Nice way to say "RSVP or you are a 'No'"?

Question

OK, so of course we have some rude individuals who have not RSVP'd for whatever reason (lost the RSVP, too lazy, or just plain rude).

I want to send out a postcard to nicely request them to freaking RSVP and that if they do not, we will consider them a "no" and there will be no seating for them on our big day.

Something like "Did you forget to RSVP? Please let us know, by phone, email, or a postal letter/postcard, if you intend on attending our wedding on **date time and location**. Non respondents will be considered a "no" for attendance."

Or something like that.

Yes? No? I think it sounds a little catty, but they are being the rude ones (or forgetful). I basically want something that reminds those forgetful to RSVP, and those rude enough to not RSVP to either let us know ASAP, or will be considered "No" for attendance.

If not, do you have a better way to ask? Thanks a bunch!

Pook... We've done that to most of those who did not RSVP... The problem is some of the people we invited we only have their mailing address and not their phone number. I do agree though, but in a few cases it can't be done :)

Captain... That IS the case, so maybe I'll just edit it a bit more to indicate we need a yes or no RSVP because of seating and catering. Thanks!

Paige... Some we do not have phone numbers for, only mailing addresses.

Answer 1

Blame your need for RSVPs on catering concerns...so that you can adequately accommodate your specific number of guests. Then you don't need an acerbic reminder because everyone wants to make sure they can eat.

Answer 2

It is rude of them not to RSVP you are paying for them to be there. The correct thing to do is assign someone like your mother to call those that you have phone numbers for. She should say something like. We haven't recieved an RSVP from you and need a final head count for either seating or eating purposes. This way you get them on the spot and they can't ignore you, plus you don't have to be the one in an awkward situation. For the people that you don't have their phone # send out a second RSVP card with the same wording as the first one you sent. You shouldn't have to ask more than once. Now assign someone to be at your wedding that can serve as a bouncer if you will. Give them a list of people who said no and who didn't respond. If it is for seating at the ceremony give it to the ushers and have them explain the situation and those people can wait somewhere non embarrassing and at the last minute can be given any leftover seats or stand in the back. If it is for the reception have someone near the place cards. When someone can;'t find their name they will check the list and explain the situation. They can chose to stay and not eat. Have some extra chairs waiting for them to sit around not at a table. Hope this helps. Of course you can change parts of this depending on your situation. Good luck. Whatever happens remember it is your day and just don't sweat it.

Answer 3

Rudeness of one sort does not justify rudeness of another. What you're suggesting is rude. Also, don't assume they were lazy or rude. The postal service does lose things. For those that you have phone numbers, call and ask if they plan to attend (say something nice like "we haven't received an RSVP card for you. Perhaps it's been lost in the mail. We'd love to have you at our wedding. Are you planning to attend?"). If you don't have a phone number, then I suppose it's ok to send a postcard, but ask nicely--similarly to the phone call. Invite them to phone you so it's easy and quick, and you don't risk something else becoming lost. Part of being a good hostess is being gracious when your guests are lax in their own social graces.

Answer 4

How annoying! I am praying this I don't get alot of these.
As much as I would love to send out a letter saying "Ummm...excuse me? RSVP lately?", it could be considered possibly just as if not more rude than there blatant disregard of your 'RSVP by' date.
You said you don't have phone numbers for these people? I would suggest calling around, maybe a friend or family member has someone's number? If nothing else, look it up in the phone book. Personally I feel that if they are important enough to have at your wedding, maybe you should have some kind of access to theit phone number? (Maybe not, I don't know the situation).
If you absoultely cannot by any means find a phone number for them and you have enough time to write a letter (and have it delivered to them)then I would suggest POLITELY asking if they planned to attend the wedding since you have not heard from them. I would not say "if you don't answer then you have no place to sit"....it's a little harsh. Possibly provide your phone number and email address in the letter and encourage they contact you ASAP rather than trying to find your original invitation and mail the RSVP card to you.
While you have every right to be ticked, be gracious. Explain how having them attend means alot to you and you anticipate their quick response.
If you don't have enough time to send a letter though, call around to their friends and ask if they heard about them attending. Guests usually talk to others who were invited and discuss who will be attending. If not, you have to be honest with your caterer and let them know that you have XX number of guests whom you are unsure of their RSVP status. Caterers usually set tables for about 5% more than your final number anyways.

Answer 5

Other Ways To Say Rsvp

Answer 6

Well I think you should call them and politely ask if they are going to attend your wedding or not. Say you need a final count in for catering reasons like others have already said. And you not having some phone numbers, surely if you invited them to your wedding, either you, family or friends have a number to get in touch with them. Do a little investigating and call them, its your day and if you want it perfect then but a little effort into it. I would be freaking out if I didn't have their phone numbers.

Answer 7

If you're going to be nice enough to send out a reminder card, I'd suggest something along the lines of what you said only, instead of a 'no' we must give a firm count to the caterer so if you're coming, we must have your positive rsvp.

Congrats & good luck.

Answer 8

Hi Terri:

Yes, that is totally maddening and rude!!

I would go ahead with the postcard as you have it stated....there is no other way around it. If you have phone numbers, simply call....but the ones with only addresses, you will have to send the "reminder" card!

Good luck!

Answer 9

I think the only "nice" way is to call them and ask politely if they forgot or lost the invitation. If they're coming to your wedding they must be friends or relatives that you should be kind to no matter what their behavior. Be the better person and smile and be gracious and ask nicely.

Answer 10

RSVP reminder.

Date and location.

Unfortunately we will not be able to accommodate unexpected guests.

Thank you in advance for your prompt response.