my boyfriend is a great guy, but sometimes he's really nice to me and sometimes he seems distant away. he admits that he's still in love with his ex, even though he does like me in a special way. we have great times together, but once in awhile something would remind him of his ex and he would only think about that.....even when that relationship ended more than 3 years ago....
i really like him, but i can't stand him thinking about another woman when he's with me. he doesn't seem to get better either. i just don't know what to do now.
2007-10-22 17:31:58 · 10 answers · asked by feb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i feel really hurt when he's thinking about her and doesn't open up to me
2007-10-22 17:34:39 · update #1
Try to come up with rituals, traditions, and habits that are unique to the two of you.
Or, I had a boyfriend who took me to all the places he'd taken his ex to 'replace' his memories of those places! It actually worked, too, and I definitely enjoyed Big Sur and driving down Highway 1 in California from one end to the other in a white convertible, too.
The more memories you two make, the less he will pine for her, trust me.
2007-10-22 17:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to decide how much time you want to spend in the shadow of an old lover. I personally would put up with that about 5 seconds. You don't give a clue to your age, but don't waste time with someone who has already wasted 3 years of his life.
Move on girl. If you still want to be his friend tell him that. Tell him you are looking for a solid relationship and since it isn't going to be him, you want to be friends but free to keep dating other people until you find that special guy who will love you and only you. He will either see he is loosing you and straighten up or go back to his "pitty party."
2007-10-23 00:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's gotta be tough on you. I'm no specialist, but I can tell you what I would do if I was in that situation. I would really think about what it is about the situation that bothers me, and if it is extreme enough, and I don't know if I can handle him thinking about her all the time, I would suggest a break. Maybe he is just a person that is easily emotionally attatched. So if he has to spend time away from you, maybe you will be all he thinks about too. Now, this may not work for you like it would for me, but that's the best idea that I can think of for my personal situations. I really hope that this helps you. Best wishes!!!!
2007-10-23 00:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Aimee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you deserve someone that is in love with you and not an ex. He's really not in to you, but likes to keep you around for convenience. You need to get rid of him and find someone that is actually interested in you, not in passing the time while staying hung up in the past. Please value yourself enough to move on. Good luck to you.
2007-10-23 00:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by stew 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should, next time he thinks of her, get up and walk away and stay away for a long time.
The pain of the past is a hard thing to understand and the past is a hard thing to let go of. Perhaps he needs to see that he is hurting you by living in the past.
For your own mental health cut him lose.
2007-10-23 00:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first empathize his situaiton and not sympathise. this will relieve him from a lot of pressure. next thing fill him with lots and lots of love that he never even gets the time to think abt hios ex, After some time he will forget abt his ex and he will nly think abt u
2007-10-23 00:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by darshan c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have a gal in similar thoughts. But I have been advising her to change opinion but she hasn't changed yet. There is no point in beating around the bush. Try to get married with your parent's wishes soon. That's the only remedy for your sex problem(!)
2007-10-23 00:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by JANARVIHARAN 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump and move on. If he's not over his ex yet, when will he be? He shouldn't have jumped in to another relationship.
2007-10-23 00:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by Brian C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really unfair for you. I would break it off with him, as he needs time to realize what he wants. If you guys get back together, then you were meant to be..
2007-10-23 00:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by some guy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has been three years and he still does this? I would move on.
2007-10-23 00:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋