My 3 year daughter father basically goes for months and ignores my daughter as if she does not exist. He does this every year and always has an excuse. This time he is using me as an excuse because he does not like me we have also argued and he feels he cant get along with me. It is a load of bull he just wants to get his paycheck and not give my daughter a dime and his hate for me is an excuse. We could try to get along for her sake but he just chooses to not call or contact his own child. His family calls once in a while whenever they feel like it and I allow them to speak with my daughter but her father has not in months. My daughter asks about him all the time. If he does decide to one day call for her or want to see her again, What is the best way to tell him without an argument that he can not just pop up whenever he feel like doing so. Im fed up with his selfishness and the fact he does not love his daughter the way a father should. Just need some advice Thanks!
2007-10-23 03:26:01 · 5 answers · asked by Bleedingheartz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your better off without him in her life now. She's young enough to not really remember him. he will be the one who hurts becuase his daughter doesn't remember him and when that hits him, he'll finally realize what he did. I raise both my kids by myself and they both know their father but he was in and out until I stopped it not b/c of me b/c the kids were done. They said why does he come around only when he is single....I used to tell them Oh! cus now he has the time. My kids started standing him up and finally he gave up. Anyone can be a father but it takes a man to be a daddy!!!! My kids are happy with their step-dad. Don't force anything on him if he doesn't want to come, to hell with him!!! Don't bad mouth him march right up to child support and file, he has to pay you regardless if he see's her or not. You be the bigger person and be nice eventhough deep down inside you want to ring his neck, it will dawn on him when she becomes someone else little girl.....Don't stress him and do what i do, call him a sperm donor...lol Sometimes that's all men are good for. Good luck!
2007-10-23 03:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, you don't have a court order for child support and visitation in place.
If you want child support, petition the courts. They will go through the motions and attach his wages. It's not that hard.
You can't force the guy to be consistent about the child, and being all anxiety-ridden and stressed out over this, isn't a recipe for good mental health.
Take care of YOU and your daughter. Do what you have to do in order to get child support. If you want a schedule of visitation in place, ask for one. If your ex wants to follow the visitation schedule and visit your daughter, he will.
Otherwise it's not worth all the stress you are putting yourself under.
Your daughter has YOU and probably other family members who love her. Perhaps focus on the good things you both have, and move forward with life.
take care, too.
2007-10-23 10:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 children and their father acts the same way. We lived 15 minutes away from each other and he saw his kids 3 times in 2 years and then after that.. nothing. He NEVER called them, if he wanted to see them he'd text me and then we'd get stood up, he'd never show. I went through that for 5 years, then I finally moved to another state. I have full custody of the kids, he walked into court and told the judge "he didn't want the responsibility of the kids" So naturally I have full custody. It has been very difficult because I have to reassure them all the time that their daddy loves them. He doesn't call, he doesn't pick up the phone when they call, he doesn't return their letters... My oldest has gotten wise to it, but my youngest is still a little confused. In my opinion, at this age, they are too young to understand the ins and outs of why mommy and daddy dont' get along. All they need to know is that mommy and daddy aren't friends anymore but they both love you very much. That's exactly what I tell my kids when they ask. Someday when their older I'll talk to them about it, but NEVER bad mouth the dead beat to the kids... They don't need the guilt or the mental anxiety at such a young age. It is ok to be a single mom. You don't need him, in fact, he's dragging the both of you down. Move on, you can't force him to love her. Good luck to you.. your daughter is very blessed to have at least one good parent.
2007-10-23 10:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't make him be a good father. Your child is young. She will stop asking about him eventually. I just reinforce with my son that it's not his fault his Dad isn't around. That's just who Dad is and it's Dad's loss. I'm the lucky one because I get to be with him all the time.
It's hard not to talk bad about him but try! You'll have to be both parents. Scary, I know. I've learned to assume he won't be around and so I don't really even think about it at all anymore. Not going to waste my precious energy on him!
2007-10-23 11:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by real_kiss_fan 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let the courts deal with it.
2007-10-23 10:53:55 · answer #5 · answered by rhymingron 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋