im very upset. just had a big fight with the husband. when we met things were fine. until he got "saved".
now things are just getting worse n worse cause i dont believe exactly the same as him.
well the problem right now is with halloween. i see this as a harmless holiday for kids to get free candy. and yes i know the true history of it not the distorted one some religions try to give.
well he forbid me to take the kids out trick or treating saying that they were his kids and that what i was doing meant im going to hell and he wont have his kids follow me there!!
i was livid.
he basically told me i had to believe the same as him or he didnt know what he was gonna do. i told him if he cant respect my beliefs like i respect his that there was only one other option which was to separate. i have respected him. even going to church as a family on sundays with him but i guess this is not appreciated. im very hurt and angry about this. what should i do?
2007-10-23 02:30:53 · 23 answers · asked by maylene1852 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i believe in God, and living a moral life.
i do not believe in organized religion. i dont necessarily believe all the bible since the bible is a good book, but was written by men.
his religion is evangilical.
also i was raised by very strict pentecostal
so i kinda grew up hating church.
2007-10-23 02:31:50 · update #1
it's a shame the kids are caught in the middle of that. don't deny your kids the fun of being a kid. this whole "halloween is a pagan holiday, so it's evil" crap makes no sense. tell him that christmas and easter are also pagan holidays (oestara and the birthday of mithras), is he going to deny those of your kids as well?
2007-10-23 02:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, Well........ That is not what sends anyone to hell. Tell your Husband to study the 10 commandments again:)Part of being a kid is Halloween. I dont believe that when you take your kids trick-or-treating that you are participating in a "bad" thing or that you are going to hell! Your Husband needs NOT try to inatill his religous beliefs in everyone in his household. I agree that partners should be on the same level when it comes to religous belifes as that is a VERY important part of any relashonship! Let him tell your kids that He is not going to let them go trick-or-treating and he can be the bad guy! If I were you I would still take them and if he wants to leave over that, then hey, whatever! Its all about compromise and meeting each other half way and he needs to understand that :) Good Luck and I really hope everything works out for you.
2007-10-23 04:29:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person gets 'saved' for the first time, they have a tendency to 'spread the word' and get really wrapped up in it. This can put enormous strain on any relationship. You'll need the patience of a saint to get you through this one, but if you love him enough, you will survive. It wont be easy. Your husband is trying to please God, and in the process he's hurting his relationship with you and your children. You need to point this fact out to him. God never intended for a husband to treat his family in a selfish and narrow minded way. Your husband needs to read the 'red letters' in the New Testament and follow what Jesus said and not anybody else. He wont find the Kingdom of God in a building every Sunday where people are ranting and raving. You wont find it either, by following the 'traditions of men'. Let you and your husband study the bible like I said above. Put everything on hold for a while and give it a try. I wish you well.
2007-10-23 02:51:19 · answer #3 · answered by Emerald Book Reviews 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, what a sticky situation! I completly sympataize with you, he's not the man you marry anymore. I completly agree with you, I do not believe in organized religion, but live a morally strict, law abiding life. I'm sorry about your situation. You have done very good by compromising certaing things and even going to church as a family. He should appretiate your effort and respect your beliefs, you are absolutley right! However, since he has been "brainwashed", this could be the deal breaker. He will try to "save you" and in his head, he's trying to "help you", so what he is doing is out of love accordingly to his beliefs. Fanatism in religion is a very dangerous and destructive borderline psycotic behavior. I've seen people throwing away their "wordly" possesions (DVD, Cd's etc.), stop normal marital bedroom behavior altogether and skip harmless holidays becaiuse they are "the decil", some people will stop dancing because is the "possesion of the evil spirits", perform exorsism on you and your friends etc. this is completly irrational and extreme. I'm truly sorry. My advice is for you to go to the church "fall" festival instead, they will get free candy there too. At school they can have the halloween party as well and he won't even know it. I can only sympatize with you, I hope that you guys can work things out. Best of luck
2016-05-25 01:43:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, I am truly sorry for you. I have been in a similar situation. You are going to have to gt him to come to his senses and realize he made a lifetime commitment when he said I do. My advice to you is call his pastor and tell him what is going on and have him come over to counsel you husband. No true church is going to encourage a man to rune his marriage. They usually do everything possible to keep marraiges together but if your husband has truly changed into a fanatic and wont relint you have no other choice.
I am wiccan but my husbands family is mormon, so I kinda know what you are dealing with, even though my husband is understanding, for a long time he wasnt and I just had to knock some sence into him and make him realize that I'm the best thing ever to walk into his life.
One time we got into it and he told me to get out. I told him I ain't going anywhere and neither is he. When his mom tried to get involved I let her know I'd stomp her too. Men need to be controled a little or they go insane. I have it a little eisier for my husband and I are soal mates. If he won;t come to his snses then for the next one, look for your true soalmate for we all have them out there. Yours is there, if he ain't already there. My thoughts are with you and your kids. Blessed Be
2007-10-23 03:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by nightshadetn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By what you say it sounds like the decisions are all in his court..."he basically told me i had to believe the same as him or he didnt know what he was gonna do."
Good for him. What about if you tell him the same, let him do the fretting for a bit?
I know if it were me, I would leave. That may sound drastic, but not half as drastic as religious fundamentalism.
There is, of course, the fact that he is genuinely blinded by his newfound faith. So perhaps what many people would do is leave on a short term basis, or try and make hjim get help for these extremist beliefs.
2007-10-23 02:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by Z 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband has gone off the deep end. God, wants you to have a little fun ..... no one's going to "HELL" because they trick or treat. If you can't get through to him but don't want to go as far as a divorce talk to him about a legal separation until you can come to terms. You have to make this decision not just because of your feelings but for those of your children. Don't let him screw with their heads!!! You can do anything and survive it as long as you have love in your heart and faith in the true , loving and Grace Giving God!
2007-10-23 06:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your question is more or less about halloween.... but the answer cannot be simple.
He made the choice to change without you or your input. obviously, he made the decision about halloween based on someone else's point of view as well. "they" told him it was evil and that celebrating halloween would send you and the kids to hell. "they" are responsible for his ideas, and he's buying into them. YOU are no longer part of his decision-making process, therefore you no longer have a partnership. a marriage is a partnership, therefore you no longer have either. you can decide to follow his brainwashing, or you can decide not to. you can decide to live in a world where he listens first to "them" and second to you, or you can decide to leave him..... and go through the misery of divorce. but as tough as the spectre of divorce is, the wall between you will only grow and separate you for the rest of your lives, whether you stay or go.
good luck with whatever choice you make.
2007-10-23 02:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Something wicked is going to destroy your family unless you can find a faith that meets all your needs. I do not attend church and do not need any middle man or woman to speak for me when I need to check on anything with "GOD". As a family, pray at home and ask Him to show you a way to compromise. Halloween is no longer anymore dangerous than Christmas and Santa Claus. The world is truly evil. Children NEED to make believe to get through it.
2007-10-23 02:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by midnite rainbow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should respect your husband, but he was out of line. He assumes that you'll be sent to Hell if you go trick or treating, which is untrue, according to the Bible. We are a sinful nature, everyone sins. According to the Bible, we must put our faith in Jesus as being our Savior, who died on the cross for our sins. If we believe this, we will be saved. Now, the Book of James says, we must not have dead faith, but a faith of works. This means in order to genuinely have faith, you must act on it. That doesn't mean if you lie a few times, or take your kids trick or treating, that you won't have faith. It just means that don't get caught up being sinful 24-7, because then you will get caught up in earthly pleasure, and forget about God. This is my current interpretation, and it might change. I believe this way because I've seen it happen to me. Just in case I'm not really clear on this, think of it this way, if you constantly disobey Jesus' laws, or ignore your works of faith, you will then basically forget about God, and resort to earthly pleasure, and you will be void of the Holy Spirit, (He helps you maintain the spirit of wanting to do what's right) ((also my current interpretation)) You punishment will be temptation, you will give in more, until you're basically back to where you started, a sinner without faith. So the punishment is, God will make it harder for you to seek Him, because you are in essence making it harder for you to seek Him. I'll refer back to this question in case you want more clarity. Just ask or you can email me at o0_content_0o@yahoo.com
2007-10-23 02:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by Let's Debate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a holiday where people decorate with witches, demons and death in general. This may be what is concerning to your husband. He may see it as inviting the dark and entertaining ideas of the dark. So naturally, he does not want to expose his children to such invitations, nor put a stumbling block in their path (confusion) as to what is good and what is not good. This is just to help you understand where he is coming from, but what you decide to do is up to you.
As far as your beliefs vs. his, he has no basis of issuing an ultimatum to you but only to win your heart for Christ.
2007-10-23 03:08:04 · answer #11 · answered by HumanBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋