is she overreacting? what do i do?

Question

this is a letter i sent to a friend right after the incedent

i was going to becca's house next saturday t spend the weekend with her, we were evcited for the time we were going to spend together. also of course there was the undertone f sex. she acked me if we could go to sleep right after then just wake up, sounded like a good idea to me.. it wasnt the only thing we were going to do obviously, i was going to take her to the movies, we were going to do other stuff, it wasnt about the sex it wa about the time together

she texted me today saying that she would be on the rag that wekend, i though oh no i wont be able to do what she asked and texted back maybe next weekend then?

yea... i have ber adhd and im uber impulsive sometimes, that came across as not i want to make you happy but ..if we cant have sex i dont want to come. also saying that kinda assumes that sex is the only thing that will make her happy, and its not the only thing.

it came across really bad. andnow she has this notion that we are all about sex, that every nice thing i have ever said to her was just to get in her pants. she doesnt want to believe it but thats how me saying that made her feel.. tht really sucks! i have never lied to her, not about that. ever, and i never will.

i dont know where we are right now, i think she might break up with me. over something like this, something where i was just plain stupid, itt would destroy me.

i really truly love her. im so scared right now and i dont even know how to fix this, or what to say at all. all i know is she's upset that these things are going through her head, and im upset that she could doubt me or any of the things i have said to her.

also it just seems like she is always the one who is upset at me, and im alway the one repenting for something or the other. i dont know what that says, maybe that shes doing nothing wrong? or what? i dont know. i can barely think right now.

ok wow.. sex really isnt all that important to me..the time with her is, the only reason i suggested thatwe try next weekend was because she seemed to be looking foreward to certain aspects of the night...i thought it would make her happy...she took it as me saying if we cant have sex i dont want to see you...which is total bullshit.

Answer 1

Yeah that did sound wrong. (But at least you're trying to fix it; a lot of guys don't even notice or care that there's an issue.) Just tell her the real reason you said that, and tell her exactly what you've said on here.

Honestly, she probably won't believe you. I wouldn't. But if you really don't want the relationship to be all about sex, SHOW her that. Try avoiding being sexual at all w/ her for a little while and focus more on other aspects of the relationship.

You two seem to be having issues anyway so this may be a good time to discuss and reevaluate the relationship.


GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 2

I think she knows thats really all you want. I've been in that situation before, and it plays out just like that. Dumb. You sound like my ex.

But yeah, I think thats all it is. She just knows what would really make your weekend, and she probably wants the same thing, too. Which is why she proposed next weekend. Unless sex is truly the basis of your relationship, which happens way too often, then yeah she won't want to spend useless time with you without being able to have sex.

Answer 3

Well, you blew that one. It does sound like all you want is the sex. If you don't want to be with her without the sex then you don't care about her as a person. All you want is a sex object. Ask her for forgiveness, if she is still speaking to you. I'm not sure that I would if it was me.

Answer 4

If she doesnt bleed like a whale and you aren't squeamish or just that kinda guy that doesnt mind, then dive on in if shes game!!

Actually will be doing a favor for it does help a lot of women with their cramps. What can I say, I have no problem easing my girl's pain if she needs me ;)