We all know she needs to go she is 87yrs old and her mind comes and goes but thats not why we are putting her there, its because she likes to leave the house and has no idea what she is doing or going. My uncle which is her son is tripping all he does is worry and bother me he lives way up north and I live down south. I am a nursing asst and i have worked in nursing homes for 7 yrs I try to tell him in a nice way to let go and let God but he is not hearing me. He knows i know what I am doing but he is getting on my nerves ringing my cell phone every hour. I am in the process of getting her set up but I am new to the area I am living in now and it takes time. I had to call the paramedics yesterday to come and get her because she was very combative and confused. so now she is in the hospital recieving treatment. can anyone shed some light on my situation? all comments needed. are there and websites I can go to for info?
2007-10-22 16:14:50 · 8 answers · asked by drightchristy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's a tough situation. No one wants to admit that their parent is in failing health, and he might just be in denial about that.
I agree, if she is wandering and doesn't know where she is, the safest thing might be to put her in a home. Hiring a sitter 24 hours a day can be very cost prohibitive, and if she is starting to get a bit combative, then that would far exceed the abillity of the average sitter.
Are you your grandmother's legal guardian? If so, that simplifies things dramatically. If your uncle is her legal guardian, then I'd try to get him to talk with her doctors so they can explain what's going on. He might not listen to you, but he stands a better chance of taking a doctor's advice (kind of a neutral third party).
Since he lives so far away, he might not be aware of the decline she is experiencing. It's one thing to hear about it, but quite another to see it for oneself. Is there anyway he could take a week or two to live with her, and see for himself what condition she is in? Ultimately, if she is unable to take care of herself, and he is unwilling to take care of her, a nursing home is probably the best solution.
Best of luck dealing with a delicate and challenging situation,
Rita
2007-10-23 09:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start along with her siblings can present a few aid as there are lots of greater than forty hours in per week. If 'grandma is financially competent she might don't forget an assisted residing facility. Most of those are so much nicer than nursing houses. It could also be viable to qualify your grandmother for residence well being care or potentially even a supplier. There are choices however even at satisfactory it's hard on all involved. She would possibly good be nearly the factor that the care you mom can furnish might be insufficient and now not within the satisfactory curiosity of your grandmother.
2016-09-05 20:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a lot of old folks, they basically go there to die. Family members throw them in there and never visit them or see them again, so they are lonely. It sounds like that is not the case with your family and that grandma probably isn't really aware of what is going on, but it still has sort of a negative tag that goes with it. It is a hard step to take in life almost like the first step of accepting death. This is maybe why everyone is having a hard time, because everyone knows she will probably never come back out.
2007-10-22 16:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh this is so sad.
I worked in nursing homes for years and witnessed the worst kinds of abuse and neglect upon those poor helpless people and because of that I wouldn't want that for my worst enemy.
For example the first day on the job at one home I went to swab out a patients mouth and found the inside of her mouth was filled with green slime thick and smelled really bad then I find out that no one had cleaned her mouth in a very long time and since she couldn't speak or walk all she could do is lay in bed and suffer in silence.
Then I went to rotate another patient and found awful bed sores infected and going all the way into her hips and back because no one had rotated her or messaged her in a very long time.
And then there was a guy who had head gear on and no one had bathed him in over a year because they didn't want to remove the equipment from his head.
I ran out of shaving lotion one day and went to get more and another CNA asked me why I wanted it and I told her because I'm shaving Mr. (his name) and I ran out she then said oh I'll show you how we do things around here and she took me into his bathroom and dry shaved him right in front of me causing his face to bleed.
I once got chewed out for giving a patient an extra blanket because she was cold.
I've worked in several different hospitals and all of them were horrible and even witnessed someone die because of it.
Your Grandma won't be happier anywhere else and she won't be safer either.
Maybe you could keep the doors locked at all times in a way she can't escape and pay someone to keep an eye on her while your gone.
At least then you'll know she's safe.
2007-10-22 16:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by Adelaide B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he wants to take care of her he can move down to her or you can ship her to him. But grandma has to agree. If that don't work, she is going into the home.
2007-10-22 16:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be nice if all her children and grandchildren help take care of her at home. I understand why your uncle is upset and I understand that you get tired of taking care of her all by yourself, but all her children and grandchildren should help.
2007-10-22 16:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by Highland 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. If he is so concerned about his own mother, he would move closer to her and help in her care!
2007-10-22 16:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by itsallgood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer your phone.
2007-10-22 16:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋