I am 25 and my fiance is 25, I have a house and my sister(22) lives in the basement but is never home until very late at night. My fiance lives in an apartment with her sister(23) and is home at 8pm every night. Our places are lease than 15 minutes away from each other. She never wants to come to my place and I am always staying at hers. I am at her place 6 nights a week lately. What do I say to have her stay at my place more?
2007-10-23 04:00:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's only fair tell her how you feel toward the situation.. Tell her you would like her to stay over your house a little more..You should ask her if there is a reason that she doesn't.
2007-10-23 04:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to consider why she prefers her own place. I can offer a few ideas...
1. Yours is mess or dirty and it makes her unhappy to be there. Solution: keep it both clean and tidy. By the way, be honest about this one. What's "clean enough" for a guy may be "downright filthy" to a girl.
2. She thinks you get too forward when you're at her place and likes having a chaperone sister. Do you pressure her to do things she maybe doesn't want to do? Maybe she's conflicted about pre-marital sex, so she's trying to reduce the frequency so she feels less guilty.
3. She doesn't sleep well at your place. This could be for a lot of reasons. Your bed might not be comfortable to her, or the noises might be strange.
4. She prefers heading to work from her place instead of yours. All her stuff is there, so it's easier for her to get dressed and go to work. She doesn't have to drive home first or remember to bring all her stuff. She can decide in the morning what to wear based on her mood.
5. She prefers cooking in her kitchen where she has everything she needs and knows where it's all stored.
6. She thinks your house is in a creepy neighborhood.
7. Or doesn't like your sister.
Why don't you just ask her about it?
2007-10-23 11:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that though you really enjoy her friends and family some of the time you'd like to spend an evening completely alone. Ask her to come over to your house so you can have that.
Also, if she's completely against your place there has to be another reason. Maybe she finds it too dirty or uncomfortable because it doesn't have that "woman's touch" that makes a person feel invited and cozy. If your home is cold and uninviting it's no wonder she'd rather be at her place.
2007-10-23 11:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, ask her why she doesn't want to stay with you. I'm assuming when married, you'll live @ your place? Maybe she doesn't like it? Or she could be acting 'proper' for her sister's sake? Maybe doesn't want her to tell mom/dad she's away from the apt. at nights. Or is it just easier for her to get ready at home for the next day? There is probably an innocent, easy answer and I wouldn't let it upset me too much. Just tell her you would love to have her stay more since that will be your home when married.
2007-10-23 11:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by dawnUSA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through that once and in the end she wasn't the one for me. Some people have a hard time giving up control and need to control the enviornment that they are in. That may lead to future trust issues in your marriage.
Obviously you are feeling uncomfortable about her and she uncomfortable about you. What I would suggest is to visit a relationship / marriage counselor before you say your I do's.
Most people think counselors are for when you are having problems but really they are most effective when the problems are small. Sign up for 2 or 3 sessions just to see if you and your fiance are on the same page of life.
2007-10-23 11:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by misternycguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is your fiance you must have been together a while so it cant be that she is feeling awkward maybe she just doesnt feel as confortable there try and entise her by doing a special night in with a meal make it warm n cosy make it a special night for you both maybe she'l want that more n come to yours x
2007-10-23 11:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by louise j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her stay in her own home. She probably has lots of "girl things" that she needs for grooming, personal items, or keeps her home clean to her liking. Perhaps she has allergies. If you want to join her at her place, fine. Obviously she likes her own space more than yours. You can invite her for special occasions, but if she doesn't want to go there, leave it alone. - Once you get married will be the time to move in together.
2007-10-23 11:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Princess Picalilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just find out why she doesn't want to come to your place. Also, maybe she is afraid if you guys are alone, that there will be a temptation for sex, and maybe that is something she is not comfortable doing until marriage (I don't know, since I am not privy to that info), but it sounds like she doesn't want to be alone with you at your house. Do she and your sister get along? You just basically need to talk to her and find out what is going on.
2007-10-23 11:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by Joy L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you would like to spend more quality time with her at your home rather than at hers. Or maybe she feels more comfortable at her place than at yours. Try surprising her with nice romantic dinners at your place that will get her to come over more. Good luck!
2007-10-23 11:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♫i luv♥♫juicy fruit♥♫gum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she wants u to stay with her even after marriage.
come on now be a Man and ak her out the reason.
or start by arranging a dinner in ur house and invite her over.
2007-10-23 11:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋