English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

Sometimes I feel like the only reason (or one of the main reasons) I am with my boyfriend still is because I don't want him out of my life. I have known him for 6 years and we have had lots of memories together. I don't see him NOT in my life right now and it really scares me to think of him not being in my life. I wonder if I am just afraid to let go? What are your thoughts....

2007-10-22 15:54:48 · 36 answers · asked by Jenny 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

36 answers

I would not ask that question...what I would ask is .... Do you love him unconditionally and can stay true to your relationship. Think about that...if you do and he does for you than he will be in your life...

2007-10-22 15:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by ShannonMargaret 2 · 0 0

No.

You might lose him out of your life if you break up the bf-gf relationship in the wrong way. But that may not be any worse than living a lie about the relationship. And may be better in the long run.

There are some good reference books on how to break up and still be friends. Focus on the Family (www.family.org) has some very good pamphlet-level materials on this area, and can recommend some good books that treat the subject in greater detail.

He may be hurt, but that is better than maintaining a relationship you no longer find the needed depth in.

I have lady friends who have been close and then we went our ways, but still are friends.

And i have had lady friends who left the relationship wrathfully, and obviously will not ever be even the most casual of friends.

But you do need to be careful; a guy's ego is easily bruised. And if you want him in your life but not necessarily the focus, tread carefully. Should be able to be done unless he is emotionally immature, in which case you would be better off with him gone anyhow.

I think you are afraid of being left alone, so you need to prepare the transition with some one or ones with whom you can share and move on, and not necessarily guys either, if he is not mature enough to be just a friend.

Don't let him blackmail you into a relationship you are no longer comfortable in. There will be better for you later.

Good luck; be prepared.

2007-10-22 16:17:53 · answer #2 · answered by looey323 4 · 0 0

I think u already know the answer to this question.
The one and only reason you should be with someone is because you are in love with them, keeping the relat going if ur not is dangerous to both of you. If you become just friends then will be still be an important part of ur life and you will still have ur memories, but if u keep going in a doomed relat there will be problems between u and when u do eventually break up, you may not be able to have him still as a friend because of fights, things you have said or just too much pain.
Good luck and hope it works out for you

2007-10-22 16:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by katie 3 · 0 0

No, staying together just because you are afraid to let go is not good enough. You deserve to be happy, and if he doesn't do it for you now after 6 years it is probably not going to get any better. I don't know how old you are, or if you have kids, but you definitely need to think about making a change. Otherwise, you may wind up spending a long time being miserable.

2007-10-22 16:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by dr k 2 · 0 0

I think the question here are you in love with your boyfriend?? Or are you just staying with him because you don't think you could ever get another guy in your life? Or maybe you are just used to him because he's always been there, but you arent' really in love with him? If you are not in love with him, then I think you know what you should do as far as your relationship goes. If there is one bit of advice that I could ever give, is if you have ANY doubts what so ever.....get out. If there is NO love there, get out. Because if there is no love now, then marriage is not going to be a picnic, especially with children thrown into the equation. I have been there done that. I was engaged once before to a guy I date almost as long as you, but I felt no love there anymore and I ENDED it, 6 months before the wedding date too. It is a very hard thing, but the best thing I ever did. I am so glad I did it because he and I would have ended in a divorce. I am now with the RIGHT person, so maybe this situation hits the nail on the head for you. Ultimately, follow your heart. If you aren't in love with him, end it.

2007-10-22 16:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0 0

Is that the ONLY reason you want to stay? Do you love him (in that way) or does it seem like your more friends than lovers now? What made you think that way? or is he just a bad boyfriend does he cheat on you or abuse you in anyway? I'm a big fan of lists and I don't think there's enough info here for me to truthfully answer your question. But I think you should make a list of pro's and con's of staying with him...and don't hide this from him either if you haven't already you need to tell him how you feel now, doesn't necessarily mean your breaking up but maybe somethings going on that neither of you are aware of that you could work on or maybe he's feeling the same way too you just don't know it, either way talk to him about things, make a list and work it out.

2007-10-22 16:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Ruthie 7 · 0 0

Im kinda in the same situation, and NO its not a good reason to stay together but I cant say anything because I do it too. Why is it so hard to just let go?? I guess because we are afraid of what is out there and change in hard, no matter how old or young you are. Good Luck, and dont waste your life, go out and TRY to have fun

2007-10-22 15:58:44 · answer #7 · answered by nervousenergy73 5 · 0 0

It is a feeling of security you are holding onto, since you fail to mention that you love him. Perhaps U think of him as your best friend, rather than a lover, or even a significant other. You live with this best friend & share lasting memories together, but if he would decide it's time to move on what bonds do U have to stop him? As you only provided a small part of one-half of the whole story, I can only guess at what's really occurring in your life. Best wishes to you & good luck.

2007-10-22 16:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by Andy K 6 · 0 0

That's not a bad reason to stay together, but are you saying you don't love him? Or could it be that after 6 years you're so used to each other that (though the love is certainly there) you've gotten lost in the routine of day-to-day living? It happens to every couple who endures past the initial "lovey-dovey" crust of relationships to reach the inner core of togetherness...but your realization that you want him in your life is a reaffirmation of the depth of what you've built together...even if you can't see if for looking at the electric bill. Good luck to you both. You're further ahead than many ever get.

2007-10-22 16:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0 0

It sounds like you're just afraid to let go, and that's not a good reason for staying together. You say you don't see him NOT in your life - do you see being with him for the rest of your life?

2007-10-22 15:58:20 · answer #10 · answered by Judy 7 · 0 0

I understand what you are going through I been married 4 years and feel like im bored with my relationship but am too afraid to start all over again and be alone. Sometimes the thoughts of being single come t mind but then I realize we been through a lot together and It might be worth fixing and dealing with it.

2007-10-22 15:58:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers