What would you think if someone told you this ?

Question

What would you think if someone told you this ?
What would you think if someone told you this ?
I ( he ) have to get a job first .
ok there is this guy i like and i am pretty sure he likes me but when we was talking about it he said we couldnt date till he got a job . but then last night he slept in the same bed as me . notthing sexual happened he just held me . What would you think of that or do after being told . I am 23 he is 21

he just moved back to amarillo , thats why he dont have a job
sorry if you have already read tis question i am just trying to get a lot of oponions

Answer 1

He probably feels like he needs to be able to support you since you are older he is intimidated by that. He probabaly wants to get a job so he can take you out and buy you things. Nobody wants to be a cheap date.

Answer 2

If you ask me I have to think back a long ways to
when I was 21 !
I have to admit that as a young man I was more
idealistic and in my day the man was supposed
to be the provider ---
And being a Texan also we always felt a bit more
Macho than the less fortunate people---especially
Yankees !
And we also have more respect for women ---it
comes with the territory ---
There were times in the past when I held girls
and held off by controlling my baser instincts---

So don't blame him too much ---maybe he'll
get a nice job---and ask you to join him !
If not --there's plenty of time --at 23 you're a
long way from being an "old maid "

Am I right ? --- or Amarillo ?

Answer 3

Well, you really didnt give to much information for someone to really base an opinion, but I would say that maybe the reason he told you he wanted to get a job before you and him got serious was because he wants to have money for you and him to be able to go out.

As far as him holding you and not being sexual in bed, I would say that he has respect for you. Most guys cant sleep in the same bed with a female without having to fool around.

Either way, you should talk to him about how you feel rather then trying to guess what he is thinking about. You will drive yourself nuts! Good luck!

Answer 4

Dump him, he's a loser.

Don't sleep in the same bed, he's just trying the gradual approach to get inside your pants.

The only reason you're attracted to him is because he is playing "hard to get", nothing more.

You're about to make a decision that could ruin your life. Next thing you know, you'll be pregnant and have to work 2 jobs throughout your pregnancy, while he sits at home (he'll move in with you in no time) and spends your paychecks on beer and porn.

Tell him things are moving too fast for you, kick him out, if he calls tell him you're not ready until he proves his maturity to you. If he does like you , he'll prove it. If he's just looking for a cheap thrill, you're better off without him,

Answer 5

I think you are trying to find an answer that you want by the manner in which you phrase the question. You don't mention why he slept in (or on) the same bed as you for that one night. There can be plenty of platonic reasons, such as it was late at night and you insisted he stay instead of going home. So you obviously want people to tell you that he is full of it or something. It doesn't mean he was trying to get into your pants by lulling you into a false sense of security.

Answer 6

I would think that this person wants to be able to feel good about himself by having a job. Old fashioned me thinks that a man needs to feel in control of his own destiny and our society teaches us that to be in control means to have money. I think this is TRUE to some extent. I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who cant afford to buy his own food, pay his bills and be generally financially responsible. If he is in between jobs, then my question is HOW MUCH DID HE SAVE before he made transition to carry him through before he landed the next job? There definately "Mixed messages" coming from this dude....whether there was sex or not is irrelevant, really.
If you want to be a sugar mama, then go ahead...just go in with your eyes open. Is this a pattern of his? How well do you know him? Does he have a home? Why is he sleeping with you? Does he have a car? Is he actually looking for work? How would you benefit from a relationship with this dude?

Answer 7

ok to me that kinda sounds like a cop-out but the fact that he stayed with you says something different, maybe he just doesnt want to date anyone untill he can have money to pay for a date. I think that you need to talk to him about it again, but be VERY clear, guys sometimes just dont get it. Ask hi if he sees you as more then a friend if he wants to be with you then wait, if not and hes just trying not to hurt your feelings you need to knwo so that you can move on, my view is that when and if it sapoused to happen it will, but there is no harm i finding out if theres hope for it. Either way you deservie to know and you should talk to him. hope that helps some.

Answer 8

I would say he is a confused young man who does not know what he wants. on one hand he would like to be with you, on the other he may feel he needs to be a gentleman and pay for things when you go out, therefore he needs a job before he feels right about dating you.
If he is sleeping in the same bed with you he may want more than just a friendship or he may just want to see how far you are willing to go with him while waiting for him to make up his mind about you.

Answer 9

Does he have a job interview set up? If he is motivated like getting up every morning and pounding the pavement looking for work then I would say he has your best interest at heart but if he is a dead beat he may be looking to gain your trust and slide his freeloading self right into your house right under your nose. What do you think,,go with your gut feeling not your heart.

Answer 10

Take this from a guy; it is hard to be in a relationship when you can not meet what you think as your role in a relationship should. He wants to be able to provide stability and comfort, this is also for his self respect. He sounds like a good guy, support him emotionally and appreciate him and his effort to be the right guy. Never and I mean never put him in a situation that belittles him, this will end things fast.

Good luck

Answer 11

It sounds like he might have needed a place to sleep and is using you for that purpose.

Does he have a home?

Is he spending his time looking for a job?

I'd say you should find someone that wants to be with you period. Because this guy does not. He just wants to take advantage.