It's never ok. Your kids should know that their parents will never, ever hurt them.
2007-10-23 05:09:06
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answer #1
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answered by Liza 6
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Everyone agrees you shouldn't beat your kids.
But if you're talking about spanking or some other minor physical intervention, this is a tougher question.
Most of the child development specialists these days seem to agree that for most kids, anything that could possibly be accomplished by physical discipline can be accomplished better in non-physical ways. Therefore, they conclude that it's probably best not to spank. Many, however, also agree that no real harm comes from minor physical intervention, if that's how you were raised and you are comfortable administering discipline that way. (They frequently add, however, that you should not administer physical discipline in anger.)
Some parents do seem to be able to pull off a spanking in a way that seems dispassioned and non-traumatizing. Other people, less so. For some people, in an emotional situation when they become angry, it may be a fine line between a minor physical intervention and real hitting. Something about the wording of your question indicates that you are concerned about this. If you are at all concerned that you are in danger of crossing the line, I'd suggest not even going down that road. Overly harsh or overly angry physical discipline can have negative effects on the child (such as not allowing him to learn acceptable ways of dealing with his own aggressive feelings), and can have negative consequences on your relationship. Plus, do you really want to get that phone call from your child's first grade teacher because your child told the story of how mommy threw a shoe at his head?
This is not to say you can't use strict discipline. You can, just not physical discipline. And if it turns out you were too strict because you were angry, you can later revise the punishment when your marbles are all back in your head. By contrast, there is no "take back" for hitting.
2007-10-23 06:35:58
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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If by hitting you mean blows, it is defintely not right. What is still fairly acceptable is a slap on the wrist, or spanking. Also in using physical means to discipline children, you must be clear on the reasons and motivation behind it. It's a thin line of self-control between disciplining and abusing.
In disciplining, parents use physical methods sparingly but to great effect. When an adult gives vent to anger and loses control, they could cross over to being abusive easily.
A good example of disciplining: I was a terror as a child and was slapping my siblings around. One day after slapping a sibling for no good reason, my dad gave me a taste of my own medicine - that definitely cured me of that nasty habit. In all my life, my dad has only raised a hand at me just twice and they were sufficient to set me right for a whole lifetime.
Also, hitting, like incessant nagging , without the child understanding his/her where they've gone wrong and what is acceptable/not acceptable, will produce the opposite of the desired effect. So, it's not the act that's ok or not - it's the why.
2007-10-23 05:24:28
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answer #3
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answered by founteterne 2
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Spanking IS hitting. Any definition of 'hit' would to be strike with force. Your palm to the butt is striking with force.
A swat, a smack is fine. And only if the smack isn't loud enough to be heard a distance away. Spanking and hitting, no. And there is no such thing as "tough love". The basis of saying it is a correct form of discipline is fundamentally flawed justification for your action (my philosophy professor always went on about fundamentally flawed things and justifications in society, which is why this country is having a serious moral and ethical breakdown).
Any means of hitting (and spanking includes that definition) will cause irreparable harm to the child both in the relationship and your false justification of teaching that violence is a universal solution. Which is why crime rates are higher than they've ever been and why the government in nearly all its aspects oversteps some boundaries. A child may develop seemingly normally and well, but the psychological impact is never going to be forgotten. Just faded away. And in many cases can manifest itself in the future through hatred (and how many seniors write asking why their children never visit or talk to them), depression, withdrawl, anxiety, submissiveness, aggression, violence, substance abuse, and abuse of close ones emotionally and physically. Ask alot of the people in prison or troubled teens/adults and I can bet most of you will tell you they had a bad childhood.
Some people believe that spanking is the ONLY way to discipline which can't be more wrong. Reason, patience, understanding, and reinforcement. Take the household dog. You don't spank your dog trying to teach him to obey, you say it and positively reinforce it over and over until he gets it or punish the dog by making him stay outside, or losing something he likes, or without a treat. So if what you can do to a dog, how can you treat your child as if your child was below a dog's standard and intelligience?
Others who were spanked and claim it to be doing you good, it kind of makes me think of the whole Stockholm thing-of the case the hostage falls for the hostage taker, traitor to their own cause kind of thing. Know this, if someone hits you, you wouldn't thank them. You'd naturally be angry and/or will hit them back. This holds true for any natural response of just about any animal.
2007-10-23 06:08:01
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answer #4
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answered by jm7 5
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No I do not believe in hitting children it teaches them that violence is normal especially if this is done in anger and with no control. my mother regularly hit me from being two years old and when I was a teenager one day I snapped and hit back the situation escalated out of hand and I ended up in foster care its took me years to rebuild my life and I am now 26yrs old have a nice home and a beautiful son but no contact with my mother hence my son has also lost out on a grandmother. Hitting children is not right children can be reasoned with and taught right from wrong without violence if only you have the time and the patience.
2007-10-23 05:20:05
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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There is a difference between hitting and spanking as a punishment. You should never HIT your children, that is just plain mean and abusive! A spanking for doing something bad is not always bad, just don't let it get out of hand and make it a beating that leaves welts or whatever! Better to send them to the time out corner/chair.
2007-10-23 05:10:38
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answer #6
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answered by hopetohelpyou 4
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A slap on the hand for a toddler lets them know what they are doing is wrong and not to do it again. But as they get older I wouldn't advise spanking because there are other ways of teaching right from wrong, such as grounding them or taking away their phone.
2007-10-23 05:13:44
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answer #7
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answered by Super Mom 1
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No, but spanking is not hitting.
Anyone who puts a fist to a child is a horrible person, and I will personally volunteer to return that beating ten-fold. But spanking is a different matter, because it causes no lasting pain, and no injury at all. In serious situations, it can be the most effective way of modifying a child's behavior.
Slapping is more of a grey area. There are ways and degrees of slapping, some I'd call abuse, almost as bad as hitting, and some are no worse than spanking.
2007-10-23 05:11:31
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answer #8
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answered by juicy_wishun 6
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I don't think it's the best thing to do. If you have a child that doesn't respond to other types of discipline, a pop on the butt might get the child's attention - but don't do this when you are frustrated or out of anger on your part. It's NOT ok to hit/abuse children, but if they are not listening & are doing something that could be harmful - I think spanking is sometimes necessary. It also depends on the personality of the child.
2007-10-23 05:25:19
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answer #9
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answered by QTpie 4
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It depends on the circumstances. I don't think it's necessarily bad. If a child is going to run across the street and a car is coming, if you can grab them then I think it's ok to lightly tap their hand or arm and say no. But it will depend on their age. You cannot reason with a child under the age of 5. But they do understand a tap or a light hit. I think we've gotten a little crazy today.
2007-10-23 05:12:14
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answer #10
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answered by Unsub29 7
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were exactly are you hitting them and with what force... spankin them but not leaving bruises, or punching them in the face.. you need to be alittle more specific.. spanking a child is the parents privilege and no one elses business. abuse the child and that is everyones businesss.. need to clarify your question a little better..
2007-10-27 05:07:02
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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