there is a guy at my work who's harrassing me! help!?

Question

The security gaurd at my work on the weekends is making me uncomfortable. He is always asking me what I want to eat and that sorta thing. When I go on a break he's right there "having" to talk with me. Let me tell you I brush this guy off so many times. I dont want to be mean but this has got to stop. My coworkers think he likes me but I'm happily married to wonderful man. I dont understand why he's singling me out when he knows I'm married. I dont find him appealing at all. Not even his personality. I wish he'd leave me alone. I know if I say anything to his boss it could mean trouble, especially for me.

Answer 1

Then, dear one, the next time he approaches you, tell him that you need to talk privately for a minute. If he's a decent guy, and you're not afraid of him, take him aside and say, "Perhaps you don't mean to be doing anything wrong, but I don't feel comfortable with you singling me out and wanting to talk to me all the time. I'm a married woman - happily married, and you're making me uncomfortable. I don't mean to be mean, but I really wish you would leave me alone."
If he acts like a 'stocker' - you need to handle it differently. Whatever you do, don't mess around. Some people have some mental problems and things trigger them. Be careful and be wise. Don't walk to your car alone. Just because as person is a 'security guard' doesn't make them a good safe person. Unfortunately, that kind of work doesn't bring in the best of people. They're usually 'wantabe' policemen!!! Take care of yourself and don't take chances.

Answer 2

You may just have to learn to deal with it. Saying it's harrassment when he asks you what you want to eat? That's not really harrassment. Touching you, cornering you, making sexual comments about your body, that's harrassment, and from what you are saying he's pretty far off from that. But if you can take your breaks with another coworker, or if it's really that annoying, leave the building when you go on your breaks.

Answer 3

I agree with Parkie. Nothing you said leads me to believe that his interest in you has anything more to do with shooting the breeze, although since I'm not there on a day to day basis, I couldn't say for sure. One thing I could say though, as a security guard, you have a lot of time to be bored, and it can be a pretty lonely job. That could be why he is trying to make small talk with you. Not everyone who asks you whats for lunch today is trying to get in your pants.

Answer 4

If you assume that he's into you and say something to that effect, you could make things awkward. It is possible that he is just friendly because he likes you, not into you. Stop giving him the brush off and tell him that you'd prefer that he give you some professional distance. In many companies, it's not considered harassment until you officially tell him that he is either making you uncomfortable or to leave you alone.

Answer 5

I think you could try handling it by saying you don't want to be rude, but you don't have time to chit chat, and then walk away. Take your break wherever he won't be. He could be creepy or he could be just looking to talk, either way if you don't make time for him then it will become less of an issue. If you really feel harrassed or in danger though, I would definitely encourage you to tell someone.

Answer 6

Say something like, "Hey, I just don't want to give you the wrong idea, I am very happily married. I don't mind being friends, but you'll have to be respectful that I want nothing more". If he does not respond the way you want, you will have to report it to your supervisor. Harrassment in the workplace does include this type of behavior. You give him a warning yourself first, then proceed, if needed.