Ok, so my ex and I were dating for about a half a year... I really liked her, treated her well, bought her gifts, made her laugh hysterically. We were away from each other for the summer, but kept in communication for most of the summer. When we got back to school, she dumps me and says she just wants to be friends with me. Obviously, there's more to the breakup, but is it too late to find out, and if not, how do I ask her? I've been dying to know for the past 7 weeks and have been in a lot of emotional pain. I really miss her, too... for some reason. She dumps me, yet I want her back. It's too weird. I really want to get on with my life, but I haven't been able to forget about her. I still care for her, and the girls I've been meeting don't make me feel like she did.
2007-10-22 17:48:24 · 23 answers · asked by Ben 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She just simply didn't want to be with you. Maybe she got bored, maybe she found someone else; who knows. Most women don't have the guts to tell men why they break up with them. They are too ashamed or embarrassed. I've been in your situation. I was with a girl for a year and a half and she just breaks up with me without reason. To this day I don't know why. What you need to do is just move on, simple as it is. Cut off all contact with her. Stop thinking she'll come back, stop waiting for her calls, texts, IM's etc. Shes not coming back. Delete her from your phone, from myspace, from AIM. Staying friends with her will only cause you more pain. Maybe in a few months you can talk to her again. But for now, no contact. Women are indecisive, they don't know what they want. So they flaunt and wander around trying to seek something they'll never find. They will never be fully satisfied. Just take a break and have some alone time to figure things out. Best of luck to you.
2007-10-22 17:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're both Christians then ask her. You need to forgive her and she needs to be forgiven. If not, realize that only you can decide how you are going to react to a situation. It is ok to mourn the loss of a good friend, even if all the guys around you say you just need to get over it. Really, that's what needs to happen, but on your time-line not their's. Another thing, you can't bring "her" into every subsequent relationship. Maybe they can't make you feel like she did, but maybe they can make you feel like she couldn't. Or maybe all the other girls suck, and you just need to wait until you find a new pond to fish in?
2007-10-22 17:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by doodlebug 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my advice.
Have you called her? If so, how did she act?
If you didnt call her....you can.
Judge your next move on how she responds.
A. If she doesnt answer nor call you back....she doesnt like you and you need to move on.
B. If she answers and says " well im too busy to hang out" then she really means that she doesnt like you but doesnt want to be mean and hurt your feelings so she lies.
Or
C. She could act very excited about hearing from you.
IF this happens...keep persuing her.
IF NOT...move on. It will only make you look desperate to keep calling her.
Girls want what the cant have. Call and feel out the situation...she how she responds.
If she doesnt like you anymore *which is very likely* get over it. You might not find anyone you like as much for a while but you will.
Please take my advice..Ive been through this lately.
2007-10-22 17:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by littlerock72205 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if she left you there has to be someone else. i know that it hurts but why don't you call her and ask her what you did wrong or why she left you tell her that you need closer in your life. and don't wait around for her move on just date and enjoy life and maybe one day if it is meant to be then she will come back into your life.just keep your head up and don't let her see you all down act like yo don't care and maybe she will realize what she lost because you sound like a great guy. and give other girls a chance when the right person comes along you will know so go on with your life. she is not worth putting your life on hold. GOOD LUCK!!! you will be just fine you deserve better.
2007-10-22 17:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by christina b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need a little time to get used to being without her. Don't try to jump back in so soon. If you were only dating for six months you should be over her. Get on with your life and look for a "fun" girl to bring you back to life. Wait for a while to try to find someone serious.
2007-10-22 17:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by Frosty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were only with her for six months, not a long time in the whole scope of things. Put matters in perspective and you'll have an easier time getting on with your life. She's not that into you anymore. You are young and have a lot in front of you. There may be more heartbreaks ahead. Learn to make yourself happy, find your passion, do things you like to do and be yourself to attract the kind of people you are supposed to have in your life.
2007-10-22 17:52:55 · answer #6 · answered by gma 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Same issue with me..i broke up with my boyfriend because i was having A LOT of stress with school and everything and i thought it would make me happier and better but it made it worse for me and him (though we didnt admit it) what my boyfriend did that brought us back together happier than ever is that he called expressing how much he loves me (without letting me speak) and telling me that he cares so much about me that will do ANYTHING to ease the pain and help..make sure that she knows that it's okay if you guys don't see eachother as much as you like too..say that you are fine with that and will do anythign to help because right now is the hard part and you guys need to stick together and learn to make things work..say that you can't imagine urself with anyone else..and that is shes going through hard time and doesn't want to feel obligated to you and just be left alone so be it..but let her know you LOVE HER and want to be with her always and if ever she needs you..u'll be there without any question...hope it helps
2007-10-22 17:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by 0000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to know, the only way is asking her directly what happened. Tell her what you're feeling and if you are really friends, as she told you, then she should be honest with you. But you have to be ready for the answer, because it seems to me that the reason why you haven't asked her in the past seven weeks is because you fear that there's someone else.. at least that is my perception.
2007-10-22 18:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obviously was not in a good stage in her life and wants to take it slow. I'm sure she liked you to and will eventually get back together. Try to talk to her and ask her whats wrong. She if there's anything you can do to make her feel better. Women love be treated like rolaty:)
2007-10-22 17:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably realized over the summer that she wanted to enjoy the single life again, or maybe she met someone else and realized that she wasn't being fair to you by staying with you. I think asking her will only exacerbate the situation because even if she tells you the truth, you'll continue to beat yourself up over how you could have changed things.
2007-10-22 17:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by maria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋