When you figure out how to discipline your grade school age kids and STICK to it, can you let me KNOW?

Question

Im a softie and have a hard time stickin to my guns!
They know it, and being a single mom, they use their dad against me and they live with me 6 days a week, now i think they feel threatened...they are sassy and wont LISTEN to a word i say! HELP!!!

Answer 1

Start spanking those little brats....
you are the mom......... you stay with them 6 days a week..
you are the boss, the parent, the adult, your the god and they just live in your world......not the other way around.

Answer 2

It's the sticking to your guns thing that you need to improve on. Start doing it and now! You have no idea of what you're in for when they become teens if you don't get control and respect right now.

You also need to meet with your X and tell him that he needs to discipline them as well as let them know that he won't tolerate them disrespecting you. That is if he has any integrity at all.

You need to lay down the law! Yea, your kids will resent you and probably dislike you for awhile (a long while) but believe it or not children crave discipline. Maybe not consciously but subconsciously it actually makes them feel loved. They will grow up to become much closer to you.

So, you just need to sacrifice a little emotional hurt now while you still can control them for a future of family closeness.

Answer 3

I'm a single parents also and I know that sometimes we say that we should mean and turn around and say a different story, but that's where they get that attitude from because we do not stick to our guns and use it against us and we feel that they should listen. I do the same thing sometimes to my oldest daughter, but I found a way that and shows her that what I say i mean it and It has work for me. Once you lay down your ground rules for no uncertain terms you negotiate if that means you have to take their cell phone, games and weekends with friends and make them clean the whole weekend you stick to it. Go to their school and embarrass them by sitting in their class letting them know that until they listen this will happen and that you will work with them if they work and listen to you. Talk to their dad and let him know that when you punish them that he has to help you by sticking with it and letting them know that since thier mom punished them that it goes for over their and that if they do not listen and abide by your rules then each week something will be taken away and that goes even for the house phone. Both of you have to have each others back without it you both will fail when it comes to discipline and them just thinking that it is a joke. Since i have done this to my kid she has been punished for 3months and begs everyday can she get on the phone. It is hard because i know she wants to talk to her friends but she has to listen to me this is my house and she has to live by my rules otherwise if she feel that she wnats to leave and stay some where else she still has to abide by her friends parents rules so she can not win for losing. If that does not work when they are in need of things that they want do not buy it for them and do not give it to them and make sure that they dad does not either. They need discipline and need to learn that behaving that way will get them no where and that when it is their time for kids they will see what you went through with them.

Answer 4

They don't listen because you probably threaten and don't do it. I learned never to make promises or threats I won't stick to. It isn't easy, but it works. It also takes time.

If you remind them of the consequences of their actions...do this and I will do this...you must do what you say you're going to do. Soon they will be bigger than you and they'll never listen. Being a softie is not a good thing,

Answer 5

I can totally sympathize with you, being a teacher. I really can't claim to have any good advice, but I would like to try! I don't have any kids this age, but I've had to handle my share of sassy pre-teens. One of my tricks to get through to a grade school age child is to talk to them like an adult. They are old enough to be on that level with you. If you can, sit them down, and let it out! If you feel like crying, then cry. Don't shout at them. Sit down like adults. If they want to be rebelious and try to act like they don't need you, then they can handle sitting like adults and talking - tell them that. Open up to them and have a heart to heart. Tell them exactly how you feel and see how they take it. They are at that age where they are still emotional and may feel remorse for the way they act if they truely see how it effects you. Tell them there is going to be a change. THEN, start laying down the law. It doesn't sound like much fun, but it's worth a shot! All the best to you! :) Good luck!!!

Answer 6

I say it all of the time. Read the book by Jo Frost, Super Nanny or watch the show. She has great ideas and they really do work. I know it is hard and exhausting and the kids try you constantly but if you are consistent, it really does work no matter what discipline you choose.

Answer 7

You've already let it go to far. You should have stoped all that from the jump street.(very beginning) Now they will feel like you don't love the anymore, or you are abusing them if you try to hard of a punishment. You might try taking away their favorite toy, TV, or video game. Maybe grounding them from their friends or outside play. Make it clear to them, you are their mother. Talk to dad about problems, 2 heads are better than 1.

Answer 8

First you have to give them a reason to want to listen to you. Either allowing them to make mistakes and being their to correct them, or establishing yourself as the dominant power in the house might help. Show them that you care, and let them see that you are doing everything for the betterment of them, and not because you are trying to be a meanie. If you have to hit them once or twice, make sure that you do it in front of the others so that you spread the message the first time, You have to show them that you are in it for them and not vice versa.

There was an episode fo Malcolm in the Middle where Lois did this to the first kid by telling him to not play with fire. She tried everything that she could to stop him from acting out, and listening to her, but when he tried to play with fire, she grabbed the stuffed animal doused with lighter fluid and held it in the fireplace and she told him that she was there to do whatever it took to protect him even if it meant protecting him from himself, while the bear completely burned up, burning her hand.

Answer 9

Then stop being wishy washy and stick to your guns. All you've taught them is that they can get away with just about anything and why listen to you when you do nothing about it? They're doing exactly as they've been allowed to do.

Problem is, when they get out in the real world they'll see that real Life isn't like Mom's house and they'll be in for a rude awakening. Do them (and yourself) a favor and get a backbone where your kids are concerned...it's for their own good remember? YOU are the parent/adult/mature person...

Answer 10

Of course they don't listen to you ,,,you don't stick to what you say your going to do. Believe it or not they want you to put your foot down they don't want you to be wimpy they need parents that stand tall and stand firm. It's like having a house built on a foundation of sand as opposed to one built on a foundation of concrete..which would make you feel more secure?
Oh and another thing when setting rules or grounding don't show any emotion ..or they will eat you alive lol

Answer 11

There are FOUR key words to disciplining children:

FAIR.
FIRM.
KIND
CONSISTENT

Remember, you are not raising your children to be older children, or even young adults. You are raising them so that your grandchildren do not starve. It is on your shoulders to provide for them to have the tools for the long haul, not just to get themselves to next month or year.

You will not live forever, your children need you now to teach them how to carry on without you. If you do a lousy job parenting, they will do an even worse one.