He's been deployed for ten months and when he calls I actually look forward to getting off the phone because we seem to never have anything to say to each other. Its the same with emails and letters. Is this normal?
2007-10-22 16:06:02 · 14 answers · asked by ME 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
YES! My husband was deployed twice and especially the second time we were able to chat online a couple of hours most days. So by the time he would call there was nothing left to say, almost akward. Even the messages got pretty boring with day to day stuff. But as soon as he was coming home it was all very exciting and once we were together again it was wonderful. Don't worry!
2007-10-22 16:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My am a military spouse going on 6 years. My husband has not been to Korea but has been deployed plenty of times. I'm sure you will hear stories of other places besides Korea. It is just part of military life. But not all husbands cheat. My husband has never cheated and I trust him 100%. You can't always believe the stories everybody tells you. They might be true for some men but not all. If you start thinking negative, it's going to only cause problems for you two. I would just let it go. Only you know your husband. Why do you think these military guys get such a bad wrap when they aren't all bad. And yes, my husband can go without sex. It does not bother him.
2016-04-09 22:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I almost never talk on the phone. Maybe once a month to hear each other's voice (maybe more often on this deployment because we got vonage). But we talk almost every day (as his schedule allows) via instant messenger. I also send him MANY offlines during the day, and emails too. When we dont talk, I am always writing down things I want to talk to him about. They arent really in the loop about the news, so I keep him up to date on what is going on in our area and the rest of the world. LOTS of I LOVE YOUs and I MISS YOUs! If there are any medical issues with the kids, bills to take care of. Heck if nothing else we play a game of yahoo gin or cribbage.
If you arent looking forward to his calls and feel like you arent getting anything out of it, then dont talk on the phone. It should be something you want and if you arent bubbling over with excitement just to hear his voice and have a long list of things to talk about, then just IM or email each other. But work while you ARENT talking to write things down that you want to talk about. And before anyone reads the "bubbling over with excitement" and thinks I am a naive newbie, I have 2 deployments under my belt and just started my third. I KNOW how to maintain a close relationship with my husband, and communication is key. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-23 00:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a military wife but I have several cousins who are. The thing that they stress is just be supportive and stand by him - he'll be home soon. No marriage is perfect and so I would assume that this type of thing is just one of the down-times - hopefully to be followed by something wonderful when he gets home.
My husband is not in the military and we have a lot to talk about because we have a lot of the same interests and do a lot of things together. Right now yours and your husband's interests and activities are very different so it would make sense that you wouldn't have as much to talk about.
If it really bothers you, there are things you can do - like, make a list of things that are going on in the family and community that way when you are on the phone with him you have things to say and don't forget anything that you wanted to tell him. He would probably enjoy a taste of normal life while you are on the phone with him telling him those things - it would be a breath of fresh air.
He probably won't have as much to share in an attempt to not scare you so don't be surprised if you do more talking than he does.
And like the other answerer said, just make sure he knows you love him - that will do a ton for both of you.
Just remember that whatever you are going through he may be going through, too, with the stresses of war added to it.
2007-10-22 16:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by Roxcy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
After having been in the Military for 10 yrs and made 5 deployments. yes it is normal, but when he gets home, don't shut him off or out, just as he should not do to you. A marriage can fail quite quickly if there are no communications. I saw to many fall flat on their faces after coming back from deployments. Of it starts to get that way and you really love each other get counseling asap... I didn't and It cost me dearly
2007-10-22 16:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by back2skewl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are usually the same way when he's deployed. We just wanted to hear each others voice, and didn't really care what we said. It's like this most deployments for us. When it gets closer to time for him to come home we have more to talk about, and then when he's home we're fine after adjusting to one another. Try not to worry about it. When he's back, try not to shut him out, because it can be disastrous for a marriage.
2007-10-22 16:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by .. 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal! lol....my love was posted somewhere where he could get to a phone or pc every couple of days. We chatted so much that we'd have to agree to not talk for more than a few days so that we'd have something to talk about! :)
Write a list like someone else mentioned! It's a great way to get to know more about your husband, and a great way to get away from real life and fantasize about something else for a bit. Even if it's just for a few minutes.
2007-10-22 17:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah I think so. I was always glad when my husband called when my kids were home and awake and could talk too b/c I ran out of things to say. But once he got home neither one of us could shut up! I guess when they are gone you want to avoid the bad or mundane aspects of life and that can make for a very short conversation on some days!
2007-10-22 16:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
aww sweetie... yes its very norma.... my husbands stationed in Cuba, and believe me..i get to talk to him alot, and lately its been " i love you.... i miss you.... " and thats about it... its SOO dull sometimes..... i still love my husband-- dearly. we've been married for 8 1/2 years... :) maybe u should try to start a list.. put it on the fridge... think of some things that would make ok conversation... for me and my husband? the kids, new photographs ive taken {im a photographer}, family drama that DOESNT hurt me and the kids....
if you have any more questions, feel free to give me a holler :)
2007-10-22 16:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by asailorsstar 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sure it's normal.
I just wanted to hear my husband's voice, even if there wasn't much to talk about.
Just cherish each time you get to talk to him.
2007-10-22 16:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by Brianna's Mommy 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋