stepchildren!!?

Question

can you as a person love them them as your own ?

btw i don't have any but most people i know have !!! thanx

Answer 1

I have a twelve year old step daughter, I've been with her dad since she was two, she doesn't live with us, but is with us four days a week (sometimes more) and always has been.

I love her, and I would do anything for her, and frequently do, she knows she is always welcome here and if ever she wants to move in with us permanently then she's just got to say the word. As for loving her as much as my own children, no, I don't think thats possible, because there's a different kind of bond there, though I do treat them all the same, and they are all as equally important!

She is always at my house though, and everytime we go anywhere as a family, (day trips, holidays, etc) she always comes, in fact she does and always has spent more time with us than her mum, who really couldn't give a sh*t, which sends me completely nuts by the way!

Answer 2

Boy, that's a tough one. I think it depends on what age the child is when they come to you. If you raise a step child from infancy then I would say Yes, you will love them as your own because the step parent and the infant would have a chance to bond. However, If they come to you much later as a preteen or teen then I would say No because the bonding that takes place during infancy will have never occured. As the parent, you would love them and even intensely, but it would not be as easy to say you love them as your own. Another reason it would be difficult for the simple fact that most step kids won't let you. They also won't love the step parent like they would their own and they shouldn't be expected too either. I was a step child and although I loved my step father it wasn't the kind of love I had for my mother. I also had step sisters and brothers who felt the same for my mother. Also, I know that my mother loved her step children, but not like she loved me. It's natural to love your own in a different way or to love a child that you've raised from infancy. Maternal and Paternal love is learned as well as natural. There are certain experiences that you must have to develop that bond that so many parents talk about. I never really realized this until I had children of my own. So, for the most part my answer is no because step parents and step children don't have the opportunity to bond like biological parents and their children. I also believe it is natural and it's okay. It also doesn't mean they are not loved. Just loved in a different way.

Answer 3

I can't answer from personal experience either but I would love any child in my care - whether the bond with a stepchild may have to *grow* rather than be there "naturally" I don't know.
The main thing is that children are cared for and know that they are which goes for all children - how can you explain parents who neglect,even harm their own children?
"As your own" is the telling phrase - I would say "no" but you could raise them just as well as your own taking that into account and maybe even compensating for it.
It's a bit like when asked if,secretly,you had a favourite child - I did but I *never* showed it and he was the most difficult maybe because he had my personality more than the others!
Well maybe a stepchild of mine would have been more alike to me (she may even have been a girl!).
Oh well - good question - you have set me thinking!

Answer 4

I think i could. I know i would not treat them awful though.
My 11 year old cousin died monday from a car crash that was caused by her step-mother. Her step-mother mistreated her so badly (Had i known what i know now i would have done something myself).
If you want to read the story about it then here is a link: http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=50163


She was driving 80 miles an hour, no seatbelts, there were 6 kids in the vehicle, 4 of them were my blood relatives. They are going to get her for homicide just as soon as she gets out of the hospital which should be soon cause nothing is wrong with her. She is keeping herself in shock, she is not awake but her time is coming.

Please people do not treat your kids or other people's kids terrible.

Answer 5

Yes!!! same goes for the children being able to love the step parent as if their own.

Answer 6

I believe I could. Why not? If they were pleasant children, and I loved their father, I would try very hard to foster a loving relationship with them. Blood is thicker than water and your children will always be your children. A stepparent is wise to be good to her steppchildren, especially when she loves her mate.

Answer 7

Yes you love them as your own. They are in your home and you take care of them just like your own children and they are part of someone that you love already.

Answer 8

I've got 2 daughters , 6 grandchildren, 3 step daughters,5 step grandchildren and 11 'extended families' grandchildren and my partner and I love them all and try never to treat any of them any differently. Sometimes it's hard when one of them does something wrong -but they quickly learn OUR rules and abide by them,regardless who their mum is otherwise.........(they believe we still use corporal punishment -hehehe!)

Answer 9

I think so , after you get to know them ands especially if you have kids and understand the great love o f having a child

Answer 10

Sure I did with an ex I had.He had a 9 year old daughter and I loved her to death,Still to this day (even though we aren't together anymore) I love and care for her and would do anything for her if she needed me.