drugs???? how to help someone...PLEASE HELP!!?

Question

I have a very dear friend, of 18 years, who is very deep into drugs. He smokes weed several times a day, takes shrooms, drinks a lot..He has done a lot worse in the past, but he "says" he doesn't do that stuff anymore. I absolutely love him to death. we have tried to talk about it several times and he says "I love weed and I am not going to quit! " then he turns around and tells me that I am the best friend he has. Sometimes I am able to "guilt" him into not doing things. I really want to help him, but I am not sure how. I only want the best for him. i want him to have a really good life and not live in a fog all the time. He wants to date me and I tell him that I can't because we are on different pages as far as drugs and the like. I do love him and actually would be very into us being together, but I feel a much stronger need to help him. For some reason I feel like I am supposed to help him--it's in my gut. I just don't know how or what to say. We are almost 30 now???

Answer 1

How Can You Break Free From Drugs?

AS THE drug slowly took effect, Ann waited for the first rush of excitement. She had experienced it many times before. She would lay back, close her eyes, and seemingly melt into a state of semiconsciousness, oblivious of everything around her.

But this time it was different. As her eyes closed and the euphoric surge consumed her, she passed into unconsciousness. Her breathing became labored and her heart palpitated irregularly. She came very close to dying.

“I woke up in the hospital,” recalls Ann, her face reflecting a look of gratitude for the fact that she is alive today to tell her story. “I had several close calls, but fortunately for me I received the help I needed before I killed myself.”

Ann was indeed fortunate. However, thousands of other young people are not. Each year an alarming number of young people die from taking drugs. Many others want to break free from drugs but fail after making an attempt at a drug-free life. Why is this true? The publication Recovery and Relapse provides a clue: “Emotional sobriety in reality is our goal, not mere physical abstinence.”

In agreement with this, one counselor for a large drug rehabilitation center in New York told Awake!: “The secret to breaking free from drugs is not simply to stop using drugs but rather to change your way of thinking, your whole approach to life. You must come to the point where you enjoy life more without drugs than you did with them.”

But how can one accomplish this? According to a number of major drug rehabilitation programs, breaking free from drugs must involve a physical and emotional recovery, to which we might add a spiritual recovery. All are necessary for a happy, drug-free existence.

Physical Recovery

The first step is the physical recovery. (A future issue of Awake! will deal with the emotional and spiritual recovery.) Of course, this would involve stopping the use of drugs. If the person is physically dependent on drugs, he likely will experience withdrawal symptoms, including increased anxiety, shaking, nausea, insomnia, psychosis, or convulsions.—Compare Proverbs 23:31, 32.

“I was extremely nervous,” recalls Allen, who spent 12 years of his life misusing drugs. “When I first stopped using drugs, the withdrawal was so bad I couldn’t even drive a car.” In light of the dangers involved, it would be wise to enlist the aid of a competent physician who is familiar with drug detoxification.

Where a person is physically or emotionally dependent on drugs, most drug rehabilitation professionals highly recommend that he abstain completely from all drugs that can have a mood-changing effect on him. Mood changers are drugs that alter one’s mental and emotional capacities. Simply stated, they are drugs that make you drowsy, sleepy, calm, energetic, nervous, more alert, or cause hallucinations. These would include tranquilizers, narcotics, sedatives, alcohol, even over-the-counter nonprescription drugs such as cold remedies or cough medicines, which may contain such mood changers as antihistamine or alcohol.

Why must all such drugs be avoided by the former drug addict? According to one drug rehabilitation publication: “The only way to keep from getting or continuing a habit is not to take that first fix, pill or drink. . . . We put great emphasis on this for we know that when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again.”

To illustrate: Consider the example of a recovering heroin user. What might happen if, after abstaining from heroin for some time, he begins to drink alcohol? He would be in real danger of reactivating his compulsion to get high. And once the compulsion to get high is rekindled, it’s very difficult for him not to return to drugs. “Compulsion,” states Recovery and Relapse, “that once having started the process with one ‘fix,’ one pill, or one drink, we cannot stop through our own power of will.”—Compare Proverbs 23:35.

That’s what happened to Allen, who had abstained from drugs for over a year. During a hospital stay, he was administered a narcotic painkiller. The drug activated his compulsion to get high. With what result? “When I got out of the hospital, I drank like a madman,” recalls Allen. “Eventually I returned to all kinds of street drugs.”

The Lure of Feeling Good

To understand this better, it’s helpful to consider the primary reason for using drugs—to feel good. This is exactly what mood-changing drugs are designed to do. In some cases, they serve a beneficial purpose. For example, what if you were in severe pain from injuries sustained in a serious automobile accident? Your doctor may prescribe a narcotic painkilling drug to help you feel better while you recover. Besides killing the pain, the drug may also relax you by reducing your anxiety. This is due to the mood-changing properties of the narcotic, which can be helpful to the recovery of a patient who has been exposed to serious trauma.—Compare Proverbs 31:6.

But it’s different with the drug addict. How so? Well, why does he use drugs? Is he physically ill? Has he suffered severe injuries? In the overwhelming majority of cases, he is simply seeking the mood-changing effect of the drug. And why? He may start out taking drugs just for fun, for the pleasure of getting high. But he soon learns that the mood-altering properties of drugs can instantly (although temporarily) relieve the emotional discomforts of life. And the more he uses drugs, the more dependent he becomes on them to escape things in his life that make him feel uncomfortable. It is the lure of this escape that brings him back to the drug for more and more of its mood-changing effect.

So the problem in recovery from drug misuse is not only the physical addiction to the drug but also the mental dependency on the mood-changing property of the drug. For that reason, after withdrawal, the recovering drug addict must work on the long-term problem of learning to live a happy life without drugs.

Total Abstention a Must!

So the bottom line is this: Total abstention from drugs is essential to recovery. The Bible tells us: “If your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off.” (Matthew 5:30) Yes, it’s best to ‘cut off,’ or make a clean break from, anything that can stumble us in life. Wouldn’t that apply to something as potentially deadly as the misuse of drugs?—1 Peter 2:11.

But once the drug user makes the decision to abstain from drugs, how can he stick to his decision? The Bible answers, “Be transformed by making your mind over.” (Romans 12:2) Yes, he must change his way of thinking, his whole approach to life. He must stop seeking escape by means of the mood-altering drugs and learn to face the discomforts of life confidently, doing so in a way that actually lets him enjoy life despite any hardships that may come his way.

Answer 2

I'd really like to say no. But the way things are going with my writing, I can't make any promises. I'm pretty sure I'll refrain, though =] I'm turning over a new leaf now that I'm in a new town with new people. I agree with Reader about drugs being misunderstood. And I also agree that they probably won't have the effect you're looking for. That being said, I think that it also depends on the drug that you're taking. I don't really like doing drugs. I've done a few, but nothing terribly hard. Some prescription medications, weed, absinthe, and salvia. I think that some of the sensations that I've had have definitely given me some great ideas for stories. Salvia (which *is* legal here, once you're 18. I'm not, so I guess it's a moot point, but whatever), for instance, was pretty strange. I wrote a short story based around the feelings that I had in that five minute period of "what the fxck?" I can't see myself writing while actually on the drug, though. Just getting ideas from former drug induced experiences. Anyhow, people probably aren't going to like this answer. But I figure I may as well be honest. I honestly think that I've gone through my "wild" period, and I'm calming down now. I don't think I need drugs to find inspiration, it'll come when the time is right.

Answer 3

I know how it feels my partner used to be heavily in to drugs and a few of his friends still are. If he regards you as his best friend then tell him how his doing drugs makes you feel, tell him how upsetting it is and how worried you are. Also explain that it would be different if he didnt do the drugs you two may have a future together. Its really hard to watch this kind of self -destructive behaviour, most people do grow out of it over time, some use it as a substitute for other things. Do you know why he uses it. Does he acknowledge the consequences of his actions or does he just not care.
According to addiction studies if a person does not want to stop taking drugs and they are happy with the way things are then they wont. There has to be an incentive, a reason to stop. There has to be a point where the negative effects of taking drugs starts to outweight the positives and without that they wont consider doing it.
All you can do is explain how it affects you, highlight how it affects his life and what the possible consequences could be, i.e getting arrested, effects on his health, the long -term mental health effects i.e depression, delusions, paranoia, also legal consequences of arrest and also the possibility of losing your friendship further down the line.

In the end he will only stop if he wants to, and though it is hurtful and though it is frustrating you just have to be there for when that point happens, though it wont be easy. It might be good to do some reading on the subject to get some ideas. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

There are groups that do interventions, but it's best you do this only if you know he's not violent and won't sue you for false imprisonment. You may need to get away from the relationship for a while. Sometime that can also be a wake-up call for you. You need to stop letting him drag you along for another 15 years. I know that may seem difficult, but would you let anyone else treat you this way? You sound like a caring person and caring people deserve to recieve what they give. You will have to decide which of these to do in the end but they're all better that watching him die.

Answer 5

Well my boyfriend used to be a drug addict. He was because it was the only release for him from reality. He was trying to escape is past and his memories. Get out of the depression.
Maybe your friend is depressed...Try to find out, and if he is, talk to him about it.
Offer him comfort.
Ask him why he needs the drugs. Maybe he's bored with life? If he keeps doing drugs, he'll eventually lose everything.
A little bit of weed every now and again won't do him any harm, but being addicted to anything is never healthy.
Maybe suggest councelling or rehab, or an ultimatum.
Say, if he doesn't quit the drugs, you'll stop talking to him and seeing him.

Answer 6

You know I will be honest with you. I think you are doing everything you can, by being honest with him and telling him that you do not approve of it and you will not date him until he stops. As you said, you are both almost 30 and he is an adult and only he has the power to change. No matter how much you try, he will not stop until he is ready, if he ever is ready. I have friends that are close to 40 that still do it, and I am social with them, but I am against what they do. I love them and I wish them the best, but nothing I do can make them change their ways. I don't know if I answered your question, but I wish you and him the best and I hope that he will eventually realize that there is more to life that being high, and that things are alot more fun when you can enjoy them clearly.

Answer 7

Best thing for you to do is to take him to Detox and leave him there to dry out and when he comes out be there for him. Also when he's in detox visit him as much as you can. But give him an ultimatium or else he doesn't care for no one but himself. What you need to do is lose the loser because if he really wanted help he would have already have gotten it. But if you want to waste a couple of years so you can be satisfied that he isn't going to change well all I can say is GOOD LUCK. Want to caht more just IM me anytime

Answer 8

Hi, this is a really tough situation. You only want to do what's best for your friend, but part of the process to healing is the refusal to quit. You need to sit down and have a serious chat with him. Say something along the lines of "{{his name}} I love you and I want to do only what's best for you, me, and us. I only care about your safety and well being, and our relationship. I really want to make this work....but until you get some help, maybe go to counseling and to rehab then I don't think anything is going to work between us. I love you and I want you to do this not only for me, but yourself. If you really love me back you would do this for me because I can't stand to see you in this situation. I like it when you are sober, and not high on drugs. I want to help you, and I beg you just listen to me just this once and let me. I want to help you save your life and turn it around. I'm doing this for you, so please...I can't force you but I need you to do this for me, you, and us. Remember I will be there for you every step of the way to support you and help you if you need me. Can we take this step in our lives an help you recover?" Hopefully that might help you a bit. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want......but you have to try. I really hope this helps you! Good luck to you and your friend!!!
Maddie <3

Answer 9

You need to turn on the tough love. Give him the ultimatum of choosing you or that lifestyle with no exceptions. Sometimes it takes the reality of losing something or someone close to you before the person hits bottom. Promise him that you will support him in getting help if he chooses you. I know it will be hard but you will be fighting a losing battle forever if you enter into a relationship with addiciton involved.

Good luck---it won't be easy but he needs you to be firm with him.

Answer 10

Noone can build a good life for themselves when they spend time either enjoying or recovering from any drug's effects. (Really, think about the time involved getting high, enjoying the high and, then, recovering.) Not to mention the money spent on the stuff. If you want to have a good life for yourself, spend it with someone who is into being productive and healthy.

Answer 11

Guess what he is the only one that can help himself. If he really does like you and wants to date you give him an ultimatum and see if that helps. You can probably even threaten him by not talking to him until he clean up try it out the majority of drug abusers have to hit rock bottom before they realized how mess up their lives have been good luck