What 2 do when ur boyfriend ended his 7yr relationship amost 1yr ago but still talk 2 her on myspace/ hang out

Question

I have been talkin 2 my new boyfriend 4 two 1/2 months now. But when I first met him he told me he just got out of a 7yrs relationship. The first thing came 2 my mind is that no way is he over this girl. But he told me they r. They have not been together 4 1yr now. But I think they r still hooking up or something because they are always talking 2 each other on myspace, I know this 4 a fact because I read his message she post up, then I turn around and read her message he posted up. And the message always talk about 4 instance 2 day they was talking about mondays 1/2 dk somewhere and she knew he had 2 many and said we r goin 2 have 2 do this again. How would she know that if they don't see each other. Kind of strange. But she never call his phone and he never call her phone i always check 2 make sure. I just don't feel comfortable that he is through talkin 2 her. But it could b me I can just be over my self thinking something is goin on. I need help. Some type of solution....

Answer 1

it is normal to feel insecure abt them talking to each other. esp if the other girl is really attractive. my bf used to crush on girls that are so pretty and i feel so insecure. he blocked her in msn and didn't talk to her cos i felt really upset abt them. but come to think abt it, every one has their past. but what is most important now is the present and the future. i come to understand that worries are always there when you think too much. and he will be really pissed off if you pop into every of the things he do. so now, i stayed clear. rather than worrying abt them hooking up, why not build up on our own confidence, pretty up ourselves, be more understanding and trust each other alot more and he will love you more. if a guy is yours, he's yours. if he's not, then whatever he does is not gg to matter any more. so just put in all your heart in loving him and as long as you have tried your best in a relationship, you have no regrets. cheers.:)

Answer 2

First communicate about you feel about the situation
Second get his viewpoint on the situation
Make sure you listen and try not over react
Then think about what your next move is.

Here is some xtra info

You just know this is the one you will marry. You enjoy each other’s company, you share common interests, and you sense a mutual attraction. Then, suddenly, the relationship dies, exploding in a burst of anger—or melting in tears.

In his book The Chemistry of Love, Dr. Michael Liebowitz likens the onset of love to the rush of a powerful drug. But like a drug, such love can trigger raging ‘withdrawal symptoms’ if it dies. And it makes little difference whether the love is mere infatuation or the ‘real thing.’ Both can create dizzying highs—and agonizing lows if the relationship ends.

The feelings of rejection, hurt, and perhaps outrage that come in the wake of a breakup may thus sour your view of the future. One young woman speaks of herself as ‘wounded’ because of being jilted. “I can only be a ‘Hi, how are you?’ person [with the opposite sex] now,” she says. “I am not letting any person get close to me.” The deeper the commitment you feel in a relationship, the deeper the hurt its breakup can cause.

Yes, indeed, the freedom to court whom you please carries a hefty price tag: the real possibility of rejection. There simply is no guarantee that true love will grow. So if someone began courting you with honest intentions but later concluded that marriage would be unwise, you have not necessarily been dealt with unfairly.

The problem is, even when a breakup is handled with the utmost tact and kindness, you are still bound to feel hurt and rejected. This is no reason to lose your self-esteem, however. The fact that you were not “right” in this person’s eyes does not mean that you will not be just right in the eyes of someone else!

Try putting the defunct romance in cool perspective. The breakup may very well have spotlighted disturbing things about the person you were involved with—emotional immaturity, indecision, inflexibility, intolerance, a lack of consideration for your feelings. These are hardly desirable qualities in a marriage mate.

What if the breakup is entirely one-sided and you are convinced that a marriage would have worked out well? Certainly you have a right to let the other person know how you feel. Perhaps there have simply been some misunderstandings. Emotional ranting and raving accomplishes little. And if he or she insists on splitting up, there is no need for you to humiliate yourself, tearfully begging for the affections of someone who obviously has no feelings for you. Solomon said there is “a time to seek and a time to give up as lost.”—Ecclesiastes 3:6.

What if you have strong reason to suspect that you were merely being used by someone who never had a sincere interest in marriage in the first place? You need not resort to vindictive reprisals. Be assured that his or her deviousness is not unnoticed by God. His Word says: “The cruel person is bringing ostracism upon his own organism.”—Proverbs 11:17; compare Proverbs 6:12-15.

From time to time you may still be tormented by loneliness or romantic memories. If so, it’s all right to have a good cry. It also helps to get busy, perhaps in some physical activity or the Christian ministry. (Proverbs 18:1) Keep your mind on things that are cheerful and upbuilding. (Philippians 4:8) Confide in a close friend. (Proverbs 18:24) Your parents may also be of great comfort, even if you feel you are old enough to be independent. (Proverbs 23:22)

You may now see the need to work on certain aspects of your personality. Your vision of what you want in a marriage mate may be clearer than ever. And having loved and lost, you may decide to handle courtship a bit more prudently should a desirable person come along again—the likelihood of which may be greater than you think.

Answer 3

It is hard to say but I would give it SOME time Always go with your first instict there is a reason you feel this way If he is lying to you then get out now before it gets harder if he is lying about seeing her then there is a reason for it but always remember love can make you put up with things you never thought you would put up with and that is not always a good thing actually it usually is not a good thing If he is not being honest or even if he is telling you he is hanging out with her then you need to decide if this is something worth dealing with because trust me if it goes on for a year or 2 it will only be harder to end it then and you will wish you would have walked away before it got that bad Good Luck and any man worth your love would respect how you feel and not lie about anything esp an ex

Answer 4

There is no way I would be going for that. He probrably is erasing the phone calls and text messages as soon as he talks to her. I was in a relationship with a guy who had a girl for 7 years come to find out they were always breaking up and getting back together. Turns out I was just a a 3 month vacation. anywayz why don't you leave a comment on his myspace saying somethin like she needs to step off your man. but the smartest thing would be to let him go.

Answer 5

Well, when you're that close to someone for seven years they're bound to still think of each other.
But just because they're friends doesn't mean there's anything going on.
You trust someone until you have a reason not to, but just because they're hanging out doesn't mean they're sleeping together.
Your boyfriend is just being friends with an ex, and doesn't seem to me like anything is going on.
You should learn to trust him, because a relationship is nothing without trust.
Talk to him about your feelings, in a non-accusing way, and I'm sure then you'll feel better.

Answer 6

The girl is probably a family friend and close to everyone, so if u like this guy ur just gonna have to trust him. If u cant trust him, dont bother with a relationship...

Also, IF u have problems with something, they can usually be worked out by talking to the person.. try that.

Answer 7

I think the most important thing is how you feel about this situation. If you can't handle it, and suspicion is getting a hold of you, step aside.
If you love the guy, and you're ready to put up with anything that might still exist between them, so do it.
But, think about this: you haven't quite started with him yet, and you're already troubled.
One suggestion: keep your heart away, and see how it goes. If it's worth investing your feelings, go for it.
However, I think your should try to be free for when the right one comes along.
Good luck.

Answer 8

You need some help and here it is right here. You need to tell him he needs to choose her or you because both is unacceptable. That conversation says they are at least meeting. They may not be physically hooking up, but there is definitely something emotional going on with opportunities with the physical. If he refuses to give up talking to her, then stick to the rules and he has to give up you so you can find somebody who will not cheat on you. He may have some endearing qualities, but almost all guys do, and most of the ones available won't cheat on you.

Answer 9

Well if they are only coversating then I wouldn't trip. I mean the boy did give her seven years of his life. I'm sure that somewhere in the seven years a friendship was formed. And you must repsect that. If the messages aren't vulgar and disrespectful to you then don't worry about it. If you think they are doing more than just conversating then talk to him. It sounds innocent. He's with you now and you must trust him!

Answer 10

Well....if you haven't noticed anything else going on, then maybe their isn't....I talk to my ex all the time on myspace, facebook, and aim....and we have been broken up for 2 years. That doesn't mean I want to hang with him or even see him face to face. I think you should have a calm conversation with your boyfriend telling him that this makes you uncomfortable. Don't bring a bunch of bad things up to make him feel guilty, but just simply tell him how you feel and try to reach a compromise....maybe he will promise to talk to her less....or maybe he is still good friends with her and so doesn't want to stop talking to her. Try looking at it from his point of view, and ask yourself....do you trust him?