my sister has some issues, always has and it has led her to turn to hard drugs and liquor, which in turn has introduced her to drug dealers and people of lower class than us. she keeps bringing bad people around me and my family who are judgemental, argumentative, and combative. i wish she'd stop but she will lie, steal, and stop at nothing to do and get what she wants. i just don't know what to do anymore. we were like best friends. now she hangs out with people who are just like her and all i have are my boyfriends friends.
how can i help her?
2007-10-23 03:28:39 · 8 answers · asked by pookie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
RUN
2007-10-23 03:37:08 · answer #1 · answered by streamline 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but, there is nothing you can do to help your sister. She will only change when and if she wants to. Nothing you can say or do will cause her to change. She has to want a better life for herself.
If you can get her arrested, maybe she'll get sent to jail for a while where she can think about things and get clean...maybe.
Don not enable your sister. If she steal something from you, call the police and file a report. If she comes into the house and starts getting into a fight with you or even starts yelling at you, call the police and file a domestic violence charge against your sister. You have to be the strong one. Don not back down and stop filing charges just because she starts crying or says she'll change. She's playing you. Stick to your guns and do everything in your power to stop enabling her to live the way she's living.
She may leave and you may not see her for a while, but she needs for you to tell her she is not welcome in your house until she is clean and sober...period...no exceptions. Tough love, friend!
Good luck.
2007-10-23 10:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your sister is an addict/alcoholic, you need to realize that susbance abuse is the most important thing in her life... more important than family.
The best thing you can do is help yourself. Try Alanon, a support group for those of us whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic... and OPEN Narcotics Anonymous meetings -- where you can attend and talk and ask questions about drug abuse and how to cope with someone like your sister.
Believe me, your sister will get help when SHE wants to. You can't force her.
You could also do a yahoo search on setting personal boundaries, and codependency. You apparently do not have boundaries in place, since your sister feels free to bring unsavory people into the home.
I'd suggest a search for both Alanon and Narcotis Anonymous. It might be helpful, and i do believe you can find meeting locations on their site.
The only person you can help in this case is yourself.
2007-10-23 10:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister needs a lot of help. I think the best thing that you can do for your sister is to have an intervention. Get some family and friends together and confront her about her addictions and her behavior.
2007-10-23 10:34:00 · answer #4 · answered by words777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
spend some time with her, doing the things she likes. Ask her if there is anythiing that you like doing that she dislikes. Ask her what will need to be done for your guys to be close again.
She will need to understand that if she cares about you as a sister she has to be willing to make some changes in her life to accomodate you.
Good luck, and I hope this is helpful.
2007-10-23 11:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by dymps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can only be her sister, you may help her but she has to ask and want to be helped.People with drug problems don't think that doing drugs affects their loved ones.Good luck to you ,I hope your sister gets help and then you can be close again.
2007-10-23 10:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by Ana C pisces1976 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get in rehab, she will not be a persone you can talk to anymore unless she gets help, if you can get a group of people who care about her together and you all can convince her to get help
2007-10-23 10:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and tell her how you feel
2007-10-23 10:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋