Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year now, but it has been one rocky ride. We love eachother very much, but for some reason we get into ridiculous fights. He has a very bad temper and he snaps for the dumbest things. When he's good, he's great! However, he has the worst mood swings I have ever seen and for no reason he'll begin to shout at me for the most dumbest things, like over the dishes or if I'm going out with my girlfriends, he'll assume I'm meeting up with boys.
Of course I'm not the one to bend over, so I give it right back to him. It has gotten to the point where I'll just get out of the car when we're at a traffic light. I just don't understand why we can't get along. I care about him deeply and we have a great time together, but I cannot for the life of me tolerate his moodiness. I wish I knew what to say to him, but all I do is get angry with him.
2007-10-22 18:22:15 · 12 answers · asked by yayaquack 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
move on, relationships don't have to be that way. it's not likely to change. usually these things only get worse. not saying it will be easy, but everyone deserves someone who is nice to them.
2007-10-22 18:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that you've gotten into one of those "catch 22" situations where fighting has persisted to the point where it's no one person's "fault" but both parties are hurt.
At this point, I usually find it important for one party to step up, be the bigger person, and admit something is wrong. Which, as I judge from your question - you already are.
What's important now is to vocalize these emotions to him and make sure he understands you. In other words, put your feelings into a language he understands. Make sure that you're clear in your terms of what types of things are "acceptable" and "unacceptable".
If he is unwilling to live by these standards then I think it's time that you analyzed why your relationship lacks compromise. Do you not have the same say as he does in your life together?
I apologize if my answer rambles or is poorly constructed, it is very late. Anyway, hope that something I said helped you. Good luck.
2007-10-23 01:35:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once dated a guy who was just like that. Walking out of the car and all, (except it was my car so I'd kick him out.) Anyway, this could be a serious problem. He could be under a lot of stress and not know how to deal with it. Or there could be even more serious issues like bipolar disorder. You may want to see if you can get him to talk to someone about his issues.
I know it's easier to get angry, but sometimes you've gotta be the one to put on the brakes or it just goes into a vicious cycle. You have to stay calm and be rational. Explain your point of view to him and tell him gently but firmly that he needs to calm down and that his outbursts are not productive and you will not tolerate them. Don't think of it as wussing out, think of it as having the strength to refuse to play his little game. If things don't even out soon, don't stick around for that crap. Relationships should make you happy (well, most of the time anyway) if you're miserable you're wasting your time.
2007-10-23 01:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by GreySkies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously you're okay with it because you've been with him this long already. When you're tired, it will matter not what anyone else says. In the meantime, since you're opting to deal with it, find ways to let his mood roll off your back. You already know the fire storms are coming. Just sit on the sidelines and watch them and wait for them to pass. Good luck to you.
2007-10-23 01:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by finding_favor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does it cause he loves you. but the fighting part will just countine if some one doesnt take the hits. some one has to just bit there lip and we both know it wont be him. maybe something has built up in him that he cant hold any more you should ask him how hes feeling and if he want to talk. let him know you love him and make him see that hes the only one and your not seeing other guys.
2007-10-23 01:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could he possibly be bipolar? If so, he needs to see a psychiatrist to have some medication prescribed for the mood swings.
2007-10-23 01:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a serious talk with him in a CALM voice and explain that if he doesn't do something about his mood swings that you're going to leave him. taking him to a psychiatrist might be worth while. or relationship counseling.
good luck
2007-10-23 01:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Monkey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you know it's not going to improve with time, right?
Unless you want to do this the rest of your life, dump him and find someone who appreciates you.
It might even teach him a lesson and he might not treat his next one so shabbily.
It did mine. Time's awastin' girl. Run for it.
2007-10-23 01:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by LaVere B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what it will be like if you marry him, so think hard about what you want and whether you really love to be with someone like this, you will be house ridden and have to explain what took you so long when you went shopping
2007-10-23 01:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by chocolateman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is not good for you to get along with a man with bad temper.You should have a talk with him about your status.Here you will find more dating tips
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2007-10-23 01:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by gothic_girls66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋