should i save my self for marrage?

Question

I ve been waiting and I know my time is getting close. but what if i dont marry till im thirty? and what if he is not a virgin.

Answer 1

This, I know, can be a tough decision, no matter what your initial or religious or family values and beliefs.

I am saving myself for my husband and he is saving himself for me. Our wedding is June 7, 2008.

Saving yourself is a very special thing to many people. Of course, others see it as silly or annoying (to those more experienced wanting to interact with you in that way).

I encourage you to wait; however, this is completely up to you in every way. Only you can really make this decision.

Do imagine this: Being able to tell the one you love with all of your heart that he is going to be your only one. How special would that make him feel? How special would it make YOU feel if it were the other way around? Even if the man you find and marry decided not to save this precious gift for you (as it is a very difficult thing to do and people DO make mistakes) you can say that you saved it for him. It would quite possibly blow his mind!

I think it makes it more special when saved for that one person. You never have to worry about things that others have to worry about as much either. Unplanned pregnancy (well, maybe, but married you would more likely to be more equipped and ready), STDs, what each person thinks of you and your body, the emotional attachment that occurs (especially in females) to her first sexual partner (it would be your husband instead of a past man!).

THere are many more reasons to wait, but none so strong as just the want of pleasing one person in a very special way.

And, if you are 30 and a virgin, who cares? That just makes it even more special--that you had the self control to save yourself for so long.

But, like I said, in the end it is up to you. Just make sure you consider both sides and all of the consequences of BOTH paths.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I'd say yes. I'm 24, and just NOW found a good boyfriend that I'd like to marry (I'm really picky). He absolutely delights in the fact that I'm a virgin and haven't even skipped around that line. He calls me "so good" and "pure" and then gently kisses all over my face.

Now, I am a virgin because of my dedication to God, not necessarily my future husband (because what if I DIDN'T marry. I don't need a man to be happy). But, it seems to be a remarkable benefit. I mean, if I didn't marry, I really don't know what I'm missing (sex, because I'd never had it). And, if I do, I'll only have thoughts of my husband in bed, not some old boyfriend when an action triggers a memory.

Answer 3

It is your personal choice. I do have to say that finding a guy that's willing to wait for marriage will greatly decrease the chances of being with the one you truly want. You'll probably be settling for someone that shares just that value with you, whether or not you even truly have chemistry. I think waiting til marriage is a bad idea, but that's just my opinion. I wouldn't force my views on anyone, so do what you want.
I don't think waiting because the bible says so is smart. You should know as much as possible before you marry someone. You should know if you're sexually compatible. You should live together first to see if you can handle being together that much.

Answer 4

My advice would be to try to save yourself for marriage and be very cautious about giving up your virginity. Standards are good only as long as you abide by them.

The pressures on a man are different from those on a woman, and probably men are more likely to have lost their virginity before they are married. But women are more deeply affected by having sex than most men are, and that could be an issue if you don't marry the first man you have sex with.

It is a very personal decision. If a man loves you he will want you regardless of whether or not you are a virgin, but you will be better prepared to love him if you are one.

If you choose to have sex before you are married try to make sure the man you are giving up your virginity to is really worthy of that very precious gift.

Good luck and be patient. There's a lot to gain, but also a lot to lose.

Answer 5

Only you can answer that. The more important question is "why is it important to you". Is it because you want a man who has never shared sex with anyone else initially? If so (and this is just my honest opinion) I think you are putting too much emphasis on sex. Finding someone who will be loving, devoted, honest, understanding, pleasant, have good values, a good father to your children and really willing to share his life with you in every possible way is much, much more important. Then if you are lucky enough to have great sex together as well, then that would be icing on the cake.
If you or he or both had never had sex before then the marriage can be a virtual disaster waiting to happen and ruined before it is started.

Answer 6

Get married. I'm sure you'll find the right one. And you could always ask about virginity if you get close and he doesn't seem to mind. I'm sure if you really focus on who you know already, you might already have someone in mind that would be a great person for the job. Leave the worrying for later and enjoy life. Saying "what if?" only makes you prolong it.

Answer 7

Im BEGGING you, from a girl to a girl....DON'T WAIT. You need to explore your sexuality before settling down. Trust me, you can like a guy a lot, then you sleep with them and there's no chemistry and it ruins everything. As long as you're safe, there's nothing wrong with sex before marriage...come on, its 2007. You owe it to yourself, and you and your future husband will both be happier if you're both at your sexual peaks and are good in bed. I have sleeping with virgins...they have no idea what they're doing! Some people say "but with the right person, practice makes perfect".....thats prude BS. Sometimes, a guy just can't get it right, I'd hate for someone to be stuck with bad sex for life....oye!

Answer 8

ok, before everything, I did shop myself till marriage. My husband in spite of the incontrovertible fact that did not. Your asking if i could be indignant from that... the respond isn't any. that's a decision my husband made before we ever met. i don't carry it against him. seem, everybody is in charge for the ideas that they make in life. that's executed and over with. in case you shop dragging up the previous, then your relationship won't final very long. My husband and that i've got been uncomplicated approximately previous adventure as quickly as we first started relationship. He did not attempt to cover something from me approximately his previous. i did not cover something from him the two. definite, i became right into a virgin as quickly as we've been given married. He became into my first and is my in straightforward terms. (although a guy tried to rape me some years in the past... fortuitously he wasn't successfull.) i'm not mad at him for a decision he made years before we met. It does not be honest to him. If we have been relationship and he slept with yet another female, then it would be a diverse tale. desire this helps you.

Answer 9

Honey it's one thing for you to want to wait until your married but I wouldn't expect the guy to be a virgin too. If you want to wait though you should wait...that's not heard of much these days. Cool.

Answer 10

women have a hormone that is released when they have sex that essentially makes tehm fall in love with the guy. This is why women have trouble leaving the husband that beats them. Chances are this isn't the guy you are going to marry. ONce you do it, it gets harder and harder to say no.... your reputation to yourself is already tainted so what difference does it make if you realize 15 guys later that you're a hoe.

I say WAIT. I wish I had.

In response to the guy who said he wishe his wife had slept w/ someone before him so she'd have had more experience: Really, do you think you're the sex God? Why don't you take your experience and teach her? At least when you guys first had sex she didn't have anything better to compare it to. Gee... If i'd saved myself for him I'd probably be regretful myself!

Decide wether you think sex is something special or just mundane. Decide whether you think you're ready to get pregnant. I've gotten pregnant twice while using birth control properly. Take that 99.9%!