I'm hoping to find some people to commiserate with here. I'm going to *have* to include my sister in the wedding party (I'm really hoping she'll back out, but with my luck she won't). I really don't want her and its just going to cause more problems than its worth to exclude her.
Anybody else get stuck including a sibling they're really not close to in their wedding party?
How did you or are you coping with it?
2007-10-23 03:47:47 · 13 answers · asked by nova_queen_28 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To explain, my sis is inconsiderate and unreliable, she is unemployed and has only worked sporadically, she steals from my mother and I. You have to keep any valuables under lock & key - or in my case @ the fiance's place. She is disrespectful. She already owes me several thousand dollars and has not even attempted to repay any of it - - my hope is that she'll admit she can't afford to be in the party and bow out and I'll let her have some other place (like doing a reading).
I genuinely don't have any close female friends. I decided I would ask a close cousin to be the MOH. I am including my fiance's two sisters.
Yes, she is my only sister and while I am not pleased with her I do love her - she is family.
I have never thought of not inviting her to the wedding.
One family member asked me if she were to straighten her life out would I feel better about including her. Yes, I would.
2007-10-23 05:37:04 · update #1
I have two older sisters and one was my maid of honor and one wasn't in the wedding. After the wedding, things got sour between us on an unrelated note, and we don't speak to each other. Alternately, it so happened that I ended up with people in my wedding party who were strangers to me. I wasn't happy about it but I chose to overlook it. In hindsight I would rather have had my sister in the wedding even when she clearly stated she wasn't interested and not willing to pay for her own dress.
She's your sister, and years afterwards, when you look at your wedding album and notice that your sister wasn't a part of it, how will you feel? Letting her be a part of it may make your planning a pain - especially at a stressful time - but it will outweigh any later regrets or family problems you'll endure to just try to exclude her.
More importantly, your wedding plans will then be more about how EVERYONE can have a great time and make your wedding day truly special. After all, its the people in your wedding who will make it special, not the beauty of your gown and flowers.
Weddings can be great occasions to let it go, make up, mend fences and let bygones be bygones. At least it seems that your sister wants to be part of it. I wish mine had shown a little interest.
2007-10-23 04:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by Maya's Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling you are doing this to keep the peace with the family (mom?).
you know that you are one notch higher in everyone's portait of you if you do include her. times like this should not have quarreling and bad feelings. its all about you and your soon to be.
I am sure there are a few people who will be invited to the wedding that you don't know or don't care about either but does that mean you will evict them if they talk to you?
no. if for some reason your sister has a bad habit that you cannot tolerate, then tell your mother to watch for her during your reception and just keep away from her most of the evening.
don't involve yourself with whatever she is doing and tell your family/friends that you want to have a great time and you don't want any fighting or "informing" on her cause you don't care.
put her in the party, give her the attention she deserves and let this day be the best damn day you will ever have in your life.
2007-10-23 04:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we began talking about the bridal party, we quickly decided against having one at all. If I picked the person I wanted to for MOH, my one sister would be really upset, but I didn't want to pick her, as our relationship has been strained a bit this past few years. If I had my one sister, I'd have to have my other sister, which means the only person in my family not in my wedding would be my brother, which I didn't think was fair, and my fiance didn't know who to pick for Best Man--thought his choice would also cause upset, so we just decided to save ourselves all the headaches and not have a bridal party at all. There will be a total of 30 people at our wedding, and our moms will both sign our marriage license as witnesses. It's a solution we're both really happy about.
2007-10-23 04:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are talking about. We have to pick "representatives" from all the different families, so that no one family is excluded. However, they are family and they should be included to a certain extent, close or not, because they are your blood and weddings are really about the joining of not just two lives, but the lives of the families as well.
2007-10-23 03:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by ZombieExpert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of pre-packaged party favors, set up a candy bar!! Select several different types of candies & place each into a large crystal bowl with a small scoop. Have mini bags or to-go containers nicely decorated on hand & let each guest make their own mix!! Much better than a packet of seeds that will just get tossed in a drawer once the guests go back home! Congrats & Good Luck!!
2016-05-25 03:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many things that you can have your sister do at the wedding. She is family and sometimes you just have to grin and bear. I was shocked that my brother, who I am not close to at all, asked me to be his best man. So I had to give the speech at the wedding. How uncomfortable was that for me? But in the end, it worked out well for everyone. So are you making a mountain out of a mole hill here?
2007-10-23 03:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My cousin didn't want her sister in her wedding. So she didn't have her as a bridesmaid.... she had her do a reading instead. So she still included her, but in a way that kept her sister out of her hair throughout the planning process.
I have no siblings, so I got to choose only my closest friends who created no drama at all.
2007-10-23 03:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to include mine too! i only have one sister, and she just assumed she was going to be maid of honor, because she's my sister. oh, and the rest of my family expects it to be like that too.
i have no relationship with her, and the only thing we have in common is that we both came out of the same vagina.
surprise, surprise, she hasn't offered to help me with any planning, scouting, budgeting...oh, she did offer to go try on dresses...together.
anyway, if i told her that i would really like it if she came as a guest, it would rock the boat bigtime, and i would have created completely unnecessary drama that would overshadow my happy day....so i keep my mouth shut. god forbid my wedding go the way i want it to go, right?
i may elope. that would solve everything.
2007-10-23 04:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by shoes_are_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is your wedding I say do not ask her. It is about you not any one else in your family and if they are that madd then they do not have to come but really it is so petty if thats the reason they don't come and you should nopt want them there if thats the reason they do not want to be there
2007-10-23 04:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by MEMYMOM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to include your sister?
And why do you dislike her so much?
It's your wedding. Unless your parents are paying for it, then you can do whatever you want. If your parents are covering the bill, then you may need to compromise.
2007-10-23 03:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋