money some way ! Ive read some job openings at McD's and such get like 3000 applicants, so youre lucky to even get that.

Answer 4

People are definitely more rude today. It doesn't matter if you come into contact with a billion people a day. You don't have to nod at people or try to engage them in any way, but it only takes a second to hold a door for someone or smile. It's about respect and common courtesy. It really annoys me when I hold the door open and the person doesn't even say thank you. (Which is probably one reason why people have quit doing it.) The only thing that matters in this life is the relationships we have with other people and the way we treat one another. Its amazing the impact you can have on someone's day just by being polite. Relationship experts say that you are likely to get whatever you give...if its a bad attitude or rudeness, you'll get that. Bottom line-people who are courteous and polite are people who aren't self-absorbed and who focus on other people's needs before their own. Those are the kind of people who I surround myself with. I won't tolerate any other kind of behavior. People are animals, you have to teach them how to treat you.

Answer 5

Honestly, this site is a prime example of how people are rude to one another. Our generation can live behind an avatar and screenname while giving ridiclious answers and berating others. Not knowing which fork to use is not going to make or break our society, but acting in a manner that reflects who you are and demonstrates (at minimum) a respect for others (whether on-line or in the grocery store) will make/break us.
People today are very jealous and very much into instant gratification. Why be nice to someone who's not going to get them anything? I am obvisouly not speaking for the whole as there are genuinely nice people out there, but a course in manners wouldn't kill anyone.
So no, it's not about how to address an invitation, which fork to use or even knowing excetly how many courses are in a real full course meal. It's about the fact that society has lost the values (hard work, respect for others) that once *made* us care about which fork to use.

Answer 6

I don't really think we are any less rude than before, as you said there are many more people we are dealing with, and really out in the public I'd rather be overlooked, its a bit of an annoyance having to talk with someone you don't know, if I see a friend from church I'll say her or something though.

I remember going with a group of people (keep in mind I live with "good ole' southern people") and thought it was strange when someone held a door open for a pregnat person and it made them feel strange.
I'd feel strange if some person held a door open for me to =\

Answer 7

The reason people say that is because there are few who practice chivalry(i.e., opening doors for women), offer their seats for the elderly/pregnant/frail on a bus or train, and behaviors such as these. The generation in which those practices were taught are dying off, and the newer generations aren't teaching their children them.
There are some who still practice, but there aren't many of them left, or existing.
I'm from the old fashioned world, and so is my husband(he's in his mid 30's) He still opens the door for me(and others), If I am riding a bus or in a waiting room where seating is limited, I will offer my seat to someone who I feel is in need of that seat more than I am, stuff like that.
Generally, the world has become ruder, but it's because mutual respect is no longer taught

Answer 8

No, but it is true. For example, now-a-days you see boys with big pants and there underwear are showing. They only street talk to everyone, They usually call every girl a b****, And just don't respect there elders.

Now, did you see that in the old days? I think not.

Now, I'm also not saying everyone is like that, but there is more younger people being rude to there parents and there elders. Yes, there are also alot of people who are nice and well educated but the kids these days are doing all the opposite and that's why people say the world is a ruder place.

Answer 9

i do see your point!
However this was my first time out of my house today and just because you held the door for 18 other humans and your at the end of the day i should suffer because your fed up with hold doors! or nod..

But I perosnally don't think it's general politeness has gone!
i do think over all politness has gone.. yes people still hold doors for some and there are a great amount of people who do this!
what i find rude are companies and people who bit peoples head off because they didn't get there way!
and it wasn't even the person tey are yellings at fault!
that is disrepectfull!
more over with close relationships peeps get comfy with their friends and others that they don't excuse themselfs!
then some humans go overboard and will burb in your face but i's okay because they said excuse me!

all of this is one extream to another! but greed is the worst of them all!

Answer 10

People ARE less polite than they used to be. People aren't being taught to be polite anymore. At least I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that their parents just didn't teach them the basics of being polite. I figure it's better than assuming they're just a bunch of a$$ holes! And, I interact with many, many strangers a day and I still hold the door, say excuse me, etc etc. to each and every one of them because this is how I was raised. And you know what? 9 out of 10 times, I don't get the same in return. And it ticks me off to no end. And, I've gotten to the point where I say something to the jerks that just walk in front of me without saying excuse me. I say something to the jerks that just walk past me as I hold the door for them. I say something to the a$$ holes that cut me in line. Because I'm sick of it. People ARE rude. Even older people who should have been taught better are just as rude. And I hate it! I was raised differently. It is burned into my brain to treat people with dignity and respect. Every single one of them. Not just the occasional stranger, but every single person, every where! So, I'm sorry but the worls IS a ruder place and I'm sick of dealing with it.