my 14 year old son is making me crazy?

Question

he is a good kid, outside the home, inside the home he is disrespectful, only thinks of him sellf, ignores every request, I am ready to ship him away....help? I think he is just a spolied unappreciative bratQ!

thanks some of you had great ideas, however he plays soccer everyday after school, he does have chores just wont do them says he forgot....we take away video games all the time, I even have him stand in the corner when he is fresh to me.. all so I dont choke him!!! He will feel bad for a minute then go right back to the same lil ungrateful jerk!.. I cant believe he is my kid???

Answer 1

You have to remember that at 14 he is rebelling against everything to do with you. It is a fact of life, however, don't ever let him be disrespectful to you. That is crossing a line that shouldn't be allowed. He has to be reminded sometimes that everything he has comes from you, and maybe some things should disappear. Shipping him away isn't going to help, it will only say to him that you aren't committed to him enough to stick it out with him. Love him, but be firm, If the love is there then it shouldn't be hard to help him understand that his behavior isn't going to be tolerated. Because your job is to teach him to be a good man. You can't run from the problems tackle them head on. It isn't going to be easy to correct things that your let happen, but you can do it with love and mutual respect. Only respect him if he respects you. Make him do something give him some chore that he has to do in order to have certain things or privileges. Take the time with him he is worth it. 14 - 21 is a rough age period to get through. But he needs you more now than ever to give him the right answers. Good luck and keep in mind, this is my son, this my son. It will get better I promise.

Answer 2

Outside the home - there are rules and he knows people will follow through with the consequences.

Is that the case inside the home??

Sit down with him - (and his other parent if they are in the picture and willing) - and let him know what the rules of the house are - and what the consequences are for not keeping them. You might even let him choose what the consequences might be. When he breaks the rules - enforce the consequences - and DO NOT BACK DOWN. (i.e. if chores are not done by Friday afternoon there is no going out on the weekend - or whatever) Follow through on whatever is agreed upon - no matter how much he whines - complains - whatever.

Spoiled brats are simply kids whose parents have given in repeatedly and let them have their way.

Parenting classes are usually available at the YMCA - and sometimes through churches. Therapy is helpful too. It's not just for "crazy people" - but actually it does sound like he's making you pretty crazy.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

take a seat with your son and set some floor policies. talk what's going to ensue if he would not start up changing his strategies-set at homestead... a million. His cellular telephone would be taken away 2. His iPod would be taken away 3. His PS3 or interest gadget would be taken away 4. His television would be taken away 5. His telephone privileges would be taken away 6. His time with acquaintances would be taken away You get the image. in case you like your son to act, there ought to be punishments which will relatively hit him the place it hurts while he would not behave. of direction, if I have been you, i could take each and every thing away...and that i propose each and every thing...and make him earn them back by making use of being a man or woman and not a substantial brat! hard love! If he falls back into some disrespectful ordinary, start up taking issues away beginning with the flaws he loves the main! at the same time as you're at it, why no longer supply him some enjoyed ones accepted jobs if he would not have any? He needs to pitch in and pull his weight around the homestead, too. He can load and sell off the dishwasher, take out the trash, run the vacuum, and so on. i wish this facilitates.

Answer 4

Hi - I feel your pain. My son is now 16 and is finally coming around. He was exactly how you described at 14, a little better at 15 and is now coming out of it. He even admits now that at 14 he was a brat. Oh believe me, we looked a boarding schools, military schools etc. we never did it but we considered it. Just keep setting the limits, don't give up, make him suffer the consequences of his behavior. I believe it's the parents who give up who have a parenting issue. You can do this! Set the boundaries and the rules and enforce them. I remember my son telling me not to care about him anymore and let him do what he wants, as hard as it was (it would have been easier to be in denial and pretend everything was fine) we refused. I'm glad we did, life is a lot better now. I even got a hug and a thank you the other day!

Good Luck, I believe in you!

Answer 5

Oh do I feel your pain! My son turns 14 in a few days. He is such a snot most of the time - sad to say I expect him to do the rude thing in most instances! However, like yours, mine is great at school and church, in fact I am always getting compliments on how polite and thoughful he is!
Enough to make you crazy, right? Lately I have been trying not to scream and get emotional and instead show disappointment rather than anger (my natural reaction) to his rudeness.
Know that you are not alone - I think it is part of what they must do to separate themselves from us but don't give in or up, keep demanding the respect or take away the consequences. All will be well for both (all) of us!

Answer 6

Spend more time with him or get him involved in some after school activities. Maybe let him have friends over once or twice a week. You need to make him respect you though. Don't let him disrespect you. If he does, take something away that he really likes. Such as a computer or video game.

Answer 7

Don't let him treat you that way or be disrespectful to you or anyone else. When you're home one day and he's in a good mood, sit down and tell him how you expect him to behave when you're out. Explain exactly, using specific examples of things he has recently done, you don't want him to do and be very specific about how you want him to behave. Then tell him if he continues to be disrespectful and misbehave when you're out then he will have consequences. Pick something that matters to him and tell him that he will lose that priveledge for a week (video games, instant messaging, tv, having friends over, going out with friends -whatever). Then tell him that if he continues to misbehave you will revoke more and more privelidges. Then stick to your guns and do it. He'll learn. When you go out and he behaves the way you want him to, tell him - thank him for being respectful and doing what you asked and tell him you're proud of him. Praise goes a long way.

Answer 8

when you are in the house don't give him what he wants make him work for it my sister was the same way.when he is at school take all of his stuff out of his room leave only his bed and clothes and tell him that he wont get the stuff back until he starts to treat you with respect. make a chart and tell him when he does 3 or 4 thing that you ask him to do then he gets one thing back. that's what my dad did and now she knows to give him respect. she does what she is told.

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i hope this help...but if it doesn't then you need to take him to get some help

Answer 9

Well as much as it hurts,must think of a way to punish him, no computer a time to go out and play etc,If the boy doesn't see you really mean it and can get away with it he will, so do yourself a favor and put punishments without any violence of course.
Good luck and take care.

Answer 10

Don't treat him like one and teach that kid some rules. If anything, I can't stand a child that whines and wants everything, let alone is disrespectful to his/her parents. That's not right. Kids aren't supposed to be teaching the parents.