My fiancee and I have had plenty of intimacy in the past but lately she seems to not want to even think about any type of physichal intimacy. She told me she didn't want to have sex because she fears becoming pregnant, and I respect that. But there are plenty we can do without getting her pregnant but she doesn't seem to want to do anything. She's not cheating on me, and she has told me time and time again that she is fine with having physichal contact as long as it's not sex. But, she keeps avoiding it and always has an excuse. I wont leave her because I love her to death, but do you have any ideas to help me through this? Intimate physichal contact is important to me in our relationship and this rejection has got me very depressed.
2007-10-22 14:37:24 · 6 answers · asked by Jimmy Lee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh man! That is a huge problem for men. Sex with the person we love is a huge part of our relationship. It shows us that we are loved and accepted by our partner and is very damaging when constantly rejected. Though I am not saying this is true for you, The same thing happened with my first wife. ...we had 2 children, but we didn't want more. So sex became rare then none. Looking to improve our situation I decided on a vasectomy. After it was completed and healed up, nothing changed. Men, with our huge egos and bravado, can only take so much rejection before it shatters and we become demasculated. Brother, Tell your soon to be wife how it makes ou feel. You might want to try Counseling. If it really is the getting pregnant thing then try doubling up on contraception... By the way, if you use condoms and spermicide, its 2 different forms that are 99% fool proof apart. Over 100% eaffective together and so improbable that even a non betting person would take that bet knowing they couldn't loose. You really need to get to the root of this.. the truth, not an excuse. Hope that helps... just communicate with her. Best of luck.
2007-10-22 14:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Burnsey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The biggest problem men have is understanding what a woman considers intimacy to mean. Men think it means sex. A woman gets tired of being a sperm bank (where you guys make your deposit and leave).
We consider intimacy to be handholding, sitting next to each other while watching TV, smiling and occasionally hugging just because it feels good to hug. With NO SEX INTENDED! If you give us a hug, we don't want to feel obligated to have to give you more.
Back off for a while. Touch the "right" spots (try an elbow or a shoulder or a cheek once in a while). Don't go near the chest or genitals or butt. Let her decide when she's feeling appreciated enough to give you more.
2007-10-22 21:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by equal_opposites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things come to mind, but I admit I could be way off base. (As you're no doubt aware, women are very complex creatures, and any guy who tells you he understands them totally is lying or deluded). But as you get closer to marriage, or your actual wedding day she may want to discontinue having full sex so that it will feel "fresh" and is as "virginal" as possible under the circumstances....that's a romance thing, and romantic notions about their wedding day is many a girl's dream since childhood. Another possibility is that she's trying to assess for herself the spiritual depth of your relationship by keeping sex from clouding it up for awhile. (Again, I could easily be way off base here, so why don't you ask her in earnest....but not in the bedroom; that has an implied pressure to it that will keep her from answering honestly. Talk about it over lunch one day, or while you're up watching a movie or something. She might really appreciate that). Good luck.
2007-10-22 21:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a big problem that, most likely, will not go away when you get married. As far as getting pregnant is concerned, obviously there's birth control, but I'm sure she doesn't want to hear that. I hate to say it, but this should be a very big red flag in your decision to marry this woman.
2007-10-22 21:42:26 · answer #4 · answered by Stephen L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her some space and don't seem like your forcing her to be intament. s that. In a while she'll get over it and realize s are available anywhere then she'll be happy!
2007-10-22 21:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should do stuuf to make her want you.
2007-10-22 21:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by blue star 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋