"How do you find the time?"?

Question

I have two daughters- 4 and 2. My 2 year old is currently going through potty training and my 4 year old is in preschool. I volunteer in her preschool class as often as I can and teach Sunday school, which involves making up a lesson plan every week. I have two dogs- one of which is just a puppy and I'm housebreaking her. I do some writing for a newsletter every week. I don't work outside of the home- so all the housework & cooking falls on me. I balance the checkbook. I do all the "at home" stuff. And it doesn't bother me at all. What DOES bother me is when people feel the need to ask how I find the time- it always makes me feel like they think I'm not doing as good a job as I should be with some things because I do too much. I don't work outside the home- I have NOTHING but time! Is it stupid of me to be bothered by this question? If not, how do I tell them this question bothers me without coming off rude?

Answer 1

What irritates me even more is that when I was a SAHM I made sure the house was spotless. I had to go back to work on graveyard shift (Refuse to put my son in daycare) and I still managed to take are of my then 2 year-old son, and the house (Somewhat). Well, my husband lost his job in June and is still looking for work and I have been working 3 jobs since then. I get so tired of family members saying things about the condition of the house. My husband does bare minimum and is about to get his butt kicked.

Answer 2

Well if I was to ask you that, it would be because I only have one (she's 6 months old and hardly sleeps through the day) and I have to pay someone to come in a few hours a week to clean because I'm so sleep deprived I can only manage minimum function. Night feeds are reasonable requests, but why do I need to get lumped with insomnia?! It's unlikely that anyone is accusing you of neglecting anything. They are probably jealous and feeling insecure because they collapse on the couch in a haze whenever their kiddies actually go to sleep rather than cleaning their house.

Answer 3

I really think that those people aren't making any judgements about you and how well you are - or are not - dealing with your different responsibilities. I do think that people who say that are genuinely amazed that you are so organized and efficient at what you do. Especially if they are working women (or men), it is likely even harder for them to imagine taking on that much responsibility at once.

Try not to let it bother you. Instead, think of it (if you can) as a compliment to your organizational skills and motivation to get things done. When someone makes such a comment, try saying something like "Thanks, it just takes having a plan and sticking to it" or something similar.